Summer free verse

cold morning
baseball in pjs
coloring inside the lines
balloons unpopped
ordinary friday
home run

# # #

Sitting on the couch, looking around and listening to Kavaun playing ball in the backyard while Roya colored at the table. 

Present

Today before Roya June laid down for her afternoon nap, I asked her what love looks like.

She looked in my direction with a slight smile, reached her arms out and moved in for a deep breath hug around my neck.

When she let go, she said, "That's what love looks like."

# # #



Last night at Music in the Park I watched Kavaun and Roya play duck duck goose with a small group of boys and girls. The way kids naturally gravitiate toward one another and make up their own rules is refreshing. Roya adapted and played nice while all of the children seemed to respect the individual interpretations of their game. Some children opted in and out of their unique variation of Duck Duck Goose and simultaneously some bursts of tag broke out with Kavaun running in and out of families in the crowd hiding and seeking.

Ice cream after was the perfect cap on our family night.

# # #

Perfect Saturdays

Mickey Mouse pancakes on the griddle.
Mama fast asleep.
Mismatched PJs and coloring books.
A perfect morning.

Play ball

As my boy steps to the crooked plate and looks out over the menacing deck in left field, he twirls the bat around and adjusts his imaginary batting gloves. He looks the part of a mini-Big Leaguer and he even mimics the intense expression of a hitter in the zone.

The pitch, just a bit low according to the batter/umpire. "That slider just missed," with a little extra emphasis on just. He needs time to get his sign and take a few more practice cuts before stepping in to face my fastball.

He plays so much there is a slightly beaten down path to first base in our backyard. The four dirt patches surrounding each base bring me great joy. Never thought dirt could be such a happy sight, especially in my well manicured yard.

Every dad should be so lucky to have worn out grass resembling a perfectly imperfect baseball diamond in the yard. Paired with a couple dirt spots under the swings these are the markings of a summer well spent.

Kavaun's field is kind of a mix between Fenway Park and the old Tiger Stadium. Like Fenway, play is tight along the foul lines and the left field porch homerun is an effortless stroke with even the slightest breeze. Like Tiger Stadium with the flag pole in centerfield, our backyard park includes a swing set in play with trees hanging over a right field homerun.

Daily, his games are played out. Sometimes with friends and neighbors. Sometimes alone. Always for fun. Play by play announcing includes calls recognizing our favorite Tigers like Iglesias, Kinsler and Cabrera and some made-up names that resemble stars - like "Machado" for Mustakous or any number of other visiting team player names that have not been ingrained in his memory like our Tigers.

I will pitch and once in a while hit, but I will not be the ump too often. I play by his rules and try to enjoy is version of the games. His version typically involves him winning, swiping extra bases and going to the replay booth to have his calls confirmed.

Baseball has a special way of connecting generations and this summer has brought me closer to my son. I would like to think that if it weren't baseball it would surely be something else to bring us together, but baseball is so natural and easy for me and he has a pure love for the game at this age. We are speaking the same language and loving the same team. We ride the roller-coaster that is a 162-game season and we talk about things like sacrifice bunts, getting out of jams and not arguing balls and strikes. Anguishing losses make him cry and thrilling victories end in our fives and hugs.

This is true love.

We have attended a couple minor league games and a few Tigers games and his observation of the actual game leads to a lot of questions and also a lot of silent time shared in the moment. I just watch him enjoy something I enjoy. He is the only 6 year old that I have to talk into getting treats or going to the Team Store because he does not want to miss the action. Cracks me up.

I relive my childhood regularly and the innocence of lost time in the summer keeps me young.



# # #

Roya June Turns One!

Dear Roya June,

Happy birthday love.

The last year with you and the months prior when you were in mama's belly mark the best days of my life. Thank you. With your mama and your brother Kavaun and the two of us we have our perfect family. Not perfent in the sense of not having our challenges or our ordinary moments, but perfect in the sense that we have more love and joy to go around than we could possibly express with all of our giggles, hugs, kisses and games.  What a great place to be in life when you know that there are not enough ways to express all the joys in life.

You are a happy baby. Your sense of humor is contagious and your smile infectious. You simply make all of the other stuff in life seem unimportant. Playing with you and helping you take those first steps lands you in the Highlights for the Day category regularly.

I think about you when I am not with you and I really do treasure our time together because you make me so happy and proud. 

Tonight after dinner we are going to give you a cupcake, take some pictures and video and celebrate you. This will be the first of many celebrations of you. You have been a blessing in our lives and loving you brings  so much fulfillment. You are my little girl and you always will be and for that I thank you.

Happy birthday.

Love Yours Truly,
Baba

I just had a little chuckle.

Ya see, when I go to the bathroom and I see Kavaun's stack of books by the toilet it makes me think of the animated style in which he reads and sings on the toilet daily.

With the newness of that first day of school or the first drive alone with your license, I watched Roya take 2 1/2 steps today. Soon, my baby girl will be walking. It is already going fast.

Like usual, I cannot sleep on a Sunday night. But so grateful that I am aware enough to realize that today's walk with Kavaun and yesterday playing the human mountain for Roya to climb on were great highlights for a weekend.

Between Roya's contagious smile, Kavaun's imagination and Beata's innocent giggles and beauty I have had the best weekend imaginable. When I go back to work tomorrow and someone asks what I did this last weekend, I guess I will have to reply, "I smiled" and my next line, "I did everything I wanted to do."

Just flat-out lucky.

Gratitude post

On a day when we saw an elephant, lion and monkeys at the Phoenix Zoo, Kavaun's favorite part of the day may have been when the Recycle truck came by to pick up the large bin we walked out to the curb together the night before.

On a day when we played in a pool, ate ice cream and went out and ate pizza, Kavaun most loved spotting the airplanes flying over the house.

And my Roya June  in her baby bikinis and new outfits from mamani.

All of it and more made this seven day trip to Scottsdale Arizona a welcome break in the cold and gray that is Michigan in the winter and early spring. I played in a pool, played with my kids, got to see family and more importantly got to enjoy Beata  loving on her family.

What a great week. I am grateful I am often living in these moments that make my life so special. I am soaking it up and savoring every hug, kiss, giggle, funny  question, game, joke, and even some of the tantrums.

This vacation has energized me and helped me get back to what I love most in life - being the best dad and husband I can be right now.

If I get on my game, I will post some pictures soon.

N

Birthday wishes

With a birthday around the corner, all I can think is that there is truly nothing I need or even really want this year. With the addition of Roya, a beautiful 4-year-old story-telling creative Kavaun and an amzaing wife and best friend in Beata, what else is there?

Kavaun has been playing a lot of referee with his Lego whistle and black and white striped shirt. Roya is all smiles as she crawls everywhere and pulls herself up to stand.

Currently I am typing from my bed as I play host to Kavaun's stuffed animals and toys (octopus, dinosaur and Woofy the dog to name a few).

The only wish I have for my birthday and beyond is that I remain aware of my own good fortune and enjoy the moments that make all of this so incredible.

Good night,
N

Best Days are RIGHT NOW

It is official.
This is the best time in my life. I have never felt so fulfilled and energized by the people in my life.
Roya is 8 months. Kavaun is four.
I am married to my best friend and love of my life going for 7-plus years.
Living in the moment. Living in every single moment on the best days.

Late night feedings with Roya on my shoulder afterward, sound asleep.
Her little arms wrapped on my neck and all I can do is smile.
I loved this age with Kavaun too and now I have a new perspective and understanding of why I want to soak it up before moving on to the next phase.

Every night at dinner, we each say what we are grateful for and occasionally we will talk about highs and lows from the day. Mostly though we battle Kavaun to get him to sit still. My list of gratitude is long and heart-felt. I do not always verbalize well, but I feel it in my interactions everyday. It trickles over into how I carry myself in my career. It fills me up. Since I do believe in jinxing, that gratitude list includes our health, our family, even our house, neighbors and jobs and the support we get from our entire "network" of family (including Miss Tonya).

Beata made a beautiful photo book for our family highlighting all the cool things 2012 brought our way. I love it.

More later.
It's late.

Going to go stare at my baby girl sleeping for a few minutes then kiss my boy on the forehead before I go to bed.

Untitled

Dead tired
Never so full of life
Roya is amazing
Kavaun her hero
Beata the glue and the loving intentional mom and wife
Me
The lucky one

First Night in crib

Our baby girl Roya is in her crib downstairs for the first time. Until now she has been sleeping in a little cacun-like rocking bed in our bedroom.

Roya June is a happy smiley girl. Eye contact guarantees a smile. She laughs at Kavaun and plays along with his entertaining antics.

I have never been so happy and so fulfilled in my life as I am now.

Every night at dinner we have a tradition where we ask Kavaun what he is grateful for and he shares with us. We get various responses including, "Baba is a good cooker." "Mother Nature", "Snack time at school", "My food" and the "Garbage man". After giving thanks, we all do a cheers with our drinks and Beata and I follow suit. This was a tradition Beata started and I love it. It is usually one of the highlights of my day.

Happy 4th Birthday buddy

Tomorrow my boy turns four.
And all I can think is to be grateful for the last four years with him in our life.
The other thought I have is to fight wishing time would slow down and to just enjoy these times for what they are, realizing that saying goodbye to today also means welcoming all the new tomorrow's.
I love you Kavaun. I am overwhelmed by how much I love you. Just overwhelmed.

---

Kavaun started school a few weeks ago and he really seems to like the experience. He is talking so much and his personality is becoming more and more defined.

Roya had her checkup and shots - last week she weighed in at 13 pounds and 30 inches.

More later,
N

Pizza and hot dogs

Kavaun in just made me pizza in his kitchen
He offered me a hot dog too - with mustard

And he says all he has is cheese pizza and pepperoni. When I asked about mushrooms he said he had this too. His toy room is the kitchen and when I stepped into the area bordered by toys, a blanket and other big things, he politely asked me to leave because "this is where I make my food."

Kavaun's toy room has recently been a forest where deer live, a garbage truck, a cockpit and a castle. And that was just on Friday.

I love this boys imagination and how creatively he plays independently.

Luck baba,
N

Bacon and eggs

Frying breakfast while my first love sleeps
Second love is playing cockpit - he is always the lead pilot
My third love is sleeping, tired from smiling all morning
Thank you God for Saturday mornings
And all the days before and after
In this
The best summer of my life

Kavaun "exposed"

I don't enjoy folding clothes, but tonight was different. It was a chance to be reminded that right now is the best time in life and I do not take it for granted. Each pair of Kavaun's pj bottoms with silly designs (dinosaurs, Elmo, trucks and bears) and little onesies for Roya served as notice that I need to continue to appreciate this time - one funny challenge at a time. Here is the latest in bullet points with hopes that this will serve as he blueprint for our laughs later: * Night time summer walks have been a grat tradition for after dinner. * Kavaun's dancing at the Music in the Park held at the Fenton Gazebo was enjoyed by about 150 spectators as he took his show right up to the stage area. They howeled with laughter as he pulled his pants down, put his hand on his hip and got ready to launch his "outdoor pee" facing the audience! Luckily I was about 25 feet away and I was able to cover him and pull up his pants so the show as short-lived. We went accross the street and he peed on the banks of the river in some brush away from the crowds. * Roya's temperment has been great as we adjust to ur new life with a baby and toddler. There's a lot I am forgetting, but I am tired....next time. N

Finally home with Roya June and Beata. As I type this Baby Roya is sleeping peacefully with the last light of dusk sneaking into the room. James Taylor and Jim Croce (Time in a Bottle) serenade us while Beata takes a long-awaited warm bath. Life is perfect. I have never been so filled with love and gratitude that is made me stop like this - stop to savor it all, take it and try to beat back the fear that goes with this abundance of love. ### It's fitting that Mother's Day is tomorrow and without the incredible women in my life, I am afraid I would be incomplete. My own mother led me to my wife and my appreciation of the gifts that Beata brings to our marriage. Her mom is her best friend and now we have to opportunity to raise our baby Roya so she can be a strong beautiful and compassionate woman. Kavaun will be a better everything because of his mom's love.

Here I sit / Hospital room / Roya June in my arm / Beata joon sleeping at my side / Everything in life perfect / Just perfect

The Wrath of Kavaun

This has been the month of lists. Mostly to-do lists, but also dream lists, name lists, purchase lists, and all of the above. Kavaun has been quite fun overall and we still remain amazed at his persistence. It is unbelievable really. This boy will not give up on anything - an idea, an argument, a simple request denied. For Kavaun just about everything can be deemed as the most important need and he will make sure the world knows it. A drink of water, a toy to play with or something more important like his hunger or a desire for one specific food - everyone is subject to his wrath or his smiley manipulation (whichever he deems to be most effective for the moment).

I will have to finish this entry later... gotta run,
N