Old Business (to put here in order to have all blog entries together)

THESE ARE OLD ENTRIES ALL COPIED AND PASTED HERE SO ALL OF THE BLOG ENTRIES ARE IN ONE PLACE TOGETHER.

BLOG ENTRIES FOR KAVAUN FROM the First entry in May 2008 to June 2009 when the transfer to www.summerdaddy.blogspot.com took over from www.babababies.com.

Nick pages 1-93
Beata pages 94-102
Kavaun and Favorites and Milestones 102 to 107



Tuesday June 23, 2009 The Baby Book Entry
I am now the master of multi-tasking. Vacuum. Got it. Dishes. No problem. My next venture will be mowing the lawn with Kavaun a safe distance away, yet in sight with his Exer-Saucer.
He is crawling everywhere. I want to enter him in a crawling race. He is fast. Sneaky.
Kavaun is standing every chance he gets. As I type this I am taking short breaks to feed him tiny little pieces of bread.
To say diaper changes are a chore would be huge understatement. As it is currently, Kavaun is in a very squirmy and loud state when he is put on his back. I must admit that I have sternly talked at him, laughed and finally I have resorted to a new game his mother made up called, "Diaper Time." I say, "diaper time" in a high pitched voice and wobble my head around like a dog after a bath and make funny noises so he laughs. Meanwhile Kavaun has a pacifier in his mouth, a toy in his hands and even a pillow for his heads.
I am no different than others. I just admit my ways on this blog!
Being a stay-at-home parent is rewarding. I also know that this is a valuable time and it will be short-lived until September so it is easier to appreciate I suppose. I have learned that I need to make a list of to-do's though.
I have to go. We are going to hit the pavement for our walk before it gets too warm and then it is over to the flower bed to pull weeds and dead flowers.
... and tonight Kavaun and I will have some time with Rod, Mario and the Detroit Tigers on TV. I figure we can catch the first three innings maybe.
Love, Nick


06/23/09 The typos in the previous entry (despite two or three checks) are a good reminder that maybe I am not the master multi-tasker.


06/13/09 A great day is coming to a nice end. Kavaun is sleeping, the Tigers are on TV and I should have about 30 minutes of daylight left for a walk while Beata works on her laptop.
Today we spent a few hours at a baby party (I prefer the term party over shower when men are invited) for one of Beata's colleagues. While there, Kavaun got to interact with two boys within weeks od his age and also a couple 18-month olds and a 3-year old. It was fun to watch all the action. Kavaun was quite a bit of fun as the baby being honored (five weeks old) slept pretty much all day.
Kavaun, on this particular day, was very happy, giggly and active. He has been crawling everywhere, exploring everything and smiling the whole time. He is standing up pretty easily now too. In general, these have been very good times. Even at the high school last week on one of his visits, the office staff commented on how smiley and active Kavaun was. He is getting to that age where it seems like almost anything can be made into a fun game or a challenge to laugh. He does have his tired crabby side too - we tend to see that in the late afternoon if we see it at all though.
I am going to set the i-pod aside, grab my walkman and listen to a couple innings on the radio while I walk.
Good night, N


06/06/09 June 6, 2009 For the Record:
Kavaun started pulling himself up to stand in the last 7-10 days. And last night at 1:30 a.m. when he was in the middle of one of his crying fits, I sat in the rocking chair trying to wait it out - him crying, whimpering, starting to fall asleep, and waking up repeated twenty-three times. I don’t even really plead with him. I just watch him watch me and let him know I am there by well, sitting there in silence. He is calmer when I am in the room at least.
It is a battle of wills. He needs sleep. We need him not to go nuts. The way I see it, we both get what we want.
Before he fell over in his crib and moaned himself to sleep, he stood up, flashed his trademark smile and proceeded to poke his little head over the crib rail. It wasn’t like he was pulling himself over the railing, but my instincts kicked in to get off my but and lower his crib mattress right then. So, our little fighter went with Beata at 2 a.m. while I grumbled and stammered around taking apart the crib so I could lower the mattress.
And truth is, I would not trade any of this. These are the not-so-fun real things that first time parents probably look back on and appreciate later on. Sure, I was not thrilled last night when I woke up to the Kavaun alarm. It is usually only after a good night of sleep that I can see this for what it is: unpredictable, challenging, tiring, fun and exactly what we signed up for. I feel like I am doing a good job of living in the moment. I want to soak it all up. My writing may help me soak this up years later.
We have resorted to having to work on our “laugh habits” this week since Kavaun has been doing regular 1 a.m. wake-up calls. Last night was the first time we really got him back to sleep. Tuesday through Thursday were a little bit different in that we tried to make sleep happen, but instead we just kind of “hung out” with him while we half-slept and he kicked, played and snoozed when he felt like taking a break. Kavaun runs the show, but my feeling is that so long as we don’t complain about it, then it is okay. If we become miserably tired and whiny then put us in our place, set us straight, tell us what we are doing wrong. But, right now it is the way it is supposed to be - at least as far as we know. I think an eight month old baby runs the show more often than moms and dads choose to let on, despite the revisionist history parents resort to when they recount their parenting methods. We feel pretty lucky that we have so many supportive and funny people to help us keep it together from time to time.
After a decent nights rest and some perspective, it is much easier to say now that I enjoy when he Kavaun is super tired and just latches on when I hold him. If he’s really tired he’ll sigh and press his cheeks up against my shoulder or neck and pass out. Sometimes he likes to kick, laugh and wiggle his little body around in my arms and in an instant he will simply nod off. He fights sleep and a very stubborn personality is emerging right before my sleepy eyes. He comes by it naturally I suppose.
# # #
Kavaun is doing what most eight-month old babies do – he is becoming aware when something is absent. He loves some of his toys and lately he has been into playing with balls and teething rings. If he can’t get to a toy he really wants, he makes sure to let you know. In my smart-ass way, I often tell him, “Great communication Kavaun. I am so proud that you let us know how you feel.” In the bathtub when one of his three squirt toys got away he tried to go after it clutching the other two toys firmly in his hands.
I will try to post a couple uneventful pictures that show how active our little guy is. I took my eyes away from Kavaun for 10 seconds and he managed to get into our recycle bin in the kitchen. New toys! His other favorites: shoes and electrical cords.
More later. Gotta love it.
Nick


05/31/09 May 31, 2009 ~ 11 a.m.
Aunt Janet gently reminded me I need to journal and I could not agree more. This is a haven for me to STOP, reflect and get some of my thoughts on record. The fact that even one other person may read this is usually enough motivation for me to take the time to share. Truth is, I do this journaling for me, Beata and Kavaun more than anything else. I am beginning to realize that the things that even happened two months ago are pushed up into the attic of my memory to make room for all of the new things happening. I imagine as weeks turn into several months and those months turn into years, this journal may be the best way for me to reach back to the early days.
So, thanks Aunt Janet. Here are the bullet points while Kavaun takes his nap.
* Kavaun is simply perfect. I have never enjoyed my life as much as I do now. I am excited about an entire summer with Kavaun and I already have all kinds of ideas on how we will fill our days – which will include weekly trips to Ionia and the Flint Journal for lunch with Beata.
* While my face book photo posts would lead people to believe that all I do is take pictures, I have to admit that I have actually enjoyed not taking pictures too often. We spend more time hanging out than me trying to capture all of it.
* Kavaun crawled for the first time on the morning of May 20 – Beata’s birthday. She got so excited and screamed loud enough that a confused Kavaun stopped right in his tracks. It was only a couple days before this that his new bottom teeth actually came through too. So, now Kavaun is more mobile and he likes to chew on everything. Of course, KK in her “unconventional wisdom” has helped him discover a love for empty water bottles and other simple toys to keep him a little less mobile.
* My favorite game with Kavaun is what we call, “Roly Poly” – I clutch him in my arms and lay on back and roll back and forth as he giggles and I make noises in his little ears. Beata is a big peek-a-boo fan in addition to holding a magazine page above her head and ripping it to elicit a Kavaun giggle. I never imagined so much joy could be gained in the goofiest ways just because you make your child smile. In fact, on a car ride recently, Beata made the point, and I paraphrase here, “Think of how many smiles Kavaun has added to our lives . . . how many more times we have smiled all because of him.” Having said that, I realize that I may need a gentle reminder of this, say … when he is a teenager.
* Right now we are going through a little bit of diaper changing struggle and it is probably because life is so much fun now that sitting still for those 45 seconds is a lot to ask! Our boy eats well and we continue to pass him around to as many people as we can to hold him since he seems to typically enjoy being engaged by people – although I hear there may be a serious attachment phase coming soon.
* We had a great Mother’s Day a few weeks ago. Kavaun loves KK – the “baby whisperer” when it comes to getting Kavaun to sleep. And I need to go on record in letting the world know (or the people who read this at least) that KK’s advice for getting Kavaun to rest has been very helpful. We do not like to let him cry and we just won’t do it – at least we won’t let it go on for more than a couple minutes. Typically his cries are light (if at all) and they transition into the “sleepy moans” that lead to sleep pretty quickly.
* Beata’s 29th birthday celebration was special. We really enjoy going out for dinner and Beata enjoyed her gifts. We followed up her May 20 birthday with a trip to the park over Memorial Day and with our camera and tri-pod, we snapped some nice pictures.
* A sore subject in our household is the fact that we never did those darn baby announcements and now it is a bit late. I have a plan to make up for that, so we shall see. . .
* I am not sure how to spell the Persian phrases Beata says to Kavaun, but they sure make him smile. The best is when she comes home and Kavaun sees her come up our stairs – instant smiles that my written words, pictures or anything else can not adequately capture. For sure, one of the highlights of my day is when Beata gets home from work. I really enjoy the time all three of us get together.
* Maybe the cutest thing ever was cheering Kavaun on as he transitioned from rolling from his back to his stomach and then later from his stomach to sitting up. Pretty fun stuff for a couple of first time parents. Now, when we go to get him from his crib, he is often sitting up.
More later – I promise (my guess is that summer may be a time for some heavy journaling).
- Nick


04/12/09 Submitted via cell phone while on vacation:
title: doing something great
i often tell beata that i have always felt like in my life i would do something great - something extraordinary. even as a little boy on king street i always felt like greatness was in my future. i could never put my finger on it. this greatness idea has never really been defined by me. does it have to do with a career possibility? fame? a hobby gone big-time? i know - maybe authoring a book? or the speaking ciircuit? overcoming something? even when i was 8 years old standing in my backyard wearing hand-me-downs and staring at old 2 x 4's and a wagon imagining building a rollercoaster, common sense told me my vision for engineering a carnival ride in my backyard that would rival those at the ionia free fair was impossible, but i still imagined it in grand detail. what would be MY great accomplishment? today, i am sitting here typing this on my phone and breaking to watch Kavaun sleep.
full - circle. it is rewarding to finally have my answer ... and of course it has nothing to do with carnival rides.


04/10/09 April 10, 2009
It is a hazy Saturday in Oregon. For the third consecutive night I slept more than nine hours - mostly thanks to Beata and her family since they have completely taken over meeting all of Kavaun's needs. Similar to our last Oregon visit four months ago, leaving here tomorrow will be incredibly tough. Last time t was so difficult because all of this was still so new and we probably felt a little lost. Now, we have this incredibly happy baby boy who has a great personality and who has been coddled, hugged, held, sang to, read to and played with all the time. Before I think I was most sad to see Beata feeling so upset over leaving and watching her parents glassy eyes upon our final goodbye. This time I am sad for all of those reasons and then also knowing that Kavaun is aware enough to truly miss everyone here. A sad Beata is bad enough. A sad Kavaun will break my heart.
We were a little bit concerned that a tired Kavaun coming off the plane might not give Beata's family the kind of greeting we wanted. Our concerns never came to fruition. He was so happy and giggly despite being hungry and tired.
While here Kavaun has been doted on more than he has been the last four months combined. During our time in Arizona, Kavaun swam for the first time in addition to enjoying all of the flowers and water fountains at the resort. He was so curious and fun to be around the entire time. His mood and demeanor could not have been more fun for us. And let's face it, if he would have been more picky and hard to please, I wouldn't be complaining here anyway. He slept at restaurants while we ate and got up early for our walks. He slept in our bed or on a shoulder and he napped in his car seat.
Kavaun has never really had much of a schedule. I would call it more a "set of general routines" that tend to happen most of the time. For instance, we normally give him a bath before bed time. We usually feed him solids twice a day sometime around noon and then again around 5'ish. But while on vacation, those routines were tossed out the window thankfully. He was able to spend more time with all of us and he slept while we walked him. One morning, I decided to take a bath with him at 5:30 a.m. and then we walked around the resort for three hours - me taking pictures, Kavaun drifting in and out of sleeping and smiling. It was toward the end of that three hour stretch that I called my mom and we talked for more than 45 minutes as I walked laps around he pool with Kavaun cooing and babbling in his attempt to wake guests at the resort.
###
Yesterday we took Kavaun to Nike World Headquarters in Beaverton to visit his Aunt Sara at work. The campus was beautiful. Two executives approached us about Kavaun becoming a baby model for a new line of clothing they will market for summer and fall wear (college football season). I guess the motto for some of the smaller newborn clothes is, "Just Did It" (a spin off of "Just Do It" their longtime motto). Some of the graphics and slogans relate to first time crawling, walking, cooing, etc. Apparently the folks at Nike see the baby market as a new opportunity to expand sales. We took a business card and explained that we would be back in July. They were serious since Kavaun is "so healthy" and has "striking features" - his eyes namely. I am to send four head shots next week. Pretty cool even if it doesn't go anywhere.
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Some items I will need to write about more in-depth later:
Kavaun swimming
Our Nike contract
Our summer plans I need to record Kavaun's measurements (I think his 6 mos. doctor visit was 26.5 inches and 19 lbs.)
Comparison of Kavaun to Beata at 6 months (maybe I will post a picture)
My plans to emerge Farsi into Kavaun's life (especially this summer)
More later. I want to post this before I lose it.
Love, N
After failing to post for almost a month, I am afraid our hits on this site have diminished to almost nothing! Oh, and the part about NIke wanting a new model is a blatant lie. I am confident most of you understood that as you were reading, but just in case. I just like to see who is still reading this.
.


04/10/09 Oh Kavaun - how Grandpa Balice would love to get a hold of those cheeks!
N


03/15/09 March 15, 2009
Where does the time go?
It goes into watching Kavaun smile.
And then talking about it.
Photographing it.
Mirroring it.
Watching Kavaun roll over.
Sleep in my arms.
Helping him eat and spread colorful baby food all over his round face.
Time is lost on a walk with him in his stroller on a sunny day.
The time goes by while Kavaun sits in the grocery cart and I stop three or four times for 5-minutes each time to take pictures with my camera phone.
The time goes as fast or as slow as his last bottle.
Time gets lost rocking while he coos, sighs and moans his way to sleep.
The time escapes while bathing Kavaun and wrapping him up in his froggy towel.
Lost in the repeat conversation with Beata about how much we love him and his cheeks.
Imagining the next phase.
Enjoying this time passes the time.
###
Kavaun fun moment # 1: (Maybe I will add to this since writing long substantive blog entries seems to be more difficult these days.)
When Kavaun’s uncontrollable laughter get his feet kicking away while his eyes are squinted like upside down smiles. He laughs with his little tongue sticking out as he bobs his head around.
N


02/24/09 Tuesday February 24, 2009
I do not know how some people manage to be away from their children for long periods of time. Last night we had our longest trip of the season which gave me about five minutes to rush home and see Kavaun before we boarded the bus after school. By the time I got home at 10:30 p.m. he was fast asleep. Beata was exhausted too.
Watching Kavaun sleep is peaceful, but it is not the same as holding him, playing with him or bathing him. And then this morning I was out the door before he woke up - if you don't count the couple times Beata got up with him during the night that I completely slept through. (Sorry sweetie - my turn tonight)
All I really wanted to do last night after our JV basketball game was hold Kavaun - maybe walk him around the gym, show him off, make him laugh, watch him sleep - all of it. Perspective has been one of the greatest gifts of fatherhood. I was happy to be coaching but when the game was over I would have been happiest hanging out with Beata and Kavaun.
# # #
My team impressed me with their determination. We had three of our original starters out and we played with seven players (injuries/sick, etc.). A team that beat us at home in double-overtime a month ago beat us by 10 this time around. We played hard and were always in the game. And even though I was proud of our team, all I really wanted was to be home after the game. We had the varsity game and a 45-minute bus ride to get through first.
And last night riding home on the bus I fell into one of those, "I can only imagine" traps. The bus ride was cold and quiet since our varsity team lost (only the second loss in 18 games). I looked back at the kids sprawled out on the undersized bus seats- some sleeping, a few whispering and others staring blankly while reflections from passing headlights scanned their winter hats and gym bags stacked in the seats. It was a two-second thought that drifted in and out of my head quickly . . . "Eventually that will be Kavaun" on that bus or on that stage or writing that college application essay.
Crazy.
I know. I know. There are a million things before that, but all I keep hearing from you is that it goes fast. You must say it for a good reason. I get it. I believe you. For two seconds last night, I imagined it. That was enough.
I am heeding the advice to enjoy it all because I believe what I keep hearing. It may go by fast, but we remain very aware of the now. I hope we can keep up or at least slow the pace down so it is not all a blur.
# # #
These moments are too enjoyable to wish ahead or look back right now. My personal satisfaction has never been more real and never before has my fulfillment been linked so closely to how I feel rather than what I am accomplishing. I have to give Beata props for how supportive she has been of my coaching. The addition of 16-20 hours on the work week for me to coach boys she does not even know is a big sacrifice that falls on both of us. She knows how much I love the challenge of building a team and working with young people. It is not uncommon for me to get e-mails from Beata during the workday with funny little jokes or pictures of Kavaun. Inside I laugh at the fact that she is impressed by how well I have managed all of it. She has not made the connection that she keeps my spirits up and helps me keep a good attitude. She also seems to miss the fact that she is also doing a lot of juggling of her own and she pulls it off with less sleep and more work demands than me.
Beata and I were talking about how easy it is to look back or look forward, but just living in the moment is a regular challenge in life. It's great when something forces us back to that moment-by-moment existence. Things like cheering Kavaun when he tries to roll over (first time this week!) or rocking him to sleep are the little joys that put us in the moment. Beyond experiencing the moments, writing helps me stop and appreciate all of this on real and honest terms.
# # #
Our season ends in one week. I look forward to getting some time back. I am also proud that we made it work - both for me personally with Beata and Kavaun and my team. With Beata, it has meant scheduling our child care needs with Tonya, babysitters to fil the gaps and then aligning her unpredictable work demands with our game schedule. There is a laundry list of people who have stepped up including my mom most of all. Add to that a few students babysitting, Beth Adams (wife of a fellow coach) and of course Tonya who is very organized as well.
For my teamm, with the constant changes we have had this season - including 7 of nine players being freshmen on JV, two season-ending injuries in the first month and 6 different starting line-ups because of players missing games, etc. - they have maintained an attitude and spirit that has kept my teaching and coaching fun and in perspective.
By the time I post another blog, our season will probably be over and it will be my turn to carry a more of the weight at home. Kudos to Beata - mother and wife extraordinaire.
- N
February 24, 2009


02/08/09 February 8, 2009 (Technically it is early morning Monday February 9)
This weekend was a complete recharge weekend. Thank God.
Without the help of KK once again, I am not sure how we would have pulled it all together. Beyond all of the help she gives us and the bond she continues to build with Kavaun, we appreciate how flexible she is with her time and willingness to help out at a moments notice. Usually by Wednesday or Thursday we are zombies at home and we just push through to the weekend. Fortunately, this week KK came a day earlier to help out.
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We continued our Sunday tradition of breakfast together as a family at our favorite local diner. We figure we have a few more months to enjoy this regular tradition before we take a couple years off and re-start it again. Staying with tradition, we had our Internet chat with Beata’s family in Oregon this afternoon. Technology is helping us bridge that gap the best we can. We cannot wait to see them for Spring Break.
… and as I sit here trying to hang on to the last minutes of a perfectly ordinary and wonderful weekend, Kavaun is sleeping peacefully in his crib and Beata is in bed. I still cannot fall asleep. Not a chance I will be asleep before 1:30 a.m.
I figure blogging will tire me to the point of actually falling asleep. Hopefully I will find a point to my rambling, but do not count on that. By the way the song, “Then came you” by the Spinners (1974) is on right now and even though the lyrics are very simple, it could make my next Kavaun highlight video.
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Kavaun is in a really fun stage. We are able to get him giggling and cooing. He is kicking his little feet quite a bit and he loves playing the games we make up. Today, he did the Humpty Dance with me (Digital Underground) in the dining room. Well kinda. I sang to him, he kicked and giggled and then I held him while I did my version of the Humpty Dance - “shakin my leg like it was broken” (over-40 crowd may miss the lyrical reference there).
There is nothing quite as fulfilling as simply enjoying Kavaun’s company – his giggles, his expressions and his looks. We are still in awe of the overwhelming love and happiness we feel in our new life. Yes, we are tired and sure, there are challenges, but I am not sugar-coating the way we feel. We feel so lucky.
I figured something would come to me if I just started typing, but no luck.
Time to try to fall asleep – a problem I only seem to find on Sundays or in the summer . . .
N


02/03/09 February 3, 2009
Title: Whiplash
Note: Beata posted a blog entry the other day. Check it out.
A seismic shift in my perspective about how I see myself started one year ago. It was on Super Bowl Sunday when Beata told me she was pregnant that I began to see myself in a different light. Note that I said the shift BEGAN a year ago because it certainly did not happen swiftly. In fact, everything was very gradual until Kavaun was born. Once we got about four weeks into this new life, I discovered a new me. Right away after Kavaun was born it took a little time to get my head and heart around what was happening. How I see myself changes and my ideas about myself continue to grow in some very obvious and also some very subtle ways. I am sure my perspective will keep changing.
I think what I am most surprised by is the true joy I get from being a dad. I knew I would like it and would love my child, but there’s a part of this whole thing that I cannot put my finger on, that still seems incomprehensible. There’s not even a good word or phrase to describe it. It’s more than being giddy and greater than love. There’s this little extra hop in my step. This new energy. This temporary inattentiveness about the fragility of everything. I am so happy right now, but still grounded. Care-free, but paying attention.
I don’t know. I guess I am just . . . just . . . happy. Proud. Aware.
It’s why Beata’s car stuck in our own driveway up against a small snow bank this morning doesn’t even faze me (even though the neighbors must surely notice mine is the only driveway where the pavement is not visible). It is part of the explanation as to why the basketball team I am coaching continues to struggle with only four wins in thirteen tries and even in the middle of it, I know where it fits in life. And it is why I leave my bag at school and don’t even bother tempting myself with the nonsense of work from home.
I guess some of these things were predictable.
What was not predictable to me was how this experience would change how I think and even how I act. I had a woman stop me in aisle ten at the grocery store a few weeks ago. After I crossed paths with her a few times, she went out of her way to tell me that I was a happy father beaming with pride and she couldn’t help but notice the satisfaction evident in my smile. That made me feel good.
Another part of the journey I anticipated was seeing Beata in a new light as mom. The degree to how much more my admiration for Beata has grown has surprised me though. And I do not think experiencing Beata as mother was necessary for me to see these qualities in her – I just think her being a mother sped everything up and opened my eyes faster. The sound of Beata’s voice alone makes Kavaun smile. Me too – especially when I hear her making up songs and talking him through diaper changes.
Today is the second time in as many weeks that I stayed home from school with Kavaun. Last week it was because our regular care-provider Tonya was on vacation and today Tonya was sick at home. I would love a four day work week. In my profession it is all or nothing though. From mid-June to mid-August it’s a zero-day work week and that isn’t so bad either. I think we will have a fun summer going for walks and scenic drives to take pictures, visiting Beata at work and play dates. I can see myself strapping Kavaun on my back to mow the lawn (ear plugs of course) or laying him in the shade on a blanket while I water the plants outside, etc. I am sure we will be staying the night in Ionia a few times and getting valuable time with the cousins too.
In general though, I spend more time looking forward than I ever used to. And I spend more time looking back than I ever used to. And, oddly enough I spend more time not looking anywhere and just living the moment than I ever used to. Whiplash.
My capacity to “look” has changed.
I always thought I had a relatively short attention span, but now every once in a while I catch myself watching Kavaun swing in his chair or sleep for minutes on end. Now I realize I am not afflicted with a short attention span. It has nothing to do with “short” and everything to do with what I did not have in my life before to pay attention to…
N


01/26/09 January 26, 2009
Dear Kavaun,
This week we managed three nights in which you slept at least a total of seven hours and on one of the nights it was seven CONSECUTIVE hours. Your mother still woke up every couple hours to check on you, but I slept soundly through the night grateful that you like your crib and nursery.
You also got one of your last baby shots at Dr. Sherman's office on Thursday. And boy, you screamed so loud my ears are still ringing. The nurses who administered the shot were impressed and surprised by your unusual strength. They commented a few times on the strength of your legs. I think you probably are strong, but I also think you have a temper and that strong personality adds to your aura. I predict this "temper business" will be one of our constant challenges. Maybe not though. Maybe I am off on my assessment or you will grow out of it and be mild mannered and gentle like your mom. I wouldn't bet on that though.
There is no question you have your grandfather's intensity. We see your Grandpa Mostafavi in your eyes. You will tackle life with that intensity and stick-to-itiveness and we hope you also inherit your grandpa's wit and sense of humor.
You smile often these days- especially when mommy talks to you or I play games with you. Your smile packs so much power for us. It is pretty incredible how happy your smile can make us and put life in slow motion as we appreciate all of this. These days, we really like slow-motion.
You drool quite a bit and you love being held, walked around and rocked. And as many of the parents reading this can testify from their own experience - when you snuggle your head up against my cheek and rest on my shoulder with your arms clinching tightly to my neck and chest, I love that. I love it so much that we always end up in the bathroom so I can see your face in the large mirror to complete the experience.
Your mom and I are soaking this up but I have to admit that we already think you are growing up way too fast. You are our masterpiece - our most rewarding love in life.
- Dad


01/19/09 January 19, 2009 2:35 a.m.
Dear Kavaun,
You are supposed to be sleeping.
I am supposed to be annoyed.
But for the last three hours, I have bounced between this blog, rocking you back to sleep and watching a barrage of replays of Barack Obama speeches alongside TV spots advertising coverage of inauguration day.
Maybe I am feeling a bit nostalgic because it is almost 3 a.m. and I have been rocking you and walking you around the house while you smile and carry on like it is 5 p.m. – all the while our next president is all over the TV. Holding you in my arms while watching history unfold is a pretty remarkable feeling. I feel like an actor in my own 16mm home video expereincing all of this with you and trying to be aware of the magnitude of what is not only happening in our own lives, but in the country as a whole. It is hard to describe exactly why, but even though you will never remember, for me we are sharing a moment. A moment linked in part by the fact that you will someday read about the election of Barack Obama. It may all blur together for me, but all of the election news coverage we have watched together, the debates, Election Day and now the upcoming Inauguration – it is all part of your first days with us. I even recorded you and mom watching the election results come in and you were both sleeping. Somehow we shared that too.
This is an exciting time.
And no matter how many times I have seen it (at least a dozen times to date), Obama’s speech at Grant Park in Chicago on the night of his victory gives me the chills. I imagine there will be a time when you and I watch that speech together and discuss the significance of the 2008 election. Maybe you will get the chills too. There are several other Obama speeches I will want you to see – the Philadelphia race speech, Denver acceptance speech and the 2004 convention speech come to mind right away.
We are living what you will read about in your American History or American Government class more than a decade from now. It is cool holding you in my arms and knowing that fact. Maybe I will recount for you my recollection of you as a baby during these significant events? (This blog may help me in that area). And I wish I could capture here for you, all of the hope, promise and enthusiasm that surrounds Washington DC, our country, the entire world, but I am afraid that is too hefty of a task for me alone. Let me assure you that the passion and energy President-elect Obama has garnered is not the ordinary political excitement that comes around every four years. As far as I can tell, this is the sort of thing that happens once – maybe twice - in a lifetime.
I am too tired to be writing any more.
Love, Dad


01/19/09 New Pictures are posted on my facebook account. I will likely move some of them over to this blog eventually.


01/11/09 January 11, 2009
Title: Survival of the fittest … and the rested
“Haunted by Water”, “Chasing Sunrise” and “Temple of the Sun” are parts of our New Age world-positive play list of music when we need to “hypnotize” baby Kavaun. Among our many discoveries, we found that the flutes, harps and violins on the Soundscapes TV/Radio channel calm Kavaun.
So while I type away from our makeshift Native American Museum, Kavaun is swinging into a hypnotic deep sleep. He has recently discovered that his hands belong to him and that he can move them and suck on them for fun. Currently, Kavaun is watching as he pushes his feet together and wiggles his toes. He rubs his eyes and his big yawns now have more sound effects.
We like to watch him.
***
Last night we went to a friend’s house and Kavaun was joined by three other babies – all within one month in age. (Pictures are on Facebook) I was thinking to myself that I was now part of the room full of adults completely captivated by babies doing nothing except sitting, drooling and occasionally smiling or crying. But mostly nothing. I am okay with that.
Last week was interesting around here. Overall, we have a happy well-adjusted little man, but last week he did not sleep a whole lot. Not even Soundscapes could rescue us. This entry is probably a result of some of the sleep deprivation; however KK saved the day Thursday and Friday. We came home from work with a meal all ready for us, a few loads of laundry done and KK’s master swaddling technique helped Kavaun fall asleep at 6 p.m. Friday. We slept from 6:30 p.m. until 6 a.m. Saturday with only a few interruptions. We needed that.
***
Back to play by play.
Right now Kavaun is fighting the sleepy feeling that “Visions and Voices” brings to the surface. It is Kavaun vs. Scatterbone the musician. In the end, I hope Scatterbone wins and Kavaun sleeps through a few dozen of these random nature songs that are designed for man to tap into his “inner being” (whatever that means). This song is perfect for a sleeping baby. C’mon Kavaun just give in!
… his eyes drift slowly shut . . . for two seconds then quickly open. Smiling, drifting off, and fighting. This pattern is repeating, each time he closes his eyes for just a little bit longer. Now it is up to four or five seconds of shut-eye.
He is really fighting. Gravity and Scatterbone are now teaming up against Kavaun. The swing is on the fight too. Kavaun is way over-matched. But, genetically he has been hard-wired to fight, to never give in, to not miss out…stubborn and determined, he fights.
Gravity is tugging Kavaun’s head to the right . . .eyes opening and shutting very slowly like a butterfly warming up to take flight…gravity pulling his head the left now…
He just can’t keep this up much longer.
Acoustic Garden is now playing – eyes can no longer fight. Acoustic Garden is just too much for the K-man. He gently gives way.
Kavaun’s shallow breaths can be heard somewhere between a flute and a guitar. He is out. Now it is up to “Wind in the Trees” from the Spirit Wind soundtrack to seal the deal. I am confident Kavaun is channeling his “inner being” through a dream-state.
His mouth chewing on air, Kavaun is out cold. The piano melody from ‘We are One” makes waking up an impossibility for the moment.
I need to take this time to thank Scatterbone, Enya, Hiko and all the other Soundscape artists for helping us today.
I think this entry is proof that I need a nap too.
Good night (Sunday 1:30 p.m.)
.


01/03/09 January 3, 2009
I guess there is no better time than now to squeeze in 10-30 minutes for a blog entry. Kavaun is swinging to sleep in his chair. Beata is fast asleep in bed. Baby Einstein is keeping me company in the background. The mix of classical music, bright changing pictures and very odd puppet characters is probably a good introduction to my new entertainment life. At my brother Ryan’s house I have seen Dora, Diego and some grown men called the Wiggles (I think that is the correct name) performing in front of ships with styrofoam trees and puppets.
Kavaun is sleeping while I watch an orange and pink zebra do the Macarena on the beach. Something is wrong with this picture, but so right at the same time I suppose. My laptop, coffee and a fire in the fireplace, this has become the perfect Saturday morning – even at 6:10 a.m.
The last week has been great. Beata had the week off along with me so we got to spend it together with Kavaun. It is so much more enjoyable and easier when we get to spend time with him together. For one thing, we get more sleep and while he sleeps we get to actually catch up with one another or just chill out – whatever we choose.
Kavaun has been out quite a bit this week. I took him to a varsity basketball scrimmage, we went to a girls varsity ball game in Flint to see a friend coach (the crowd of 1,500 and a close game mesmerized him), we went to a “kids-welcome” New Year’s Eve gathering at a friends house with him (we made it to 11:30 p.m. at least), Kavaun went to Cousin Sarah’s for the MSU bowl game on Jan. 1 and he went post-Christmas shopping with us yesterday for quite a long day – so long in fact that when he fell asleep on the way home at 9:30, he slept until 5 a.m. in his car seat. A record!
Kavaun is super cute right now. He is smiling often and interacting with us. He can be distracted when we go that route, but the best part so far is that he recognizes our voices and often responds. There is a great reward in being able to pick him up and calm him if he has been crying. On the other end of that is the helpless feeling that goes with not being able to calm him sometimes too, when his cries are loud and dramatic.
Being a dad is pretty fun business. Beata asked me yesterday if it is anything like I thought it would be or if I am the type of dad I thought I would be. Not sure anyone can comprehend what it will be like before experiencing fatherhood, but as for the type of dad I am, I am not sure how I would classify my “type”. I do absolutely love it though. I love this age and everyone tells me that as each phase ends, we will be ready to enjoy the next phase. I can not imagine another phase in his life quite as enjoyable as right now though. I guess it will be pretty cool when he reaches out for a kiss or calls for us or any of the other number of firsts we will get to share down the road. But I love this phase more than I would have predicted since I have never been much of a baby guy. (Side note: my cousin Jeff used to make fun of me because on the few occasions I actually held a baby, I would always pretend it was my very first time. I am sure his account is accurate, but regardless it was one of the most unnatural awkward feelings to hold a baby. Now I do the same thing to my cousin John and give him Kavaun to hold when I know he hates it. I like to watch him squirm.)
Christmas was awesome. Kavaun had an entire roomful of gifts. Of course, I took some pictures of him being swallowed up by all the gifts and wrapping paper. We showed some restrain and got him books and one Elmo toy. We had a great Christmas – a lot of it captured on video and with photos. In fact, some of the people reading have seen the pictures I took of Kavaun surrounded by ribbons and bows wearing his Santa hat. I took some video from a tri-pod while I shot those pictures and even I feel kind of bad now. That poor boy just sat there confused while I snapped away. Actually, he was fine, but in 12 years he may have something to say about my embarrassing cute pictures of him.
Other observations since he is slowly waking up to eat and I have to go:
I am more aware of sounds now. Like when Kavaun’s pacifier drops from his mouth – the subtle clink-clink-clink sound lets me know he is either sleeping or not cooperating. Either way, I think I could pick that sound up even in Spartan Stadium on a big third down play. I am tuned in.
While we hate to see our little guy stuffed up, his little snores are cute when he naps.
We love his yawns and stretches.
When Kavaun loses his pacifier because of uncontrollable smiling, it makes me laugh. I also enjoy when he coos really loud and gets his feet riding the “imaginary bicycle” when he is excited.
And on the changing table, you have never seen a happier baby. For us the changing table is not solely for a diaper change, we use it for maybe just an attitude or mood change once in a while too. I know Beata will make fun of me for that line, but it is true.
And to top everything off, there’s nothing quite like catching a smile while he sleeps.
More later, N
December 20, 2008
Well, I have slipped into a habit of writing very short blog entries and then not posting them. Today is different. First off, it is a snow day – the most celebrated of all days for America’s youth and the thousands of teachers who enjoy snow days every winter.
I was given the directive from my athletic director that there would not be any practices today so that leaves me here at home – nice and cozy with Kavaun and my mom, who comes every Thursday afternoon to help out through Saturday.
Kavaun and I slept on the floor while Beata got ready for work this morning. We did his normal feeding, napping, diaper change things and then we managed to squeeze in a little ESPN and some news. Kavaun is a fan of snow days. If it is possible, I want to have snow day traditions with the K-man. Maybe we would go meet Beata for lunch on snow days, make a snow man, or even go out to breakfast. As long as I teach, these unplanned days off could make for great memories. Sledding. Hot cocoa. Snow forts. Shoveling driveways for the elderly (okay, that was a shameless attempt to make myself appear more thoughtful than I really am).
Other ideas I have been batting around in regard to simple traditions are listed below. I have already shared some of these, I am not sure.
Play hooky and go to a Tigers baseball day game in May with Kavaun and a couple of his buddies. If we can pull this off beginning at age 7 or 8 and make it an annual event, that would give us a decade or more of a tradition of skipping school. I need to get him to at least one MSU football game per season as well.
While on a summer time run, I saw a family enjoying a movie projected on to a sheet hanging from a clothesline. I think that would be a cool way to celebrate the end of the school year – watch a movie in the yard – get popcorn, candy and pop, etc. and load up on bug spray.
Our friend Renee gave us a little tiny pumpkin with Kavaun’s name on it and we plan to take a picture of him with the pumpkin every fall. Right now that pumpkin is almost the size of Kavaun’s little melon. I am guessing in 15 or 16 years, it will look like an apple in his hands. I think the pictures will be cool if they are displayed together.
There are a few school nights I hope to let Kavaun stay up late every year if he wants to: The NCAA basketball championship game and the Super Bowl top the list. I think it is safe to throw in a good game seven World Series contest if we should be so lucky.
We will need to commemorate the Persian New Year with our own little twist on it. I am not sure what that is yet. Beata’s family celebrates the Persian New Year and does a big show on My Iran to honor the day and celebrate. We will have to come up with some fun ideas. When he is old enough, I would like for Kavaun to see some of the Persian New Year shows.
Within the next couple years we hope to get copies of the children’s program from My Iran that Beata and Sara hosted. I can’t think of a better way for Kavaun to learn more about Persian culture than seeing his mom as a little girl hosting the show. I hope that we can be as creative with Kavaun as Beata’s parents were with her when it comes to Persian traditions.
We will continue to cut down our Christmas tree at a tree farm, eat gingerbread cookies and drink hot cocoa as part of the day. And the autumn trip to the orchard will be around for years to come.
Things I am enjoying about fatherhood:
Coming home from work is much different now. On an everyday basis, I am able to leave everything from my day at the door. This is a positive thing in general, but has made for some rather lame conversation when Beata asks about my day. For the most part, my days are very fulfilling, but I don’t have much to say about work right now I guess.
I enjoy the three days a week when I come home around 3 p.m. and have 2 ½ hours with Kavaun before Beata gets home and I go back to school for practice. We seem to be falling into a routine. Tonya passes him off to me. We usually play and “talk” until his feeding around 4 p.m. At that time, I normally put Kavaun in the bjorn and we make dinner. I have to move around a lot since he is not a fan of sitting still for too long. By the time I juggle Kavaun with making dinner, my own snacking and catching the news, Beata gets home and then I leave for practice.
Rocking in the rocking chair - I think we will continue having a rocking chair after the baby phase. It’s just a nice simple way to relax.
After I get ready to leave for work or 6 a.m. shoot-around, I head upstairs and on most days, Kavaun is in Beata’s arms as she is sitting up asleep. While Beata may not feel so great at the time, the everyday scene is etched into my memory because they look so peaceful. With the nightlight casting dim shadows, Beata and Kavaun rest and I hurry to get the work day started.
I can not seem to string together more than ten minutes to put this together.
More later, Nick


12/24/08 December 24, 2008
(Just before packing up to go to Ionia and see family)
Title: A daddy’s simple wish list to his son for the New Year
… to stay aware of the little reminders of the joy that is you – reminders like waking up in the middle of the night to fnd your pacifier in our bed or tripping over your boppy at night
… more smiles
… for you to kiss back and reach for a hug
… that your mom and I stay in the moment with you . . . and each other
… more photos of you smiling and showing expression
… continued progress on the whole sleep thing. Keep it up buddy
… more trips to the grocery store with you (one of my favorite things to do with you)
… new games. Tall-man Falling is cool, but we need new games that have less spit-up risk
… crawling, walking, maybe running
… for you to see your grandparents and aunts and uncles more often
… more time to blog
Of course there’s more, but my 10-minute window is up now, N


12/20/08 December 20, 2008
Well, I have slipped into a habit of writing very short blog entries and then not posting them. Today is different. First off, it is a snow day – the most celebrated of all days for America’s youth and the thousands of teachers who enjoy snow days every winter.
I was given the directive from my athletic director that there would not be any practices today so that leaves me here at home – nice and cozy with Kavaun and my mom, who comes every Thursday afternoon to help out through Saturday.
Kavaun and I slept on the floor while Beata got ready for work this morning. We did his normal feeding, napping, diaper change things and then we managed to squeeze in a little ESPN and some news. Kavaun is a fan of snow days. If it is possible, I want to have snow day traditions with the K-man. Maybe we would go meet Beata for lunch on snow days, make a snow man, or even go out to breakfast. As long as I teach, these unplanned days off could make for great memories. Sledding. Hot cocoa. Snow forts. Shoveling driveways for the elderly (okay, that was a shameless attempt to make myself appear more thoughtful than I really am).
Other ideas I have been batting around in regard to simple traditions are listed below. I have already shared some of these, I am not sure.
Play hooky and go to a Tigers baseball day game in May with Kavaun and a couple of his buddies. If we can pull this off beginning at age 7 or 8 and make it an annual event, that would give us a decade or more of a tradition of skipping school. I need to get him to at least one MSU football game per season as well.
While on a summer time run, I saw a family enjoying a movie projected on to a sheet hanging from a clothesline. I think that would be a cool way to celebrate the end of the school year – watch a movie in the yard – get popcorn, candy and pop, etc. and load up on bug spray.
Our friend Renee gave us a little tiny pumpkin with Kavaun’s name on it and we plan to take a picture of him with the pumpkin every fall. Right now that pumpkin is almost the size of Kavaun’s little melon. I am guessing in 15 or 16 years, it will look like an apple in his hands. I think the pictures will be cool if they are displayed together.
There are a few school nights I hope to let Kavaun stay up late every year if he wants to: The NCAA basketball championship game and the Super Bowl top the list. I think it is safe to throw in a good game seven World Series contest if we should be so lucky.
We will need to commemorate the Persian New Year with our own little twist on it. I am not sure what that is yet. Beata’s family celebrates the Persian New Year and does a big show on My Iran to honor the day and celebrate. We will have to come up with some fun ideas. When he is old enough, I would like for Kavaun to see some of the Persian New Year shows.
Within the next couple years we hope to get copies of the children’s program from My Iran that Beata and Sara hosted. I can’t think of a better way for Kavaun to learn more about Persian culture than seeing his mom as a little girl hosting the show. I hope that we can be as creative with Kavaun as Beata’s parents were with her when it comes to Persian traditions.
We will continue to cut down our Christmas tree at a tree farm, eat gingerbread cookies and drink hot cocoa as part of the day. And the autumn trip to the orchard will be around for years to come.
Things I am enjoying about fatherhood:
Coming home from work is much different now. On an everyday basis, I am able to leave everything from my day at the door. This is a positive thing in general, but has made for some rather lame conversation when Beata asks about my day. For the most part, my days are very fulfilling, but I don’t have much to say about work right now I guess.
I enjoy the three days a week when I come home around 3 p.m. and have 2 ½ hours with Kavaun before Beata gets home and I go back to school for practice. We seem to be falling into a routine. Tonya passes him off to me. We usually play and “talk” until his feeding around 4 p.m. At that time, I normally put Kavaun in the bjorn and we make dinner. I have to move around a lot since he is not a fan of sitting still for too long. By the time I juggle Kavaun with making dinner, my own snacking and catching the news, Beata gets home and then I leave for practice.
Rocking in the rocking chair - I think we will continue having a rocking chair after the baby phase. It’s just a nice simple way to relax.
After I get ready to leave for work or 6 a.m. shoot-around, I head upstairs and on most days, Kavaun is in Beata’s arms as she is sitting up asleep. While Beata may not feel so great at the time, the everyday scene is etched into my memory because they look so peaceful. With the nightlight casting dim shadows, Beata and Kavaun rest and I hurry to get the work day started.
I can not seem to string together more than ten minutes to put this together.
More later, Nick


12/18/08 The post beliow is actually by Beata, but she did not intend for it to be on the blog. I did let he know I would post it though. It is a bit graphic and maybe too descriptive for our blog following...
So, at 8:45 this morning I got an e-mail from Beata that read, "What happened to the baby that didn't poop for three days?" A big question in our house these days.
Her third person response to my, "What?" is below.
From Beata:
Well first he woke up with a look of glee and stinky stench.‘Finally,’ his mama thought, ‘it has finally happened.’
She had barely peeled off one side of the tape when squirts of poop burst across his belly button. She knew this was going to be serious.
She lifted the rest of the diaper off expecting a mustard mess. Instead, she met the beast.
Inside was a swamp so thick that “the jewels” were no where to be found ... oh and this thing definitely had odor. She smiled, thinking about how good that must have felt. Right as she had cleaned up, something unexpected happened, IT KEPT COMING.
It was the Poop Blob! A mud-thick gushing sea oozed all over the blanket, pajamas, changing table and mama. She watched with a mix of awe and horror. This was the kind of thing she thought only happened in the movies. It kept coming and coming and coming like a slurpee machine gone amuck.
After an emergency morning bath, load of laundry and some giggles, the baby fell asleep all on his own. That was exhausting.
So I'm sad to say, our little boy is growing up.


12/08/08 12/08/08
Title: Transitions
A rough morning at 740 Second Street turned out just fine.
Beata went back to work today and we were dealing with a fussy little guy late into the night and into the early morning. We were both naively hopeful Kavaun would just swing himself back to sleep while we got ready this morning. Eventually he did sit in his swing for a little bit, but not without our pleading.
Sleep deprivation is a crazy thing. Our normal has changed dramatically and it's just the way it will always be according to all of the parents out there who keep asking with their little smirks, "Is he sleeping through the night yet?" No complaints here, just an adjustment.
It seems that even though December 8 has been circled on our calendar since October, it arrived without much warning. Beata has been off work for ten weeks and has worked harder than at any other time in her life. We both have a newfound appreciation for any person who stays home to raise their children. It is fulfilling, but it is definitely work.
So, today it was out into the Michigan winter and off to the Flint Journal for Beata to get back into the swing of things on her beat. She is a valuable and talented reporter and I know that her editor and colleagues are happy for her return. Beata is concerned about the lack of flexibility her profession affords and I have to be ready to pick up the slack. I have three high school students on speed dial for emergency babysitting at the FHS gym should the need arise during a practice time or game day.
Early this morning while Kavaun was whimpering and wiggling in Beata's arms, I insisted that she pass him off to me so I could rock him back to sleep. I had to try hard to keep it together because I could tell how difficult this transition is for Beata. She has spent so much time holding, singing, hugging, kissing, reading, swaddling and talking to our little guy. They have an incredible connection. We are both just amazed at how far our capacity to love continues to stretch as Kavaun changes and grows. Just after Beata gave Kavaun to me this morning, I had one of those moments where time stood still for a minute.
When I nestled Kavaun up against my chest and rested my chin on his soft forehead, I noticed his hair was wet from Beata's tears. As Kavaun settled in to fall asleep, I realized that this was one of those very subtle moments I would probably always remember.
Then I called in to school to let them know I would be 30 minutes late today. There was no way I was going to miss out.
For Beata, I know leaving him home today ranks up there with those dreary airport departures from Portland. The positive in this is that we are starting a new adventure and because Beata is so insistent and determined to make the most of it and "not just get by" (when we can help it), I feel like we continue to remain aware of our good fortune to have Tonya coming to our house and the fact that we have so much support from our family and friends. It is hard to write this now because I know that everything is and will be fine, but missing someone is a hard thing to just get used to and I know this is difficult for Beata.
Last night while looking through the hundreds of pictures we have taken of the K-man, Beata made the comment that she thinks we will be really happy raising him. I think Kavaun will be pretty happy too as he begins to understand what his dad already knows: his mom is the glue of our family. She selflessly sacrifices her own needs and desires to make it work and she always seems to come through with a smile. Remarkable.
So, here are to Beata and all the Super-Moms out there - thanks.
Nick 12/08/08


11/30/08 A few things to say today before I post ten new photos:
Kavaun said his first word about two weeks ago and I can not believe I did not report it here for our loyal blog followers (sarcasm). He said, “Agoo” pronounced “ah – gooo” with emphasis on the “ghoo” part. Alright, I know I am that cheesy dad acting as though I am the first man to be so excited about his baby. So, as I bask in the glory of fatherhood, think back to your own excitement of the very first coos and agoos you heard from your own baby or a baby you know. Fun stuff. In fact, everyone has been telling me how fast they grow up and while I definitely believe it, I can’t imagine I will ever be ready for it to happen at the pace which it will happen.
MORE TALK: I try hard not to do all that baby talk stuff when we have our conversations in public, but it is tough to do once we get him smiling, laughing and cooing at our funny noises and weird expressions. When I get Kavaun in a calm setting or in the grocery cart we have conversations that are less playful. I just talk to talk. So far, he knows about my fire safety accident in first grade (13 stitches inside my mouth), how his Uncle Ryan used to trick me into giving him my money and running to Grab-n-Git for Coke and how I beat up Cousin Jeff on our Hilton Head Island vacation in 1988 (Mike, please remind Jeff of this incident) . Of course, he knows about Grandpa and Grandma Balice (the Tiger in the closet and the sonar hearing ability grandma had when it came to the candy drawer), the Ionia Free Fair and how my mom made me eat liver when I was a boy, forcing me to vomit (no Kavaun, I would never do such a thing to you!). This list includes, but is not limited to Great Uncle Dan tickling and traumatizing us, Dougan the wonder dog, his grandma KK’s canon for an arm in softball, the family vacation from hell to Florida in the Escort, sleeping in our school clothes and the bed in the living room during a wobbly phase at 518 King Street. You can imagine the rest.
Beata’s sister Sara not only has an amazing eye for photography (see some of the new photos on this site or on Beata’s facebook page), she also has an uncanny sense of predicting Kavaun’s smiles and capturing them for us to enjoy. Thank you Sara.
We researched Kavaun’s name on the Web. I have always thought it was simply Persian for prince, but apparently there are other meanings out there with different origins. Our spelling is quite unique, but from what we can tell there is Irish origin to the name Kavaun as well. Naturally, it means handsome. Kavaun Balice Gregory the name has some Irish roots we were not even aware of and the news will be welcomed by the Gregory’s I am sure.
I go back to Michigan Monday morning. I am excited to get back to my basketball team and the classroom, but I will miss Beata and Kavaun until they get home late Wednesday night. Beata will have the stroller, car seat, her luggage and Kavaun to manage on her own while getting through airport security. Ugh. At least the TSA security checks are handled by friendly well trained customer service oriented people (major sarcasm with that one!) . . . she may have to bust into Mama Bear mode on some unsuspecting incompetent airline worker . . . uh-oh. Say a prayer for the worker who looks at Beata in her bare feet while going through security and tells her she has to throw away the formula since it could be an explosive. That dude hasn’t seen explosive yet! (Okay, I exaggerate AGAIN – Beata is still the sweetheart all of you know her as…)
Alright, picking ten pictures to post is a lot harder than you would think, so I better get to it.
Nick 11/30/08


11/28/08 November 28, 2008
Kavaun is pretty happy out here with so many people who want to hold him and walk him around. This morning Beata and her sister Sara sang songs to him, only to be interrupted by their own laughter. I think they forgot I was in the room. It was like they picked up right where they left off in 1994 or whenever it was they used to sing songs together. I have never been around two people who seem to enjoy one another’s company so genuinely.
Before that, the four of us and Beata’s dad all hung out in the living room – talking and watching Kavaun nap in his swing. I jokingly call her father the King (something they call him for fun) and he was in heaven with his girls and his first grandchild all in the same place together. In his perfect world, days like today would happen every day or at least once a week minimum. Last night Beata’s aunt joined us for my first Persian Thanksgiving. Beata’s mom made a great meal and held kavaun at the table while we enjoyed the food she prepared.
This trip to Portland has given me another glimpse into Beata’s childhood. Her parents were telling stories last night about how they would pick Beata up from her crib if she made even the slightest noise. I listened with a smile as they talked about raising their girls and while they never make mention of it, I realize that they were pretty much on their own to figure it out. There was not a lot of help. I can not imagine how exhausting that must have been. And like Beata, when you talk to her parents they are so focused on all of the positives that one would never really know there were struggles. They seem to only remember the good times. And the challenges get pushed aside with a funny joke or smiling sigh.
Apparently Beata was a very fussy baby. Very fussy. She refused a pacifier. She often had to be driven to sleep. It sounds like she ruled the house. And of course, she was cute, fun and very imaginative and independent as a toddler. She loved puzzles according to her mom. And all of the way up through junior high, she and her mom read books together – Sweet Valley High if I am not mistaken. And with the My Iran TV show, lots of time was spent learning more Farsi with her dad and mom since Beata was part of the on-air cast. Throw in the trips to the park to feed the ducks with her dad and the all the time she spent with her grandmother as a little girl, Beata’s world was complete.
It seems like each time we come out to Oregon I am able to figure out a little bit more why the Beata I married three years ago is who she is. Her parents are so proud and selfless. Her family is expressive. And when I am with Kavaun and I try to imagine what he will be like as a little boy and then who he will be eventually as he grows up, I think about all the pieces of us in him. His Aunt Sara, Beata’s parents and grandparents, my brother, parents, grandparents and extended family. That’s a lot of “personality” for one little guy.
It begs the question – why don’t we get to pick how much of each part we want to include? Fortunately, I see a lot of the strengths of my own family in Beata so I feel like it will all work out fine for Kavaun. I can imagine that while reading this my own family members are trying to figure out what qualities they have that I can also see in Beata. I will give you a few:
1. Beata values family and time with family. This is very similar to the Balices. Without each other, we would be empty. My family defines so much of who I am and I would guess that when you get right down to the heart of it, my cousins, aunts and uncle would have a similar feeling. Beata’s family (including me and Kavaun now) and their family history is the most important thing in her life. Being Tony and June’s grandson and KK’s son is a big part of my identity. Whether it was osmosis, intentional or unintentional parenting strategies (more likely that they were survival strategies) – how I see myself is through a lens which includes their best qualities – the ones I wanted to inherit. Maybe in 30 years the same will be true for Kavaun with all of us.
2. Beata is compassionate and caring. While I can not imagine Beata making Kavaun escort blind people around a festival as a teenage boy like my mom did to me and Ryan, I can see us incorporating some traditions into our lives to show Kavaun that helping others is just what we do. I have always appreciated that the kind acts my mother showed us were done simply to be kind and not for attention. Beata is also like that.
3. Beata holds pretty strong opinions and she has a little bit of that Balice fire to go with those opinions. She does not show the fire too often, but when she is feeling it, I would confidently put her in a room with anyone of my sometimes “feisty” family members to hold her own. In a way it reminds me of the way I viewed Grandpa Tony – gentle and loving, but then every once in a while I over heard him through the den door challenging my mom. He knew how to get his point across and quite often he could see the big picture much clearer from his vantage point. Grandpa had that fire and that way with people that I have always admired and fortunately I found those same qualities in Beata.
As you can see by these two blog entries on consecutive days, I am enjoying this trip. I feel like we left our lives in Michigan behind for a true vacation. Time to relax, eat great home cooking, see family, read, write and drink lots of coffee.
Thanks for tuning in, Nick 11/28/08


11/27/08 11/27/08 From Portland Oregon
Happy Thanksgiving from the Pacific Northwest.
I miss my family in Ionia. Thanksgiving was my favorite Holiday growing up. My entire family – all of my cousins – cramped into my grandparents house all day. I loved it. I loved the tradition and knowing what was in store for us every year. I loved it from morning until dark – playing, eating, playing some more, talking and interacting. If I had it my way, Thanksgiving would have lasted even longer than the 8 or 9 hours we stretched it out to last.
We want to give Kavaun traditions that he will look back on fondly as I do with Thanksgiving and as memorable as Beata does with Persian New Year. We have several traditions in mind and we have even written down our ideas so we do not forget (to share in another blog perhaps).
***
So let me give you the scoop on our first flight experience with Kavaun. From Flint to Minneapolis, the ride was smooth. We got to use the “hooter hider breast feeding tent” in the airport. It’s a cloth to conceal Kavaun’s favorite food source from public view while he eats. Shortly after Kavaun’s feeding, we showed off our smiling baby in the airport. I walked laps around the tiny Bishop Airport terminal with Kavaun propped over my shoulder. My inward smile grew bigger every time I overheard the older women comment on the cute baby as we passed. I altered my route on subsequent laps just so I could hear more compliments. I have learned how to capitalize on every opportunity our little guy gives us to show him off. When he screams and fusses, I know it is not a reflection of us as parents, it is just life. But when he is happy and cute – apparently I like to believe it is because of something we did to make him so damn happy and cute. I constantly take advantage of his good moods by playing, talking and walking him around. At home, I take him to Target to shop and I stop by my classroom at school at 5 or 6 p.m. just hoping to see people.
Back to the trip here to Oregon.
We were not so lucky in Minneapolis waiting for our connection to Portland. Kavaun had a massive meltdown. This time I shrugged my shoulders and watched people turn away, slightly embarrassed for us and secretly hoping like hell they were not seated next to us on the 3 ½ hour flight. Ugh. I exaggerate about the reactions, but there is no exaggerating the decibel level reached with each scream our little guy belted out protesting the flight. And no matter how much it doesn’t matter and the reality that people understand and get it, we still found ourselves a little bit hurried and anxious trying like mad to calm him.
Needless to say, it all worked out eventually but only after we finally got seated on the plane. As luck would have it, Northwest failed to invite passengers needing assistance to board first so we were at the end of the line with no room for my carry-on luggage and a flight attendant who hated his job and the fact that he was working the Holiday shift. The flight attendant was useless and I feared for his life once Beata went into Mama Bear mode and gave him that look that said, “Listen here buddy – I will rip your head off if you don’t figure out how to help us.”
It got better.
A woman sitting in first class held Kavaun while we tried to get settled in with all of our stuff – diaper bag, blanket, luggage, etc. It was an adventure I guess. Almost four hours later we got to PDX and Beata’s mom and sister greeted us – making the 9 hour travel adventure completely worth it.
***
In other news, Kavaun has now been to the gym twice. I imagine that for the twelve boys on my team – ranging from 14 to 16 years old – they were relieved to see Kavaun at practice since it results in an automatic good mood for their coach. I try to think back to being a high school boy and how much I did not care about babies and all that stuff. And I remember my coach’s having little kids and I never really paid attention. If anything, it annoyed me if they seemed to be having fun while I was running or getting “direct instruction” from my coach. My team probably doesn’t pay much attention either, but I hope to have Kavaun around as much as possible. I do remember with my junior high coach (Steve Walter) in particular thinking that he was scary and intimidating and then I watched him be fun a caring with his little boy around the gym and it confused me. Who was this guy – mean and scary or fun and nice? I never did figure it out until years later I guess.
While I am not an intimidating/mean type of coach (at least I don’t think so), I do maintain high expectations for discipline and once in a while I get after my team for not listening and I condition them vigorously. I think it is probably good for them to see a more humane side of me with Kavaun and Beata. I guess they will just have to be confused like I was. Someday they will get it.
***
We are falling into some fun routines at home with Kavaun. My favorite part of everyday continues to be bath time. Usually around 9 or 9:30 I take a bath with the little guy by candle light and Beata and I get a quiet minute to talk. Most of the talk revolves around Kavaun, but if there are daily items to discuss, it is usually during bath time when we get to it. He loves bath time almost as much as I do.
***
No one ever told me how much fun this experience would be. I am sure I was told, but I was unable to comprehend it. The toughest part so far is at night when we are so tired and worn out and Kavaun wants to be walked around. Beata does the most sacrificing right now. Ugh.
And most of the people reading this have been there, done that. And even though I know that, for me this experience is so unique that it is easy to set aside the fact that so many people get what I am saying and have their own memories and experiences to fall back on as they read my words. Beyond the obvious use for us to record and savor these moments, I hope this blog can take some of you back to the days when you had little ones and all the things that you did and experienced to “grow them up.” No easy accomplishment I am certain.
I have to go and get ready for dinner.
***
I just realized that I have a blog entry sitting on my desktop at work that I never posted from last week so I will try to remember to post that soon. I took about 25 minutes on my lunch break to write a quick entry Monday and then forgot to post it.
***
More later, Nick 11/27/08


11/14/08 Off the top of my head - I have 20 minutes before I leave work.
Dear Kavaun,
We tell you everyday we love you. We ooh and ah over your expressions, your noises and most recently your smiles. There is so much to love that I need to create a list. We know you understand our love and you feel our joy, but when you grow up you will not have any memory of all of these treasured moments. This list will certainly help us remember and maybe someday it will help us describe to you what type of baby you were.
So in these last six weeks, here's what I miss most when I am at work during the day:
The way you snuggle up to my chest when I hold you and then every once in a while, you will stick your head out into the air over my shoulder and bob it around slowly. You act like a bird or something. (I mean that in a cute nice way)
The new game we invented called, "Tall Man Falling" (when you say the name of the game, imagine it echoing - makes it seem cooler). I lay on my back and you stand on my chest while I hold your chest. Once you get your legs straightened up and your head is lifted off your shoulders, I guide your face down to may face and I cry out, "Tall man falling." Sometimes we bump noses. Other times we just exchange a smile. Most of the time you just look confused. From my vantage point lying down you look taller than 23.5 inches.
Watching you sleep.
Calming you down when you are right in the beginnings of a pouty cry. I usually find myself laughing when you stop crying so abruptly and so easily. Inside I think you respect that I call your bluff!
Taking you into the bathroom and watching you slumped over my shoulder in the mirror. I must do this four or five times a day when I get home. You are so damn cute!
Our bath time. My absolute favorite time with you.
Trying to pose you for goofy pictures so we can show you off. In some ways, we are selfishly propping you up for own enjoyment, but I always find some lame justification for it.
The things that keep us going when you are crabby:
Just knowing that even on your bad days or bad stretches when you are edgy and grumpy, there will be a smile or cute moment right around the corner. Your mom compares your bad days to her golf game. When you do something cute or you settle down, she says it's like that rare good golf shot that keeps her playing golf even though she says she is not very good.
Knowing that we are to blame for your inherited "tired - hungry grizzly bear" gene (which I got from my mom) and your mom's "particular princess gene."
Putting you in your car seat and going for a ride. You love the car.
The silly songs we make up to sing to you as we compete with your screaming.
Pretending we can actually figure out why you are crying and then discussing it with one another as we diagnose whatever issue it is you may be having. I always say it is gas or maybe you are just in a shitty mood just because. Your mom reads your needs much better than I do thank God.
Your other personality traits and quirks besides being a "fake crier" from time to time:
You snort a lot when you are hungry.
You are squeaky and make cute noises.
There was a period of time when you were tooting, as Karen would say, like a grown man. Shake the floor with that bass child! Your burps were mightier in your younger days too.
You wiggle a lot and get bored in one position after five minutes or less usually.
While you r mother has changed a majority of your diapers, you have managed to pee only on me - like ten times!
Some cool things we have done together:
We voted for Barack Obama together as a family. No matter what the legal definition of voting may be, the fist vote cast by you was for Obama.
We eat Sunday breakfast together as a family at our favorite breakfast hot spot. In fact, last week I ate a short stack of banana walnut pancakes and bacon with my fingers (left-handed no less) while holding you so you would stop crying. Your mom found this new skill to be a turn-on I think.
We drive and talk. Okay, I do all the driving and talking, but I just know that you "hear" me.
Of course, there's more to write, but I get to go home now to see you. I will edit/add to this later maybe.
Love, Dad
.


11/13/08 5:20 a.m.
Kavaun wanted me to write this entry today to tell everyone he says hello. Currently, he is a very busy little baby.
He likes to eat every 2-3 hours and lately he has been rather intense. He is a fun smily little guy, but he has these spells of very serious and intense moments - it's like he is solving algebraic equations in his head.
I love this newborn phase. He is growing way too fast in my eyes. Beata's vantage point must be a little different than mine since she spends so much time with him daily. We both like this phase.
I have to get ready for work.
Just wanted to give you the update.
Nick


11/01/08 11/01/08 11:45 p.m.
Title: Kavaun Jetson meets Ionia
As I sit here typing this blog entry with Kavaun in the Bjorn snuggled up to my chest, I am very grateful for technology. Everything from the Bjorn to our cool jogging stroller and all of the computer and digital technology at our fingertips has contributed to our new-parent experience.
Digital pictures are so common now that they get taken for granted by most people. The fact that I could snap a photo of Kavaun and get it to the inboxes of dozens of people in minutes is pretty cool. Within seconds, I can send my mom a picture or video of Kavaun with my cell phone. We are able to share so much so easily and so quickly that I have forgotten what my world was like before my digital camera, my cell phone and even this blog. Without this blog, how else would my entire Ionia posse share in these experiences? Surely, I would not be calling all of my aunts and uncle to repeat the same stories. I am not as open in my verbal communication as I am in writing. Besides, I can type these things at midnight and people will read them whenever it is convenient for them. You can all tune in when or if you want. And more importantly for me, this blog is an outlet for me to preserve this experience. I always wanted to keep a journal, but the fact that I have an audience here motivates me to write more often and to try and pack a little bit more meaning into my entries than I would if they were for my eyes only. Throw in the pictures we get to share on the blog and this outlet has been an invaluable communication tool. I am not sure how much we can keep up, but once a week or every ten days for an entry seems pretty doable to me. Clearly, I enjoy this.
Our latest technological discovery has been our video conference ichats with Beata’s family. It starts with a phone call and then we fire up our cameras and have a videoconference. Attempting to narrow a 2,300 mile gap with a laptop computer is pretty powerful. The first time we did this last Sunday, I felt like we stepped into an episode of the Jetsons, except instead of George video conferencing with Mr. Spacely, we got to share Kavaun’s bath with our Oregon family. They oohed and ahed, sang songs and Kavaun got to hear their voices and their laughter. Even through a computer monitor, their love and excitement was easily apparent. Kavaun acted like – well, he acted like a four-week old baby which is exactly what they tuned in to see. It really is cool for him to hear their voices and see them (not exactly sure how much he really sees) and they get to watch Kavaun. I love it. It is a cool tradition we plan to keep up on a weekly basis.
And even with all of those cool technology things going on, the reality is that without all the help we have gotten in the last month with everything else, we would be feeling lost. Starting with Beata’s entire family and especially her mom who stayed for almost three weeks. She made wonderful meals, helped with cleaning, did all of our shopping, woke up several times with Kavaun and guided us through the tough first weeks. That was time which we will always be grateful we got to spend with them. And believe me; I am just scratching the surface with this list of ways in which they were helpful.
Cousin Sarah and sister-in-law Amy have been very helpful with Super-mom advice and guidance. Toni Ann stepped up and opened her home to us for our first over night trip to Ionia and she was exceedingly accommodating. Kavaun got to meet all of his great-aunts and Uncle Dan. Leigh is a natural with him and Jeff was almost natural. Mark and Dan were not nearly as excited to meet him as Sue (which I completely get) and even John and Allie made a trip to Fenton to meet him a couple weeks ago. Kavaun is definitely feeling the love. And so are we. Thank you.
And most notably KK has truly been a God-send. Kavaun loves his Grandma KK. Yes, Balice family – I said God-send. All that ribbing she has endured for her non-traditional parenting techniques seems so out of character for Grandma KK. Not only does she dote on the K-man, but she has done more housework at 740 Second Street in a few visits than I do on a monthly basis. Several loads of laundry, picking up after the baby (and me) and some help with meals are quite the needed lift these days. And she is doing all of this with her heart being pulled in four directions – Miles, Jude, Kavaun and Barack.
You are awesome. All of you.
Good night,
Nick


10/23/08 October 23, 2008
Title: Soaking
As I sit here on planning period at school trying desperately to get caught up at work, I can not seem to get off my mind the beautiful, dependant and loud baby that I left at home with Beata this morning at 7 a.m.
On one hand, I want to make sure I soak up all of the infant phase. And in other ways, I am getting soaked. And I am not referring just to the half-dozen times I was Kavaun's target as he relieved himself on the changing table. This rollercoaster has so many dips, twists, turns and loops that from time to time, some moments - like when he screams and his face turns purple - seem to last too long. Other moments do not last long enough.
Like the zillions of parents before us, we love the priceless smiles, the yawns, the stretching and I am surprised by our sudden happiness about burps, farts, poops and sleeping. Kavaun staring at the ceiling fan holds our interest like a last-second play in the NCAA Basketball tournament. A bath with Kavaun is as much about our relaxation as it is about his hygiene. A cry-free diaper change or a walk in the stroller suddenly changes our outlooks as if they are reassurances that we are in fact succeeding as parents.
This is pretty damn cool. Beata and I decided that we need to just turn over control for a little while. Our frustration with all the regular baby things will no doubt continue, but our frustration with not being in control will have to subside. "Easier said than done" seems to be the theme of everything these days. I see Beata in a whole new light and I can not believe how well she balances all of Kavaun's needs, our needs and all the regular things like eating, sleeping and finding some sense of normalcy.
On a nice drive with Beata and Kavaun yesterday, we laughed and had adult conversation as he slept soundly (not that kind of adult conversation!). We decided that long drives may become part of our routine. After we got home and Kavaun enjoyed his dinner, I took the K-man and we passed about two hours on a Genesee County fall color tour. We visitied some friends, looked for deer and listened to some Rolling Stones.
The capacity to care and love so much - in a way that is so different and at the same time so natural - has been a life-changing discovery. Even in our most tired and frustrated moments (normally in the middle of the night), I think we have managed to maintain our sanity in large measure because we know how fortunate we are to have our little angel (some sarcasm there even though he can be an angel). I am certain that this gift of unconditional love will help see us through the next few decades and beyond. And the other thing I am starting to see in hindsight from my own upbringing is: what choice do we have? I mean, this is all part of the deal and the notion that "we have this thing covered" gives me that needed false sense of security to just "keep doing" whatever works. Like many of you reading this entry, our lives have been changed in a profound way by our first child. Of course, we want to thrive and be super parents, but I can't help but gain confidence knowing that the parents before us managed so we too will manage. Managing is just fine from time to time, huh?
We have watched Kavaun grow before our eyes - three pounds in three weeks. Soon, he will have doubled in size from his September 30 birthday.
I am torn between soaking up the moments and capturing the moments and for the most part, Kavaun has chosen for me to "soak up" more and "capture" less. I will have plenty of pictures and plenty of video, but for now I am more into living this rather than capturing it. Right now, I have a hard time doing both simultaneously.
N


10/15/08 I am stealing a minute while Kavaun hangs out in his vibrating chair thing. I figure I might steal 15-30 minutes here…
Kavaun’s firsts:
Tuesday September 30 - drew his first breath at 7:52 p.m.. Had his first cry. Hugged his mommy and daddy for the first time. Was photographed. Met his grandmas, Grandpa Mostafavi and Aunt Sara.
Wednesday October 1 – Aunt Sara captured one of his first smiles on her camera. Stubborn and loveable personality emerges for the first time. Lung power is declared on the eve of October 1 with post-circumcision diaper change.
Thursday October 2 – First car ride on the way home from the hospital. First time in home captured on video by Grandpa Mostafavi. Slept in arms of mom dad and grandparents all night.
Friday October 3 – Kavaun gets overwhelmed by songs and nursery rhymes – both in Persian and English. We tried any and everything to calm him during diaper changes and occasional tantrums. We had our first father-son heart to heart.
Saturday October 4 – First football game with dad. Watched the first quarter of MSU and tailgated with bottle feeding and learning the MSU fight song. A happy day.
Sunday October 5 – Met Uncle Ryan and Aunt Amy.
Monday October 6 to Monday October 13 – Went for first doctor visit Oct. 6 and got a clean bill of health. Met Dr. Sherman for first time outside of womb. Judging by her enthusiasm, you would never know that she has delivered dozens of babies. Kavaun was exposed to the wonderful scents of Persian food all week. Kavaun watched the Presidential debate this week and expressed support for Obama once again. We went for our first walk with Kavaun’s stroller this week and several neighbors came out to greet us. Kavaun loved the walk around the block and slept his way through most of it. (I am forgetting a lot here that I will have to add later). Met Grandpa Elmer and Marilyn on Sunday October 12 and spent the day listening to stories, talking politics and soaking up the smells of Elm’s homemade beef vegetable soup and homemade cookies. This week Kavaun finally slept for more than two hours consecutive and also slept in his basinet for a couple hours on his own (rare).
Tuesday October 14 – Went for hour and a half walk around town with dad followed up by a trip to Target in the evening. Smiley, happy and drowsy for the experience.
I have decided that this list will never stop and I already feel like things are moving so fast. He has already grown and gained some weight. His personality is emerging beautifully and I am sure it will almost always be a bit of a challenge to keep balance and perspective all while trying to soak up the experience.
Beata has that special mother’s touch and after spending a couple weeks with her mother here helping (a HUGE help by the way), I can see where she inherited that knack for mothering.
I have new pictures to put up and will do that soon.
More later, Nick


10/06/08 10/06/08- 1:16 a.m.
Odd hours seem to be the norm.
Amy and Ryan visited today and we really enjoyed hanging out with them.
Kavaun is pretty mellow . . . UNTIL you put him on the changing table. He had three direct hits and two partial hits in the "Spray daddy" game he plays.
Fun times ahead in this household. Back to work for me Tuesday. Work seems like a world away.


10/06/08 10/06/08 - 11:05 pm
I imagaine it may be a while before I get back to this blog after tonight. I start back to work tomorrow and I have a feeling that the real balancing act will begin. New perspective helps me realize that it's no big deal.
Beata's mom and sister are very helpful. I need to learn how to do cook some Persian dishes. I love this food.
A new discovery: I need to learn more songs to sing for Kavaun while trying to calm him. I sing a lot of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and have resorted to making up my own lyrics. In fact, I am making up a lot of songs these days. Poor Kavaun looks so confused. Can't blame him.
Exhausted and going to bed.


10/04/08 Normally in the past I would type up one of these journal entries, look it over, edit it and then post it. Those days are over. Now, if I can get a minute I will take advantage of the time and just write whatever I need to write.
Our son Kavaun watched 10 minutes of the Spartan football game with me. More importantly, we had a great time bathing him just before kick-off. I love this. I know the newness of it will fade, but we love this experience so much and feel lucky. Beata does not complain, but I know she must be wiped out. She has not had more than two consecutive hours of sleep since last Sunday. I get up with her often at night on my own, but I have not been through as much as she has obviously. I do not want to sound patronizing or trite, but I have been so proud of her through this whole process. I knew she was strong, but I see her in a whole new light.
Kavaun has STRONG lungs. Last night we could not get him to stop crying and we resorted to singing, telling bad jokes to him and all kinds of things. We ended up laughing and just "accepting" our fate as new parents. Don't get me wrong, we have our moments and will certainly lose our sense of humor, but this learning curve is unlike anything I could have imagined. Probably equally as comical was my tip to the hospital with Kavaun yesterday. We had to have a few routine tests done but in that process he needed a bottle, burping, diaper change and then a clothes change. I was trying to do all of this in a little cubicle lab office and I was failing miserably. He was screaming, he peed on me and he was kicking his legs so much I could not hold him still. We had to have our first father-son talk. He eventually calmed and I became a HUGE believer in Uncle Dan’s saying that it is more art than science. I talk to him like he actually understands me. I got him buttoned up, strapped into his car seat and we went on our way. It took me an hour and on the way home we debriefed the situation (basically me talking to a sleeping Kavaun in the car). I joked with Beata that he doesn’t listen sometimes because she and her family talk Farsi around him.
Beata is so natural and loving to Kavaun. That is one of my favorite parts of this experience so far. I love seeing Beata in a whole new light. I also love just "being" with our baby and having her see me in a new light as well.
There are so many things to say here - I will copy an e-mail to this blog that I sent to my friends at work. Yup, I think I will get pretty schmaltzy (even more than I was during her pregnancy), but I have come to terms with the fact that is who I am – an outwardly proud and expressive (especially in writing) dad.
So many of you have called, sent messages and let us know how happy you are for us and we genuinely appreciate it. Beata's family has been here and with them and all the other support we feel, we do feel very fortunate. THANK YOU!


10/04/08 E-mail posted below.
----
From: Nicholas Gregory Sent: Fri 10/3/2008 5:55 AM To: Work Friends Subject: Good morning
Well, I just can't resist. As evidenced by the time of this e-mail, you can see our little guy has us up at night. I am not complaining by any stretch, but I "get it" a little better now. No one told me that babies eat every couple hours. Kavaun (pronounced "Kay - Von" - like "on" with a "V" in front of it) has been pretty smiley and happy and I love this picture Beata's sister took when he was just a day old. Here is the beginning of my report that I could only know from this experience.
Your own baby is always cute - cone head or no cone head - and I want to send a hundred pictures to everyone, but then I realize that "knowing" the little guy is so much better and pictures do not do him justice.
Loud cries hurt my ears - not because it is loud as much as we worry that he is alright. When he is uncomfortable, he is LOUD.
And yes, when it is your own child, poopy diapers and spit-up are fine. In fact, we have had some of our happiest times so far when we spotted poop or when our little guy successfully burped.
My original intent was just to get this picture in your hands, but I think the three nights in the hospital deprived me of so much social interaction and communication I need to talk and see people. If I run out on errands today, I may try to stop my lunch to say hi. (unlikely the timing will work out though)
Beata is such a good mom and while I watch her and the baby sleep in the rocking chair as I type this, I can only imagine that I will get carried away with hours and hours of video and pictures in the next days, weeks, years.
I look forward to seeing my friends at work.
Thanks for the well wishes - it really is appreciated,
Nick


09/29/08 September 28
New photos are coming soon. First, I will add some third trimester pictures and then shortly after, you can expect a picture of our baby . . . right now the baby is acting like he or she is almost ready . . .
This child definitely has my sense of urgency though. I have always felt being on time is overrated in most cases.
I am such a rookie first-time dad. I fell into the “due date trap” despite what so many of you said. You warned that the baby may decide to join us a week or two after the date. You shared stories about waiting and waiting. One person even claimed they delivered three weeks later. (I’m not buying it!)
I thought for sure we would have our baby before the due date. Now I am not even sure what the final date is anymore. Last week the doctor mentioned September 28. Before that it was September 30. And before that it was October 8.
But, no complaints here.
We have had a great time with this pregnancy. Certainly, my time with this has been much easier, but even Beata will tell you that she has enjoyed being pregnant.
Last weekend we went on the “Last Date” (before Baby G) – we went to a nice restaurant and watched a movie at the I Max theater. Yesterday we decided to take our usual walk, but this time we went to a dairy farm that sells home-made ice-cream (photo’s coming soon). We walked around the barns, pet the cows and watched pigs slop around in the mud. The ice-cream, the drive and a sunny day made for a fun day.
More later, Nick


09/20/08 I can not wait. The anticipation and excitement is overwhelming.


09/14/08 September 14, 2008
(Note: This entry lacks a cohesive theme)
Grandma KK has come to the rescue. The weekend has been wonderful and her arrival could not have come at a better time. Her grandmother instincts kicked in long ago and I am sure she has been trying to balance what we may want in these last few weeks with what she knows we need. I know we try to keep to ourselves quite a bit (except when I pipe off in this blog!) but the truth is we needed KK here and we could not be happier.
Picture it for a minute: I am sitting in the nursery as rain falls in sheets outside. Our house smells like a mix between garlic, onions and fresh baked bread (and I am positive there is no bread baking in our oven). My mom is in the kitchen making Saturday Night soup (my favorite KK dish) and Beata is snuggled up in a blanket on the couch. Beata is antsy and wants to help and we keep insisting she rest and relax. It is miserably wet outside so we can’t even go for a walk which is what Beata would really like to do right now.
She has been cooped up in the house for a while so going to the Flint Farmer’s Market yesterday was a real treat. I have enjoyed lounging around with her but it was nice to get out yesterday. We decided not to get more than 25 miles from our hospital in Grand Blanc so the Farmer’s Market seemed the perfect place to walk, buy fresh vegetables and fruit and see people. Once again, strangers predicted we would have a boy. At least 80% of the guessers say boy. We had a nice breakfast at the market, laughed quite a bit and even ran into a couple people affiliated with Beata’s higher ed./college beat in Flint. They asked Beata to hurry back to the Flint Journal after the baby because they appreciate her work. And just the night before Beata’s editor was in Gregory’s Tavern (his son’s football team from Haslett played in Ionia that night) and he had nice things to say about Beata as well. I enjoy hearing others talk about “journalist Beata” and how accomplished she is because she is too humble to present that side of her work life even to me.
I am constantly bugging Beata about drinking water. Even I get annoyed by myself so it’s a wonder she just goes along with it. I know she is more tired and blah feeling than she lets on and I imagine there are mixed feelings about wanting to have this baby NOW and also not wanting to go through the pain and lengthy process of labor. Her attitude has been great considering she pretty much went into early labor Friday morning around 3 a.m. (we were minutes from making the decision to induce) when things slowed down and our indecisive baby decided to try and make it to Uncle Dan’s September 25 birthday so we could cash in on the $10,000 Savings Bond (I added the extra zero for the pain and trouble of going to the hospital). Cutting out all the details, we were preparing with the nurse for delivery options as she went through all the questions about medications, epidural, baby stuff, etc.
Back to KK. She arrived yesterday around 5 p.m. and in between flipping channels (Notre Dame-Michigan game, the Oregon (Beata’s alma mater) – Purdue game and CNN), we spent considerable time relaxing and talking. We talked quite a bit about Election ‘08. Between Beata and my mom, I soaked up quite a bit. Beata has a world view that includes a lot of knowledge about A LOT of things. That is not to imply that there is not depth. In fact, it is quite the contrary – she gets it about a lot of issues. More than anyone I know, she is very well versed and seems to be opening my mind to new information and perspectives frequently. Beata is pretty analytical and understands the complexity more than I do. My mom is so well read and passionate about her beliefs that with the three of us in a room, we can not help but hope for the best and fear for a continuation of the worst with the November election. Pretty engaging and it is no secret that we want so badly for our baby's first REAL president to be Barack Obama. Watching some of Baby G’s political adversaries on TV almost sent the lovely Beata into another bout of contractions.
When Baby G did a somersault during a McCain ad, I feared the worst. I soon realized that it was Obama’s voice Baby G heard in the McCain ad that made the baby excited. (Our baby is gifted but still can not distinguish sarcasm and negativity– he merely heard Obama’s voice and reacted accordingly). This “excited reaction to Obama” was confirmed when future President Obama spoke in Denver and Baby G went nuts. Fortunately, Baby G – like the rest of us – slept through McCain’s RNC acceptance speech confirming what we already knew. I know that babies grow into “whoever they are meant to be”, but between the passion, principle and conviction surrounding this baby from all the branches of his or her family tree, we could be in for some lively exchanges in the years ahead. I am hopeful there is not a mutated gene somewhere in our bloodlines that will make Baby G a Republican. I guess worse things could happen. Maybe.
My spicy attitude coming through in this entry may be partially due to cabin fever. I usually have more subtle outlets to get political views off my chest…
Back to KK (again): Eventually we settled into mindless TV - some Project Runway on Bravo and The Wedding Crashers on TNT and then mom fell asleep on the couch (I did get her to finally retire to the guest room). True to form, my mom spent most of Sunday morning on our porch reading the Sunday papers cover to cover while the drizzling rain kept the dozen or so neighborhood kids inside all day.
I decided this blog has turned mostly into a place for me to record all this stuff since I am sure that when this baby arrives it will be easy it is to forget all these “little” instances happening in the days and weeks before the birthday.
Thanks for tuning in.
We will have BIG news soon.


09/12/08 09/12/08
This pregnancy has been a wonderful journey. I have talked to Beata about it and I have even overheard her talking to friends or family on the phone about how she has enjoyed pregnancy. Without a doubt, we have our eyes fixed on the “prize” and that helps make this experience more special. Now, at 37 weeks with a growing baby we feel ready. Physically, I know Beata is getting more and more ready.
We had some very nice baby showers and I enjoy stepping back and seeing how happy people are for us and especially for the mom to be. Beata has that gift that makes it easy for others to share in her happiness. She is so likeable and genuine when it comes to casting the spotlight on to others, that you can’t help but like her for those qualities. We sense the happiness people feel around us and it has been a blessing. It has been nice for us to listen as people share their stories about parenting and having babies. A softer side in people emerges and I think somewhere in the back of our heads that we hang on to those stories and it helps get through some of the tougher times. That support has meant the world and I am certainvit will continue to help us.
And right now as I type this, I am rushed because it seems that with contractions starting, we never know when our next trip to the hospital delivery room will be. We have gone in a couple times, staying well into the morning hours and last night we were certain this baby was en route.
No luck yet.
Beata has been tougher than nails and our nurse even seemed surprised that the contractions did not let up – virtually no breaks for five or six hours. I figure by now, only the diehard Baby G fans are reading this regularly so letting you know what is going on is not a big deal. This week has been pretty busy. We are doing well overall and although I did make a pledge to myself in the beginning of this blog not to get too “biological” in these entries, I can say that we do have dilation and a mother that is eager to deliver. So, stay tuned. It could be hours, days and maybe weeks (although I doubt that). I think making it so darn tough to give birth is one of the ways the big fella upstairs ensures the creation of a bond (through pain and labor) that eventually helps parents get through the teenage years among other things!
Thanks for the phone calls and well wishes. We appreciate all of it. When the baby gets home, we will look forward to inviting people over to meet him or her. I must say that we did some pretty serious “nesting” in recent weeks and painted three rooms. The nursery is something we are very proud of lately. We sit in there appreciating the quiet and the slight trace of fresh paint smell. This pregnancy has been a great expereince for us.
Alright, here we go . . . the next phase of this journey is literally right around the corner. All is well and we hope to have news for you very soon.


08/19/08 August 19, 2008
Thanks to Sarah, Amy and Michelle Hersh for a wonderful shower for Beata. We appreciate all the gifts and I appreciate that the mom-to-be was showered with attention and love.
Beata’s sister Sara’s visit made the weekend even more special with her visit. In fact, we invited Sara to join us for our final planned ultrasound today. Together we watched Baby G suck a thumb, yawn and wave to us. The baby is on pace for our due date in terms of the weight and length measurements. We did pick up on a few features of our baby. Beata thinks she saw the Tony Balice bump in the nose (I did not see it) – uh oh. I noticed a mouth shaped like mine. I know it sounds crazy. It probably is.
We looked through the baby photo album at the doctor’s office before the ultrasound. Pretty crazy photos. I am afraid that I may get a little carried away with pictures so I try to appreciate a little better why a baby would be photographed inside a pumpkin or why a newborn baby would wear a fur coat. And I have just accepted that I will lose all sense of judgment when it comes to photos of our own newborn. I saw several cone-headed, wrinkly, eyes-squinted, red frightened babies in those pictures and I think I kind of get the “hidden cuteness” a little better now that our time is fast approaching. Whatever. None of it really matters. They’re just talking points for someone (me) who has no real concept of how much these silly ideas don’t really matter when you enter a whole new world as a parent. All the adjustment. All the reaching out to others for help and advice. All the new meaning and shifted perspective on “things”.
Tomorrow we will go to our second birth/planning class. I am not a party poop, but it was kind of weird at first (I adjusted quickly) for me to sit on a pad holding Beata and practicing massage and breathing techniques with a group of complete strangers alongside of us. I am not complaining. It was just very different. We make jokes and laugh through some of it. In one exercise, we had to simulate a contraction and practice breathing. We were directed to just carry on and hang out talking and moving and then the instructor would say loudly, “okay, stop – you are having a contraction.” As the “coach” I would then offer my physical support and breathe with Beata. I was supposed to get her eyes focused on something in the room. We couldn’t even finish without giggling and I forgot to count the time in between the “fake” contractions.
The classes are great for first-time parents. We are learning a lot and we both agreed that without the class we are not even sure we would know what a contraction is or how things “happen” during labor. Or I should say how things COULD happen during labor since it was made very clear to us that it could be anywhere from 6 to 30 hours or something crazy like that.
I am exhausted and feel a long entry coming on soon. Once I begin working on more school stuff, I will make sure to turn my attention to non-teaching matters and that usually means my photography and some writing.
Thanks again for all of your love and support. I have never anticipated anything with the same excitement and intensity as I do the birth of our baby. We spend so much time thinking about this, talking about it and attempting to plan for all that it encompasses. Beata is more grounded than I am, but she is just as excited and eager as I am. We know we are fortunate.
More later, Nick


08/12/08 I know it has been a while since I have taken the time to create a blog entry. I can assure you that since we just finished our first of three baby preparation classes tonight, I will have plenty to share soon.
A quick snapshot: Beata recently made an observation about our baby that I think is rather weird. She claims that when she brushes her teeth with her electric toothbrush, it sends the baby into a dancing frenzy. I don't know about the toothbrush deal, but without fail junior seems to get moving around 9 p.m. every night.
Next time I will tell you all about our class and all the stuff that I never learned in biology class.
Nick


07/28/08 July 28, 2008
Baby Announcements - a Fad of the Past?
On our way home from an anniversary weekend spent on the coast of Lake Michigan (Saugatuck, South Haven and St. Joseph), the idea of baby announcements came up. No offense to all of the cute babies and proud parents reading, but I think they are kind of silly. The babies are usually like a week old in the photo, all wrinkled up, blotchy skin, beady eyes, etc. and the people who get the announcement already know about the arrival. I know I sound a little harsh. I am just printing what a lot of you think (especially men).
Fortunately for me I do not feel strongly about the topic because Beata sees the announcement as just one of the things you just do – kind of like sending wedding invitations to your closest friends and family even though they already know all of the information. A baby announcement marks the occasion, helps people remember the birthday and lets people in on the celebration. Let’s face it – life for many is busy and that little mailing helps people stop and realize the big news. It’s kind of like the Holiday cards with pictures on them – I see that as more of an update for people to see how the family continues to change. I think I will just plan on waiting a couple months, snap a fun picture and then send them out – maybe as a Holiday card or something?
Back in the good ole days, the announcement did not include a picture. That makes more sense to me. Then again, when it is your own baby I guess cuteness does not matter – it is a stinkin’ new life! Besides, cuteness is always relative. We all know that.
# # # #
As you will see from the photo pages, I took some anniversary pictures – most of them in gardens or on the beach at sunset. It was hard to choose four or five to post since the setting was so perfect and Beata was in picture-perfect form. More than the end results (the photos themselves), we typically have fun doing these sorts of things. I will try to keep our shutter fly account updated so that the ones we take down have a new home on-line.
Beata is pretty patient with me, but the beach photos did go a little too far given the poses and the lighting conditions. I had a tri-pod and when I started to set it up, Beata smiled and gently rolled her eyes as if to say, “Here we go . . .” She made fun of me Saturday night because I was giving her instructions boldly like I actually knew what I was doing – for an hour I pretended to be a hired professional. Admittedly, I was hamming it up for fun. Why not go all out? It’s not like anyone there knows me. (Thank God). And the pictures are fun because we were amused. Let me re-phrase – I was amused and Beata may have been slightly embarrassed.
“Give me a little more of that, ‘I am mom’ attitude.”
“That’s it. Perfect! Right there. Oh yah.”
“Turn clockwise. Put your arms up. Own it.” (I never really said, “Own it” just for the record)
It is obvious to me that if we keep this blog going when the baby arrives we will need to pay the minimal subscription fee to upload more pictures than 10. I like having the limit though because then people are not too overwhelmed looking through so many pictures. Maybe 20 would be enough? More than that is just too many.
On our weekend getaway we met some very nice people. One South Bend, Indiana couple we met at our bed and breakfast has been married 18 years and every year they get away to South Haven for their anniversary. They also said they have a date night once per week – something to keep things “balanced” in their marriage. Lofty, but sounds like a pretty good idea to me. We do something for our anniversary each year – in 2006 we went to Spain and last year was Mackinac Island. We’re kind of thinking the local get-aways will be in the cards for a while. The last two weekend anniversary trips gave me a chance to surprise Beata with some planning – accommodations, dinner reservations, activities, etc.
The baby room is coming together. According to our last doctor visit, we may need to be ready by mid-September just in case. That means 6 to 9 weeks . . . wow.


07/25/08 July 25, 2008
Until today, I had lost the steam to keep blogging. The weather has been gorgeous. The home projects continue to mount. I am even taking some golf lessons! My life is good. Great, in fact. Not much that is funny or memorable going on outside of the obvious. I will attempt to get back in the swing of things with some “snapshots”.
Snapshots from Baby G’s nursery:
1. We had some good verbal sparring going on recently when Beata offered to help me bring upstairs part by part of a new rocking chair that was boxed up in our garage waiting for assembly. The large box weighed about 70 pounds and I assumed it was in 40 pieces so in a snippy tone, I replied, “I will just do it tomorrow.” I said this for a couple days and finally – out of annoyance I actually grabbed the box (more like 50 pounds in reality) and moved it upstairs to assemble. Beata, excited by my massive strength, sat down and eagerly popped the box open. With the little ratchet in her hand, she smiled as though I had upgraded her wedding ring. We put the six pieces together in about 20 minutes and Beata made sure to remind me jokingly that the other 34 pieces must have been left at the factory. She repeated this joke a dozen times. I could laughter trying to escape from that smart-ass mouth of hers. We laughed and talked about all the nights we would be spending rocking our baby to sleep in that 40-piece chair, how everything is calm in our nursery now, but soon that will all change. (See new photos)
In fact we have been spending a lot of our evenings just marveling, “Can you believe there is a baby living in there (pointing to her tummy)?” or talking about the endless list of “what-ifs”. What if the baby gets my nose? Or what if our baby looks kind of funny – will we know it? Or care for that matter? (We decided that only Uncle Dan would actually tell us the truth whether we were ready to hear it or not) Or what if our baby is a picky eater? Just a fun little game we play for entertainment. We pass our time talking about the baby every night. We laugh often. I am eager to start the new chapter along with Beata. She has had more to balance given that she is carrying the baby and working 45-60 hours per week. Beata keeps an optimistic attitude and will be a great mother in part because she maintains that balance with her sense of humor, organization and drive to be the best (fill in the blank – writer, friend, soon to be mom, etc.).
2. I forget the specific name of the class/seminar but the topic was about how to help your baby develop good sleeping habits. Follow me. When we registered at Babies R Us, we got a calendar of different seminars related to parenting infants – you know the diaper thing, sleeping, eating, nursing, etc. We decided to check one of these “seminars” out since we were going to be shopping at Babies R Us anyway. We viewed this as a learning opportunity and something we could do together. Our expectations were not lofty and I had a feeling we were in for some entertainment – the kind of entertainment that was a, “I guess you had to be there” type of thing. When we arrived to the seminar area there were about 15 chairs set out for all the soon-to-be parents. So we plopped down and waited a few minutes and quickly realized we were the entire audience. (See photos) No one showed up. Our 20-year old hostess Erin greeted us and stood behind a large podium reading very fast from a prepared script. It was fine because, as she stated, she had a baby nephew. I would like to say we listened intently, but I spent most of the time laughing. I am laughing now thinking about it. Beata nudged me, but she could not stop laughing either. Erin never caught on. She said we were “so cute” and I think she just thought we were excited to be parents or something. She popped in a 15-minute video. When she returned to finish reading the script and answer questions, I did my best to behave. It was a “you had to be there” type of thing but I still crack up thinking about us and all of those empty chairs getting tips from “Aunt Erin”. It was hilarious.
3. Stuff and Home Projects. It will always be a challenge. We just cleared out about four carloads of “donations” from our garage for goodwill in addition to getting rid of all the recycling and garbage that our tiny little garage was holding. Ninety percent of it belonged to me and I am sensing Beata’s fear about making room for necessary “stuff” for our baby as I struggle to manage my own junk. On the home project front, my dad spent two nights and three days here painting. It looks good and we are only halfway done. Even though I helped, there is no way I could have done it alone. More than the painting, I enjoyed our visiting while we worked and especially over meals. He talked a lot about family and Beata got to know my dad better as well. It was a win-win for sure. I will finish painting (trim work mostly) three rooms this summer and then take on complete re-designs of the bathroom and Master bedroom all before Baby G arrives. And I am happy to report that Baby G’s home has the nicest yard on the street – in large measure thanks to Cousin Jeff who helped me get it started with a his design ideas (and manual labor) last summer. Yes, this is what I do in the summer – water my plants daily and talk about projects (rather than eagerly getting after them!)
4. Great visit home last weekend. I got plenty of one-on one time with my cousins – John, Leigh, Joe, Jeff and time with my mom, Aunt Maggie, Dan and Janet. The Ionia Free Fair was the backdrop for some fun with my nephew Miles. In fact, walking around with Miles at the fair and having a high school classmate of mine ask me if he was my son hit home. I got a sliver of the pride that goes with toting your kid around at the fun (and unpredictable) age of two. I know there are several moments when the parent of a two-year old is not so proud…
I love the ordinary and will go ahead and give big props to Leigh and Maggie since I know they will read this entry (part of the loyal blog following Baby G has – I know there are others.) Jeff and the Hotel Marion has been very good to us over the years and with Baby G en route, we will be making different accommodations for future visits…Hi Aunt Janet – I know you are a regular to this site as well. (And no, I am not purposely neglecting the rest of you . . .)
While I do get antsy and a tad nervous about balancing my work life during the school year, this has probably been the best summer of my life. I am so excited for fall to get here though. Beata has been working very hard at the Journal, but we manage to take time for ourselves and we turn most of our anxiety into laughter.
Fun times at 740 Second Street. Thanks for being part of our fun.
No time to edit this today. More later, N


07/20/08 I know we have been slipping in our entries lately. The to-do list is shrinking slowly and there is a lot to write. In the next couple of days I will have another entry (probably a long one) and some new pictures posted.
Beyond all of the baby buzz going on right now, we had a great weekend in Ionia at the Free Fair and with family. And before that we were in Oregon with Beata's family and there are some great pictures from that adventure that I will post very soon.
More later, Nick


07/11/08 July 11, 2008
Title: The Birth of a Father
Sometime around the end of September, our lives will take a big turn and we will set out to give parenting our best shot. And the more I think about it, the more excited I get about our first child.
I recently heard from a colleague that this anticipation I feel is normal for the daddy to be. But the reasoning that the “pro’s” (which includes the co-worker and some authors probably) point out for my excitement is nonsense as far as I am concerned.
Why do the pros insist that my daddy-to-be bliss is based on my lack of understanding of how this will change my life? And even if doubts are partly based on a new pops being naïve, that does not mean that a new father lacks the capability to appreciate the joy of fatherhood while accepting the ‘adjustments. Okay, so meeting Beata’s and junior’s needs will squeeze out some of the time spent watching college football and date nights without planning (or all together for a while). And that’s not even close to scratching the surface. I feel like some people view it like fathers have these choices made for them rather than seeing it for what it is – that some of these life adjustments, while unknown now, are anticipated with enthusiasm.
I just have to ask, what is all the fuss? Are we, as men, really that weak? Are we that hooked on “bachelor life” and insignificant things that mistakenly represent some artificial concept of freedom or having a “man card”? A baby robs men of those joys? C’mon.
I think part of the reason that some people react to my excitement with a hint of doubt is partly connected to the fact that the mom is supposed to be SUPER excited and dad is to be a little more reserved or less expressive. Just the fact that I blog about this stuff and put it out there for the people closest to us is probably “out there” in the eyes of some. I have a couple close male friends who absolutely welcomed and love being dads to their new-born children. Sure, they never blog about it, but I also know that their initial excitement did not disappear once the reality set in.
Generally, people react positively. But that very small handful of people who point out that this big life change is irreversible and that a new dad has no clue because he observes passively while mom bears all the hassles of pregnancy may have some valid points, but I think they are missing the mark. While I can not predict with a ton of certainty how I will handle the challenges of fatherhood, I do know that I am genuinely excited to give it my best shot. September can not come soon enough.
I do not know just how much time and energy being a dad will require, how it will change life or what “restrictions” a child will put on the life we currently know (pre-children). As the colleague pointed out, I do spend as many as 12-18 hours per week coaching my JV basketball team in the winter and additional time in my TV studio working with my students after school. I keep busy.
And with all this change, I am eager to get started being a dad.
Thank God that for 99% of the people we talk to, life as we know it now is back page news and the life we are starting steals the front page. That is the way it should be.
Nick


07/08/08 9:30 a.m. Portland Oregon July 8, 2008 Scattered thoughts
We are preparing to fly back to Michigan today and this will be one of the toughest departures yet. Beata said she does better leaving when I am with her; however I think today will be the exception. As usual, we had a great trip this time. Over the last three years, Beata has made close to a dozen trips to Oregon to see her family. About half the time I am able to go and I am grateful I made the trip this week. I would not have known what I was missing had I stayed back because everything we did over the last four days has been exceptionally ordinary. And ordinary is the most comforting and memorable sometimes. When we spent time together as an entire family, I just imagined how different it will be the next time we see everyone. Our little baby will be in the mix and by the number of times her mom had her had on Beata’s stomach on this trip alone, I imagine that it will take the Jaws of Life to pry our baby out of her arms when her mom visits us in Michigan in October.
Watching Beata interact with her family - especially her mom – has been memorable. When we sit in the living room as a family, they all sit close together. When someone walks into the room, they get a hug and normally a compliment (in Farsi most of the time). I think I must give a vibe that says I don’t need a hug ALL the time so I am selectively hugged. Beata’s mother and sister seemed mildly amused by the baby moving and their hands were firmly resting on Beata’s tummy quite often. Our baby was often the topic of conversation. … All of the things an expecting mother deserves.
On Sunday they had a baby shower and I was “displaced” for the day in the city. While I wandered around taking pictures and drinking coffee in downtown Portland, they had about two dozen people over and celebrated Beata’s pregnancy. By all accounts, it was a great time. I went to the Portland Beavers minor league baseball game with a friend who just moved out to Oregon from Michigan. Afterward, we had time to kill so we hopped around from bar to bar for the next six hours. It was a great time. Then yesterday when Beata, her mom and sis went to Babies R Us, I had a wonderful and meaningful visit with her dad for the next three or four hours. I learned a lot since we did not have any distractions and truthfully I kind of picked his brain. I am much more conscious of how family can have such vast and different meanings to different people. The Mostafavi clan is tight-knit and affectionate and I can see how it has shaped Beata. And my family, although not very affectionate, is an incredibly snug bunch also. Both families are imbued with values and this sense of family that I struggle defining. And for Beata and for me, our families are such a big part of who we are, yet they are quite different. My guess is that many newlywed stories go along these lines.
Through Beata, I appreciate better the bond between a mother and a daughter. I know our departure in a few hours will be sad because so much will have happened in our lives between now and the next time we see them. I am grateful her sister will be coming in August to a shower Sarah and Amy are hosting. And technology has served us well so we can send pictures digitally and keep tabs much easier than would have been possible years ago.
Time to pack, Nick


06/30/08 June 30, 2008
It has taken us a week to recover from our registry experience at Babies R Us. Without the help of my sister-in-law Amy, I do not think we could have managed beyond the toy section of the store. I really did not have any clue how much is involved with a baby. Maybe I should refrain from using the past tense since I am still pretty clueless. Amy was the perfect assistant because she just threw out ideas and guided us with brief explanations of what we might need. I do not know of anyone else who could have handled our eyes wide open astonishment at all the stuff with such a helpful demeanor.
When I set out on this blog idea I pledged to be honest (I pledged to myself anyway) and I will happily admit that the registry experience was fun. I was a bit overwhelmed and I did eventually tire, but for the first hour and a half, it was exercise for my imagination. Visualizing our life with junior became more real with every little toy I inspected or stroller I wheeled through the aisles. And yes, this vivid imagination involves mostly rocking, holding, snuggling, giggling and playing. The crying, pooping, screaming, sick, sleepless and spitting up visuals are not something I have gotten the hang of “seeing” just yet. But I do not think you will hear us complain much about that stuff. I just kind of expect it and figure it is part of the deal and quite frankly, I don’t care much or fear it. At least not yet. This is all easier in theory anyway. We’ll just have to see how we react.
It was an eye-opener seeing all of the stuff on store shelves neatly packaged that is soon to become messy and normal in our lives –diaper bags, bottles, pack and play, car seats and even a breast pump (although I am certain a pump will not become normal in my life, but you know what I mean).
Speaking of breast pumps – have you seen this thing? I am almost embarrassed to admit that I really thought it was a suction device that involved some kind of manual pumping work. When I saw it in the store, it looked more like a bomb disarming device. When I scanned it for the registry, I looked at the picture on the box and even though I understand the concept, the straps, cords and the little bag seemed more like a rubics cube to me.
But despite the surprises and the sense that we need to add on about 400 square feet to our house, I had fun. Registering made the pregnancy even more real - as if the ultra-sounds, Beata’s swelling belly and the half dozen new books sitting on end tables in our house were not enough to make this real. Father’s Day and then going to register got me even more eager to be a dad. It is hitting me now that this whole deal is literally right around the corner. We are only 12 weeks from our due date.
If you haven’t seen the new pictures, you may want to check them out. Although we never really said it this way to one another, we pretty much decided from the beginning that we would celebrate our pregnancy. We have been excited since Super Bowl Sunday when Beata shared the news with me. I think pictures are a fun and creative way to capture some of this enjoyment. Soon it will be a blur and the pictures may bring back a little bit of the experience.
FTR: (That’s for the record for the old people) I used to get annoyed when expecting fathers would use terms like “our pregnancy” or “we’re pregnant” but now I see how that terminology happens. I do not like to talk or write as though I am not part of the experience and it seems unnatural to refer to Beata’s baby or her pregnancy like I am just some observer . . . so I guess I have had a little bit of a change of heart on that one.
I am not sure if I wrote about my stupid complaint to Beata when she noticed I did not have my cell phone on me one day. Basically, I was complaining to her how I hated carrying around the extra weight in my pocket. Before the words even left my mouth, I knew how stupid I sounded since she too was carrying some “extra weight” which gave her even more reason to expect she could reach me at a moment’s notice. That was a couple months ago. Today, I had another one of those moments. I complained at least five times about the weak half caff coffee we were drinking. I was too lazy to brew a pot of normal coffee so instead I just complained. Then I remembered (with the help of one of Beata’s unsympathetic looks) that Beata has been drinking the weak crappy coffee everyday for work and adjusting without a single complaint. Meanwhile, I had been on my own schedule with few demands since school ended, yet I easily whined about something so petty. We laughed that one off too.
Something tells me that laughing may be the key to our marriage over the next couple years . . .
We will see Beata’s family in Oregon this week. We are looking forward to our trip.
- Nick


06/28/08 June 28, 2008
A long blog entry is coming very soon. Since the school year ended on June 14, the lack of unstructured time has made blogging more of a favorite past-time than a regular occurrence for me. There is a lot to report and a lot going in here at 740 Second Street. Quickly now:
1.We registered for baby gifts. Thank God for my sister in law Amy’s help.
2.Home projects are in full swing and the to-do list keeps growing. We are planning as though we need to squeeze in every single home project before Baby G.
3.We are going to start a Shutterfly account to post more pictures for people interested. I will put the address on our picture page and in the journal section here.
More later, Nick


06/18/08 Summer is a time when I slow down to about 10 miles below the speed limit and spend more time being creative, lazy and reflective. That may end up resulting in some deeper, analytical and even emotional journal entries at some point.
For today however, all I have is a first time situation to try and untangle. I may need some help from our loyal bloggers.
Yesterday evening around 6 p.m., the lovely Beata started laughing hysterically for no apparent reason. It was like something took over her body and was tickling her aggressively. It was really weird actually.
We have been married nearly three years and we have known one another about 6 years and I have never seen Beata laugh like this for no identifiable reason.
In fact, once she started, she could not stop. She claimed she just felt happy. Five minutes after the laughing had passed and we were talking about something boring and not funny, and she broke into laughter again.
Is this normal for a pregnant woman? Just curious because when I heard about the cravings, the hormone shifts and moodiness, no one said anything about manic laughter. Is Beata laughing at something I should be concerned about? Hmmm...
More later, Nick


06/16/08 June 16, 2008
Baby G listened to Barack Obama speak today at Kettering University in Flint. Due to excessive attempts at screaming, jumping around and dancing in the womb, we have concerns that baby G is going to become a political junkie. Just to test the baby’s political preferences, I have streamed from the Internet several George W. Bush speeches to play for Baby G so we can measure his/her response. I anticipate sleeping and/or laughter.
Because our due date is right in the heart of political season, Beata had to give up her political beat to another reporter. Today that other reporter enjoyed a 7-minute one on one interview with the future president. Beata’s attitude about it is positive and we could not be more excited about our baby. However, today is one of those days for me when I wish we could have the best of both worlds – we get our baby in late September/early October AND Beata gets to meet Barack Obama… oh well.
We were able to spend quality time with my family yesterday. My brother Ryan is such a good dad. His littlest one Jude is about six weeks and Miles will be three in October. Watching Ryan and Amy reminds me that parenting is a full-time deal. They are a team and it is obvious.
Today, I held a basketball shoot-around for the 9th and 10th grade boys I will coach this summer and next season. Occasionally, I will think to myself that maybe I should give up coaching for a year while we adjust to life with a baby. I leave the option of stepping aside in my head as a possibility and I would not hesitate if I thought it would be for the best. When I am out there teaching and working with my players, I am reminded how much I love it and how much I enjoy building a team. I get so much out of teaching and building and having a positive experience. Coaching is fun for me. I am a good coach and I have a lot to offer. I also have a lot to learn and that keeps me motivated along with the relationships we build on my teams. I plan to enjoy it and continue to be successful with it as our family grows, otherwise it will not be worth the time and energy. It is a lot of work and it is not “recreational” in the way I approach it. We practice a ton – even at 6 a.m. twice a week and I pour all of my energy into when I am in the gym and preparing. Beata has been very supportive of my coaching. She rarely misses a game (that will change and should change) and helps me work through some of the challenges. She listens better than anyone I know and she gets it and understands my purpose. I think I will have my priorities in order, but just in case I do not keep the right perspective, raising our little one will shift everything back into place. I know where my greatest influence and impact will ultimately be and I cannot imagine a situation where I will lose sight of that.
So, to Baby G – You may spend a lot of time in a gym hanging around athletes and certainly you will get caught up in listening to political conversations around the house and at family gatherings. And maybe someday we will have to give you that shot at meeting this (future) President we are so excited about at this time. Your mom may get another crack at meeting the man our country will elect, but the chances are slim. You, on the other hand – by the time you are 20 years old or older, it will likely mean a trip to Illinois where Obama’s presidential library will be located and we will have to reminisce about the day your mom almost got her interview with him . . . or maybe we will be talking about when she did land that interview. Either way, I am certain you will live in a better America than all the babies born in the previous five or six years.
More later, Nick


06/15/08 June 15, 2008
Beata just gave me a wonderfully meaningful and thoughtful Father’s Day gift. She put together in a book several hand written journal entries, some printed out blog entries, cards, pictures and all sorts of fun things to commemorate my first Father’s Day. I know how scattered all that stuff is in our house and for her to pull that entire book together means more to me than any other gift she could have given me. There were some very personal touches that make the book uniquely us.
It had to be a heftier job than she is acknowledging. And she is playing it down as she makes me breakfast. That is so Beata.
I feel so strongly about acknowledging and celebrating these things. I can not imagine my life without books, journals and pictures that take me back in time. Thank you Beata. Inside, she must know that this gift is a homerun!
Because I am me I even took pictures of the home pregnancy test result. She put the picture in the book. She had congratulations notes from family and friends and she even included a nice letter she wrote to our baby about how good of a dad I will be and why.
I hope she is right and I am confident we will do fine – we will do our best. That much I know for sure.


06/14/08 Two short entries:
#1: We are planning to do a home make-over this summer by finishing four rooms and cleaning out our garage before September. One of the rooms was completed recently as our office, but will now be the baby's room. Beata made me laugh when she said to me this morning, "This room did not take that long to paint last time." Last time was just over a year ago... but it is part of the fun to create a little mini-world for the baby to sleep in.
#2: Our baby will get to hear President Obama in person when he visits Flint Monday. Beata will be covereing the event for the Flint Journal. Beata shared with everyone in her recent journal entry that the baby can hear now. I can not think of a better introduction into American politics than hearing his/her first President give a speech at Kettering University in Flint.
We can only post 10 pictures at a time so I will be taking down phots and rotating new ones through. I added a couple last night. One of them I particularily like - it's the one where Beata is making a heart shape with her hands over her tummy. She is patient with my picutre ideas.
More later, Nick


06/11/08 June 11, 2008
We just went for a walk through our neighborhood. I think it may be somewhat of a blessing that Beata is pregnant in the summer rather than the winter when it is hard to get out. I suppose on the other side of that is the reality that July and August may be brutally hot and muggy and with Beata’s job she is out of the office frequently. Ugh . . .
What else is happening here? We are going through the, “What’s in a name?” phase. We have names we really like and then some names that hold special meaning. I guess the trick is to find the one that meets both requirements if possible. I think we are having a girl. Beata has always thought we would have a boy, but she is second-guessing her instincts since she has been wrong on a few predictions lately – namely Anthony Baidas and Jude Gregory.
# # #
Beata is sitting on the couch talking in Farsi to the baby. This after she told me her mother said I need to put my head on her stomach and speak in Farsi so the baby could hear my voice. My response was that the baby could hear her voice better from the inside of her body. With that, Beata started a three minute conversation in Farsi with herself. I have absolutely no idea what she is saying. She is just finishing up now . . . Which reminds me – if you are aware of any good reading material out there for how to teach a baby a second language, pass titles or links to me or Beata via e-mail.
It is important to both of us that we give our child an appreciation for the cultures we both grew up with in our families (in addition to others). I imagine our house will be one with great Christmas celebrations and Italian food. Each Persian New Year gathering will inlcude gifts and loads of Persian dishes and traditions. This means that we desperately need recipes and practice making home-made food!
For years I took for granted all of the cousins I had around all the time growing up and there are so many memories and events from my childhood for which I am grateful. There are also all the little things that added up as memories I suppose. The types of things I hope our child has as well - they are really small things I always think about when it comes to my family. Things like playing Uno at grandmas, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble and watching the Cosby Show on Thursdays at grandpa and grandmas. Dried out turkey at Thanksgiving with manicotti, Coke all the time and trips to the SSPP Catholic School playground just to mention a few. What kinds of traditions will we create for our baby? Little league ball games, summer trips or if we pull a Karen, maybe our child will escort blind people around the Grand Rapids Art Festival when he or she is twelve years old too…
# # #
In an act of support, I joined Beata in a trip to Pizza Hut recently followed by some delicious ice cream at Uncle Ray’s in Fenton. We never go to Pizza Hut and it was exactly as I remembered – loud kids, family friendly and a cheesy waiter. We decided to get used to it . . .
And it’s time for me to give more serious thought to a new car. My car has been paid off for a little while now which we love; however driving our baby around in a 1999 Cougar – basically a teeny bopper ride – just seems WEIRD to me. But I am not ready for a mini-van either.
Beata has just reported to me that her belly button is popping out. Maybe I will write about that next time . . . well, there’s that and the fact that Beata is dancing to my jazz music playing on iTunes radio (I know – elevator music is for old people) … she claims that she will have to teach the baby Farsi and how to dance since I am incapable of such deeds. If you know Beata, you can imagine her with a towel on her head, fresh out of the shower grooving to “Get Down on It.” She thinks she is giving the baby rhythm by holding her baby while she sways back and forth tot he beat laughing. We’ll see about that. This is quite the sight. You would be laughing if you were seeing what I am seeing.
5 minutes later: Beata has expressed slight disappointment that the baby is not dancing in her stomach right now. In her words, “If the baby had my genes, he would be moving around.”
Welcome to our world. We are dorks.
Thanks for tuning in, Nick


06/04/08 06/04/08
The little moments I need to remember:
Me coming home to find that Beata has swept the kitchen…and she leaves the little pile of crumbs and dirt on the floor for me to sweep up and throw away since she can’t bend over very easily. Picture a broom and a pile of dust in the middle of the floor and it’s simply understood that I will take care of it. I can’t help but laugh even though it’s not really all that funny. It is one of those things that reminds me that Beata is pregnant – especially if I find the pile and she is not home.
Beata is starting to wear my t-shirts to bed since they fit better. Her healthy weight gain means that comfort is becoming more and more important as baby G grows.
The salads – wow. We eat salad three or four times per week sometimes. I have to believe that this vitamin binging has something to do with the little one growing inside of Beata. Other recent trends include take-out Chinese and we seem to always have fruit in the house now. Especially blueberries for some reason.
Half caffeinated coffee in the morning just about killed me so now I make a pot of real coffee for me and I pour it into a thermos for work and then brew some of that weak stuff for Beata. She claims half-caff’s not that bad, but I was on it for a week and between the mood swings, the lack of work productivity and me claiming that I was having some of Beata’s pregnancy symptoms (exhausted, worn out, beat up), we decided I did not have to give up my coffee. I was even sneaking twice the chocolate at work everyday and I faked a sore back in a slimy effort to declare sympathy pains because I did not want to believe that coffee meant that much to me. I was wrong.
In other news: I felt the baby kick for the first time Saturday. We were in a Catholic church for a friend’s wedding in Cleveland and Beata had a sense that Baby G was going to be dancing (Maybe it was because the congregation was singing – or rather, they were mouthing in ho-hum fashion - everyone’s favorite, “On Eagle’s Wings”) so she grabbed my hand and put it on her stomach. After a few seconds Baby G punched and kicked hard enough to cause Beata to bounce in the church pew. A few giggles and stunned looks back and forth and we were left believing this was an act of God. I mean C’mon – in church . . . the first time I had ever felt the jolt of my child’s high five and we were in church – a place we had visited together less than a handful of times in our lives. Okay, maybe not an act of God, but could it be Grandpa reminding us that God may want us to raise our child Catholic? My family thinks everything that happens is a "sign" so I have to at least pay lip service to this notion … And although I am afraid chances are nil that our child will be raised Catholic, we do plan to teach Baby G about God and several religious teachings and meaningful ways to honor God. And for me, I pray Baby G has Grandpa Tony’s integrity even if Baby G won’t be going for First Communion – after all, he was kind enough to pay us that visit in church Saturday.
A great deal of our conversation lately has turned to scheduling and our ideas about child care, Beata’s unpredictable work schedule, my coaching and everything else that will take a backseat once Baby G arrives. A little stressful but very real and necessary. Life changes. We have to change with it . . . we want to change. We know we are lucky.
It is finally sinking in that the next three months really need to continue to be soaked up and appreciated – it seems like it is one of those rare times in our lives when we know something huge – a major event in our lives and the lives of the people closest to us – is knocking at our door. We feel fortunate to have a great beginning to our marriage – traveling as much as possible to places like Yellowstone, Maui, Spain, trips to Chicago and even Mackinac Island. We have jobs that fulfill us. Most importantly, we have a great support network of family and close friends. We have one another. Now we have Baby G to bring in on all of this. (I think I have gone here before in the blog . . . )
We have some simple traditions that we are poised to keep up with like the orchard/pumpkin patch in fall and cutting down our own Christmas tree every year. Celebration of the Persian New Year (which just happens to coincide with my birthday!) will be the norm and somehow, I want to bring Persian food into the mix. We also hope to continue celebrating our July 15 anniversary with a get-away of some sort and we agree, in theory anyway, on many parenting ideas. Beyond all of the happenings and stuff, maybe one of the most important things that is easy to miss in our first years of marriage that I am most grateful for is that we have similar values.
And they tell me this parenting deal will test just about everything I said in the preceding paragraph. Fine.
We are in the excited and eager phase. Sure, we hear about all the sleepless nights and some of the challenges of breast-feeding and potty training, etc. It is impossible to know what this is all about until it is happening and we are not naïve enough to think this will be easy by any stretch. But I am not going to mask my genuine excitement.
Nope . . . I just ask that some organized soul out there copies all of this and sends it to me on some random November or December day when I may need a little reminder of all the energy I had at the beginning of the second trimester.
Cheers, Nick


06/03/08 I want to document this time in history for our baby. I am viewing the live telecast of Barack Obama celebrating his presumptive nomination as the Democratic candidate for president in 2008.
Beata just reported that Baby G kicked and fist pumped with the live TV crowd when Future President Obama said to the crowd, “You know in your heart at this moment, we owe our children a better future, we owe our nation a better future. Let us unite.”
I am unable to focus on this entry. Our baby is kicking and trying to cheer on Barack Obama from his/her little corner of the world. I will have a great deal more to say very soon and my guess is that the next entry will be a long one. Our last ultra-sound was amazing and my first high five with junior (junior could apply to a male or female)on Saturday was an experience we will be talking about for a long time.
I know we are in for an incredible ride heading into autumn ...
More later, Nick


05/27/08 Beata felt a “true” baby movement today at work. She said it felt like “little wings stretching.” Personally, I think she knew I was going to put her words in this blog so she tried to sound a bit more sophisticated. As I type this now, Beata is trying to get in “position” to feel the baby move – basically lying down at a slight angle sternly focused with her hand on her lower abdomen. She looks so determined.
Earlier this evening we got some movement. I couldn’t tell, but Beata excitedly shouted, “oh my God, this is so weird – the baby is moving!”
It must be weird feeling something move inside your body and to know that that something is actually a someone . . . a miracle indeed.
Speaking of cliché concepts that go with pregnancy, I get why they happen now. The whole “miracle of life” thing and the baby’s first movement feeling like a “flutter” or the “we just want a healthy baby and we don’t care about the gender” line . . . it’s all starting to make more sense to me now. I think I get it.
Play by play now: “Oh my God, I think he’s awake. He’s getting stronger. I think he’s dancing.”
A minute later, “Maybe it’s in my head.”
Then after that, “Hon, I am sorry but I can not believe there is a human being swimming in my stomach!”
I better stop there because I know Beata is going to get annoyed with my play by play. She has been saying some pretty funny things these days.
Anyway, this is a fun time for us. Thanks for following along.
Go to the photos and look at the most recent addition – Beata and her apple peels. I will save the story for the caption.
More later, Nick


05/24/08 Beata is in Boston over the Memorial Day weekend giving me the chance to be a bachelor for a few days. Yesterday was Chinese take-out at 6:30 p.m. and then a nap during the Tigers game from 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. followed by mindless TV until 3 a.m. I know days like this will be few and far between soon.
This morning while doing yard work, I had a lot to think about this whole, “Bringing a baby into the world” thing we have going.
Will we have a boy or a girl? Do I really care about the gender? All the books say it is normal to have a preference but I don’t really think I do have much of a preference. I am supposed to want a boy – they’re easier, dads want little boys, etc. You know the story. But there is a side of me that wants a girl. I never had a sister or many girls around me as I was growing up. My cousins Sarah and Kirsten were pretty much it and they seemed to be pretty cool. My mom has four sisters, but that’s a whole nother story. If we’re lucky, we may try to have two children. In fact, if we have a girl, it would be nice to pick a few qualities from each of my aunts and pass them on to our daughter. One trait I wish for in Baby Gregory is that he/she has my mother’s creativity and loyalty. I think I would take a dash of Grandma KK’s fire and some of that intellectual curiosity she has.
And for Beata I am confident she would say the same about passing on qualities given her mom, sister and aunts are very special people as well. But I suppose that wish to pass on qualities is not dependent on the gender of the baby at all . . . As far as choosing the right mix of traits to have in a child, I suppose you get what you get. At least that’s what my friends and family who have young children keep telling me. Babies, like children and adults, have certain personality and that’s just how it is.
As a teacher I seem to relate to female students just fine, although Beata thinks my goofiness probably gets on the nerves of some students – mainly the eye-rolling, sighing teenage girls who have “just too much going on” to think my dumb antics in the classroom are actually funny. I know, it is a TON different being a parent than it is being a teacher but I guess my point is that I think having a little girl would be pretty cool. When I mentioned the not having a little sister thing to one of my classes, a girl in class claimed with her head weaving attitude, “Having a daughter is A LOT different than having a sister. My sister is such a pain – to me and MY PARENTS. You don’t want a girl Mr. Gregory. Trust me.” My students laugh and say I will be too strict of a parent and will make my child write all the time (remember, these are mostly journalism students). It is fun to share this experience with a fairly captive audience.
In the end, it really doesn’t matter if we have a boy or a girl. Typical answer, but now I know why it. Beata really does not have a preference; however she is convinced she is carrying a boy. Speaking of Beata, to see her now - after nearly 20 weeks of pregnancy – she looks great. It is pretty remarkable to see these changes taking place. It is also easy to take it for granted since it is so gradual. Pictures do not do her justice, but we will try to post more soon. Beata really is beautiful and the baby is growing very fast.
More later, Nick


05/21/08 Beata celebrated her birthday yesterday and today baby Gregory is currently in Week 20. Beata thinks it is really only week 19. I will not get into the biology of the whole thing. Either way, Beata is glowing. Lately we have been in the habit of keeping the TV off and talking about our day, the baby, ideas we have, etc. Typically, we have a lot of the same philosophies (I know more will surface as we go) and we are both smart enough to realize that our ideas will likely change and evolve as we get the hang of this whole parenting business.
Beata is reading a book to me and just announced that 42 minutes after being born, a baby can mimic the facial expression of an adult and babies “replicate the internal state of the adult.” I love Beata but when she interrupts my blogging to read a passage like that, you can imagine my internal state of laughter (taken from the author’s jargon). Here I sit blogging away and next to me Beata is reading feverishly about how to bring a baby into the world and raise a child in a happy marriage. And how do they really understand what “internal replicating" is really going on? I can buy it I suppose, but it makes you wonder. Beata says it's part of the miracle . . .and now she is explaining that there are neurological changes in babies that can be measured for these studies. This discussion has led to a science lesson. You gotta love it. Beata is glued to that book. I should take a picture and post it but then she would know what I am up to. And just so none of you think I am a total bum, I do read from one of the six baby books lying around our house on a pretty regular basis.
In other news:
The doctor report from today is that Baby Gregory is healthy. Baby G’s heart rate was in the normal range (130) but lower than the previous two checks. Depending on who you ask, the lower heart rate means one of three things. According to the doctor, our baby could have been sleeping at the time of the check. Beata thinks the lower heart rate means we are having a boy and Uncle Dan has come to the conclusion that the baby’s relaxed state is due to his/her genetic coding directly passed on through me and my “extremely low-stress” job which includes the summer off.
We will schedule our ultra-sound for next week. I will have more to say soon.
Keep checking back…photo’s are on the way.
Nick


05/19/08 Beata thinks she can feel the baby moving once in a while. We will go in this week for the 20-week ultra-sound and within the next 4 weeks, I think any movement felt will be "for sure" movement and not just, "I think I felt the baby" movement.
Right now we are trying to plan for the winter with a baby and our work schedules, etc. I guess planning is a good thing. And like any major life changing deal, there is a lot you just can't plan. I am glad Beata is a planner though because we balance each other out.
We are excited to see Beata's family soon.


05/16/08 Names and Gender
As most of the people reading this know, we have chosen to wait for the surprise when it comes to knowing the gender of our baby. We will go in for the 20-week ultra-sound very soon and I am told that some ultra-sound technicians are better than others at “hiding” the gender from view. Regardless, I trust that we will not figure it out. We think not knowing adds to the fun. And 90% of the people who ask us if we will find out the gender respond favorably when we tell them we are waiting. I have decided that if we said we are going to find out the gender, most of that 90% would also tell us that we are doing it right. Fortunately, we don’t much care what other people think on a couple of these things . . . which transitions beautifully to my next topic – the name game.
I have watched friends/family provide the baby name list to adoring fans only to face the wrath of judgment (exaggerating, I know). For us, we think we will be able to stick to our pledge to each other to keep our finalist names to ourselves. Basically, we think we are down to maybe three names for each gender, but we keep coming back to the same two names – one for each gender. I used to compare it to getting a new puppy, but have since stopped. I guess having a puppy is much different they tell me. Ya see, I always thought it was silly to name a dog before you get the mutt. You have to see the pup before christening a name the creature will have for life. I mean think about it, a "Suzy" looks much different than a "Buster”. Just think, if you have a baby and the name Louis is THE NAME, but the baby really looks like a Michael, you must have that flexibility to change. But I now realize that whatever the name, the baby begins to look the part so the name really doesn’t matter as much as we all like to think.
The Game Show Network
I woke up at 8:30 this morning, made breakfast and flipped channels for about an hour while navigating the Web. It just occurred to me while taking in an episode of Card Sharks on the Game Show Network (GSN) that I may never actually stop on that channel again in my parenting life. Ya see, I know not everything gets replaced by the baby – just the things that really don’t mean anything . . . things like the GSN. Most people are pretty cool about telling how fulfilling and challenging parenting is and I appreciate that. I often tell Beata that it is just a new phase. We are excited. We did go through a phase of talking about all the changes and neglecting sometimes to think about all of the positive things – most of the time because it is something we just don’t fully get at the moment. We feel lucky we have been able to experience so much together – a great wedding and honeymoon, tons of travel, jobs we love, a new house and great friends and family to share all of this with, etc. Now, there will be new meaning.


05/15/08 Looking for the Persian Dora
We want – okay this is my idea – I want to find a Persian cartoon character/TV personality that speaks Farsi so our child can learn Farsi. I think Beata and her mother will speak in Farsi around the baby in the first weeks (again, my idea that I have not talked to Beata’s family about yet). I am afraid that the CD’s that are teaching me Farsi will not help me teach our baby much . . . maybe I can lean from the cartoons as well?
There must be something out there. My nephew Miles watches Blues Clues where these age 10 to mid-20 actors sing and dance in bright colored clothes and those cheesy actors have him engaged. There must be DVD’s out there for little Persian boys and girls. If you hear of anything, post it in the Guestbook.


05/12/08 Hello Friends and Family - This is where you will look for new news and some of my rambling . . . make sure to come back if you want to keep up with things - at least from my perspective. I plan to use this as a true journal blog.
Nick


05/12/08 Editors Note: If you're one of my people then you know I am a bit off the wall and you may get half of what I am saying below. If you are one of Beata's people and you do not know me, it is fair to wonder who in the world she married and maybe some of this will make sense. Probably not though.
Important Dates:
October 8 is the due date, but Beata thinks it will change to a week later. She has done some math and determined that our October 8th due date is cutting it close to conceiving during an Oregon visit that did not include me. Hmmmm? Imagine my shock when September 30 was another due date thrown our way. And all these gut feelings from Beata are getting crazy - it's a boy and the due date is a week later - based on "having a feeling" ... I don't get it.
Super Bowl Sunday- February 3, 2008: The evening Beata told me she is pregnant. It went something like this:
Beata: Hey Sweetie, I have an early Valentine's Day gift to give you.
Me: Cool. Can it wait until the game is over . . . or at least half-time? (In my head: Valentine's Day? Ugh . . . I did not get Beata a gift for Valentine's Day yet... what is she thinking getting me an early gift!?)
[As she brought out a box with a ribbon on it and asked me to turn the TV off] . . .
Me: Can I just put the TV on mute? I don't want to miss the second half. B: No, turn it off. Me: Whatever . . .
I opened the box and to my surprise, there was a shirt reading, I love my daddy! I stopped and processed this odd and unexpected gift. When I saw the result part of a pregnancy test (not the part she peed on!) that clearly read, "PREGNANT" I shot a glance over to Beata and her smirk confirmed.
A moment I will always remember.
Admittedly, it took me a minute to put this all together since we did not think we would get this blessing so quickly. Did I say quickly? I meant INSTANTLY. Over the next hour, I must have said at least a dozen times to Beata, "No Way!" It was a happy and excited no way - kind of like if you just won a free car and you just keep saying, "No Way!" like you just can't believe this could happen for you . . . We jumped around, we laughed, we hugged . . . you know how it goes. Fun. Fun. Fun.
Then it was a waiting game. It was another 7 or 8 weeks before we told our parents. After we told them, we let the news out to extended family, friends and work. We kept it secret for so long that now we are past the half-way point and it seems like time is flying by way too fast (again, this is from my perspective - maybe my pregnant wife has a different feeling on the whole time flying thing).
March 10 - Our second ultra-sound. We heard our baby's heart beat and saw the baby moving around, or as the ultra-sound technician said, we had a dancing baby. Amazing. We missed having family to share the experience, but since we wanted to tell everyone in person we had to wait until a trip to Oregon. The ultra-sound excitement was fun and made us more anxious to get to Oregon to tell everyone. By this time, the initial excitement moved into a phase of, "Whoa . . . life will be different forever . . . good and everything else..." and by then Beata was showing, but you had to look hard to notice. Besides, who says to a woman - "Hey, you look like you gained some weight - are you pregnant?" Now, Beata is showing - or how do they say it? Glowing. She looks great.
March 23 - Easter Sunday with the Balice Family and we were still keeping our secret. The car ride to and from Ionia for Easter was all about what we will name our baby, our philosophies on child rearing and planning. C'mon - can you really plan that much? This planning thing has been a good thing for us to meet somewhere in the middle . . . I loved the four hours in the car just replaying some of the moments in our marriage up to that point.
April 2 (or 3rd) - We told Beata's family. To this point only my mom knew since she drove us to the airport for our trip to Oregon. Kudos to my mom for keeping our secret in the vault! Telling Beata's family was so much fun. I found a clever way to film us telling them without them knowing. We have watched the footage and we laugh at how real the surprise was for them - especially her sister Sara. April 11/12 and week of April 13 - We told my family and started to let people at work in on the good news. It's weird, but somehow this sharing of our news with everyone fueled the excitement. I laugh when people tell us how we'll be good parents and even though I know they mean it (most of them anyway), I remember what Uncle Dan always says - "parenting is more art than science." May 11 - Mother's Day was fun. I spent time with my mom, aunt Gupp, my sister-in-law Amy and bro and their children. Holding two-week old Jude is a lot different than when I held babies in the past. My cousins were in the mix as well and I am happy that our baby will have a big family. We celebrated Mother's Day by watching a video/photo presentation I made for Beata set to some of our favorite wedding songs. I tried to have fun with it and I think I pulled it off. We made one of those promises newlyweds make and rarely follow - we pledged to watch the video every Mother's Day. I think we'll actually do this though because Beata is ... you all know how Beata is - she sticks to a good plan.
From that point to now, Beata's family has been sending cool non-maternity maternity clothes and we keep getting everyone's nice wishes . . . except from my students who say things like, "If you're too strict, your kid will rebel!" or my personal favorite, "Mr. Gregory, your baby is going to be a dork with too much energy like you" and then they imitate a little hyper annoying kid. All in fun. I guess you'd have to see it to appreciate all the fun. It is exciting to have a captive audience to share little quips and stories even if they are captive only to run the time out so the lesson plan gets delayed. (Don't worry; I never go on this long!)
If you are still reading, thanks. I guess I have a lot more to say than I originally planned on. Props to Laura and Sarah B for the blog idea. I guess you have the choice to see what I have to say - it's not like some mass e-mail I am sending out to everyone clogging up the cyber lines. And to my (snobby) family: please don't send me grammar corrections or remind of all the prepositions I end sentences with or spelling errors I make - I know I am a teacher and should follow the rules, but this is a "one-draft only off the top of my head" type of blog . . .
Possible Future Topics: The name game, the gender topic (the answer is no), family traditions and It's better to be naively optimistic than panicked by reality?
- Nick





FROM BEATA
05/10/09 Mother's Day, 2009
It was about this time last year when I’d grab my husband’s hand and frantically put it on my belly.
Feel that, I’d ask desperately? Nothing.
It was probably just my baby’s way of giving me a little sneak peak – he would do nothing on command.
But I had already learned a lesson of motherhood – the moments seem to pass faster than they come (those tiny, fleeting kicks just one of many examples.) So soak it up.
This is my first official Mother’s Day, as my son Kavaun turns seven months.
And it’s been months of firsts.
The first time his little legs (the same ones that once did ninja moves inside my belly) splashed in his bath. The first scrunched up grimace when he tried green beans. The first time he discovered his hands, decided his toes were lollipops and rolled from one side of the room to the other.
And you’d better believe it’s all captured on some kind of camera, the first time, second time, oh why not every time? That’s what digital is for right?
I actually had to put my foot down one day when my husband sighed “His first elevator ride.”
Keep the camera in your pocket, I demanded, as if my 50 shots of him eating Elmo’s eyeballs were any more reasonable.
Already, my first year of motherhood has been the most memorable of my life – a year my baby won’t have any memory of.
But I’ve realized that trading my old life for this one comes with a giant reward – the joy of watching Kavaun grow up.
I look forward to helping guide this little person as he continues to explore the world, make us laugh and experience the many firsts to come.


01/31/09 Moments:
Seeing my baby’s face light up when he hears my voice.
Rocking him to sleep cheek to cheek thinking he’s asleep ... only for him to cock his head up at me and give me a giant grin.
Watching him discover fascinating new things he can now see so clearly, like Elmo, a pillow with cool patterns, bright lights, his toes.
The way he flirts with that one-sided dimple whenever he’s around teenage girls.
Walking into his room in the morning to see him wide-awake in his crib babbling.
His love of the tongue. He wants to show it to you all the time, especially when you play patty-cake.
How eagerly he chomped down his first spoons of rice cereal the way I’d eat ice cream.
Poking at him every hour the first night he slept nearly 7 hours straight in his crib- just like everyone said I would ...
Wondering why he finds his hands so intriguing.
Watching him watch Nick- and watching Nick watch him. If love took a photograph, that’s what it would look like.
Looking at what we know as the “intense Kavaun gaze” and seeing my dad.
The way shiny drops of drool form bubbles around those lips. Kind of gross on other babies, but SO CUTE on mine : )
When he sits so relaxed in the bath all chubby and naked and looks like a little Buddha, as KK calls him.
His squeaky, pseudo scream giggle- and all the incredibly silly things my husband and I do to produce it (from tickling his tummy with our noses to singing rap songs)
Knowing we are “those parents” when we use 5 minutes of videotape just to record his snore.
Seeing his smile and thinking I've never been happier.
Not ever wanting this phase to end and getting a little sad every time I put away another outfit he was just wearing a week ago and no longer fits.


12/14/08 OK, this is waaay old. I started this blog after being home with the K-man about a month and a half but just kept getting interrupted. So here it is anyway but so much has changed and I'm working on an updated one!
Oct.28- 2008 I’m sitting here scooted up against the edge of the couch with Kavaun dangling over my chest in the Bjorn … today this is the only position he likes and it has to be just right. If I lean back too much (which by the way is much more comfortable for me) he will let me know loud and clear that he doesn’t like it. I know, it sounds like spoiling the little prince but for now, we’re just doing what works.
It’s just one of the many moments of motherhood that makes me realize how much life has changed since Sept.30. My whole day revolves around this 11-pound mini human with the chubby cheeks, dark eyes and one-sided dimple inherited from his daddy. Everything is about making him happy (is he hungry, wet, bored?) Since the day of his birth, I’ve learned that no one can truly prepare you for what’s to come. It’s more challenging and more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. Like Nick said, I’ve described these days like my golf game. Sleepless nights, showerless days, un-consolable cries, sore and exhausted body – they definitely remind me of the frustrating feeling I’ve had when I’m on my ninth hit on a par 4 hole. Then this amazing thing happens and Kavaun flashes a smile, sometimes a series of smiles. Or he makes eye contact with you or he cuddles up under your chin while sleeping and you think you never would have found snoring to be so adorable. Those are the drives that make everyone else jealous and remind you of why the game is so fun afterall.
I loved reading Nick’s letter to Kavaun because I have shared all the same moments (well, except we don’t play tall-man falling … that’s a father son thing) These are some of the most amazing experiences – the day he was born, bringing him home, his first smile … the most cherished memories of our lives but all things Kavaun will have no memory of.
It seems like an eternity since the night Nick and I left for the hospital, videotaping our nursery one last time pre-baby and still pregnant me excitedly riding in the car on the way to a journey we knew nothing about. It was only weeks ago but it already feels like a completely different lifetime because now I can’t imagine life without Kavaun in it.


08/24/08 Ok so I have completely fallen behind in this blogging business but it can be tough sometimes to write for fun after doing it all day for work! Plus, I have been quite the sleepyhead these days, crashing SUPER early for Beata time ... making a baby is exhausting :) Some of the late pregnancy stuff everyone warned me about is finally hitting me.
Well, it has been an emotional journey the last couple of months, especially going home to OR and showing off my growing belly to my family. I have loved living in Michigan for so many reasons - being adopted by and adopting a large wonderful family, finding a job I love, having a new group of friends and of course the adorable Mr.Nick Gregory :) But I can see why they say daughters usually stay close.
Going through some of my biggest life chapters (planning a wedding and now getting pregnant) so faraway from home has been unbelievably difficult. I never imagined I’d be having a baby on the other side of the country from my parents and sister. I always pictured my mom at my side shopping for maternity dresses, going to my ultrasound appointments and sharing all of the amazing parts of this experience right next to me. Going through this without my own family gives me more than a twinge of sadness sometimes (although I’m sure the hormones have something to do with it) and I feel like something is missing.
It gives me a whole new perspective about what my own parents went through when they had me in America while their family was in Iran. My grandparents' aunts' and uncles' first glimpse of me was in pictures until I was about five years old and got to meet some of them in person.
My sister was here over the weekend and it meant so much to me that she could be at my baby shower in Milford, just having a piece of my family in OR merge with my family and life in Michigan. My shower, hosted by Sarah, Amy and Michelle reminded me and gave my sister assurance that I’m loved by and surrounded by so many amazing people. I appreciated all of the planning, fun stories from some of the Balice aunts’ pregnancies and generous gifts.
My sis and I also got to share some special firsts. We spent the weekend giggling over Baby G’s kung fu kicks and late nights having silly talk about what kind of mom I would be and what kind of aunt she’ll be. As we strolled through Ann Arbor Saturday, she even got to experience some of the reactions I get — the smiles from strangers that seem to say “aww, you’re having a baby,” the assertions about what gender is in there and even the man who caught us off guard by yelling “You’re having a baby! Have a happy baby!” We laughed about that one for days. Anyway, it was fun to share those moments with her. And I appreciated that time with her even more knowing how different life will be the next time I see her.
I have so much more to say and so much more to write … more to come.


06/30/08 Reflections of a Pregnant Woman
In prehistoric times, pregnant women were seen as the most powerful and ravishing creatures in the world. It was a mystical mystery to watch a woman morph into this voluptuous goddess who one day popped out a mini human being.
They thought it was magic.
Men were awed, intrigued, even seductively entranced. Pregnant women were idolized, proven by the first religious icons ever found to be sculptures of preggo women. Or atleast that’s how the story goes, according to a book my sister Sara sent me called “Hot Mama.”
And then the day came when some man somewhere figured out the dirty little secret — that he actually played a role in this whole miracle thing. The jig was up. The “beautiful pregnant woman” became extinct, just another myth to be shelved behind unicorns and mermaids. In all different cultures, curvaceous, bosomy and sensual turned into fat and ugly. Sexy and motherly became antonyms and pregnancy was hidden instead of celebrated.
Then along came Demi Moore and her Vanity Fair brazenness. Nude and unashamed, she posed seven months pregnant on a magazine cover that some retailers yanked from newsstands, others sold only in a brown paper bag and that created a media frenzy right up there with the Monica storm. A pregnant sex symbol and daring exhibit of female empowerment sure stirred things up and that was just in 1991.
But it’s almost as if we’ve come full circle. Flaunting pregnant bellies is no longer taboo; it’s trendy. Hollywood stars show off their "baby bumps" in glitzy dresses, heels and all. Magazines are devoted to fit and sexy mamas. Some moms to be are even making "belly casts" to memorialize that giant tummy. And books like the one my sister sent me are titled "hot mama."
In the modern world of pregnant women, “beautiful” is back.
That is unless you’re the pregnant woman.
Let’s just say it took Nick awhile to convince me that documenting my ballooning belly was a “fun” idea. He looks at me the way I imagine some of those cavemen looked at their preggo ladies — with wonder and amazement. He touches my belly and marvels at the thought that inside this body is another growing body. It is magical. It should be beautiful. It is a gift.
Not that I don’t see it that way. It’s just that I also see 25 extra pounds that translate into looking longingly at those cute summer clothes I won’t be wearing this season, a set of rounder cheeks and other thicker areas. Not to mention the other wacko things your body does. But my pesky, artistic, photo-loving husband wouldn’t take no for an answer.
But now I get it. We are truly celebrating something extraordinary, a life-changing adventure whose symbol is a swelling belly.
As we started our third trimester this week, we had a little “photo shoot” in a friend’s yard. We won’t get into Nick and his creative poses ... sigh … but we actually had a lot of fun. I think I’m growing into this stranger of a body and even loving it. “Wearing” my belly does make me feel powerful and beautiful in a crazy way, like telling the world “Hey, I’m making a person in there.”
I think I might even miss it when it’s gone, so we’re soaking up the journey. Next will be motherhood .


06/15/08 Father’s Day
Dear Baby G:
You are already so loved by so many people, especially your daddy and me. Today is your dad’s first father’s day even though you are still growing inside of my tummy as I write this. But let me tell you about him:
He has wanted you for so long and he was so excited when he heard you were coming into his life; his smile was the biggest and brightest I’ve ever seen. He already has so many ideas about what to teach you, how to take care of you and protect you, what traditions and childhood memories to build for you and how you will change our lives. While I sometimes worry about all this parenting business, he will often say things like “it’s going to be so much fun.”
Your daddy is one of the most caring and compassionate men I’ve ever known and he will always be there for you. He will take you out for ice cream to make both of you happy, give you lots of hugs and kisses when you fall down and write you heart-felt letters when you graduate high school and accomplish other big things in life. But be warned: he will undoubtedly embarrass you with your prom date and friends because he’s also kind of goofy.
He likes to tell “knock knock” jokes and thinks puns are really funny. And when you’re about to go somewhere together and you tell him you’ll be ready as soon as you change, he’ll give you a worried look and say “But I like you just the way you are.” Your daddy may also make up funny stories to make you laugh like telling you that he used to have 12 toes.
Let’s just say there will be many times in life when you will say “my parents are weird.”
Also, prepare to be your daddy’s favorite photo subject. He will take thousands of pictures of you but that’s because he loves preserving memories and he will be so excited to show off how cute you are. But your daddy can also be a grumpy bear, especially when he falls asleep on the couch late at night (always be gentle when you wake him up) or when he skips his morning coffee (BEWARE when this happens). He may also be strict at times and tell you when he’s disappointed but only because he wants to teach you important life lessons.
You should know how blessed he feels to be your daddy even though you’re not here yet and that you are a very lucky baby to have him as your dad. Love Mama


06/14/08 A gift to my baby:
According to all the baby sites, Baby Gregory can hear almost as well as an adult now. So I’m imagining loud echoes inside the womb the way those babies heard noises in “Look Who’s Talking.”
Yikes, that must sound scary.
But of course this leads to “talking to the baby” (pretending there really is a science to it all). And as Nick so accurately describes in one of my “play-by-plays” I have started speaking Farsi to my tummy.
I figure that at this point, everything he hears sounds foreign so I can at least make all those “Kh” and “sh” sounds a tad more familiar. Nick laughs because he has no idea what I’m saying, but I think Baby G understands things like “I love you already” just as well in Farsi as he does English.
And language is actually one of the biggest gifts I hope to give him (or her).
I guess Farsi isn’t the most practical second language to teach a child unless he plans to work for the CIA but it’s a big part of who I am, who my family is and where Baby G comes from.
I’m actually one of the lucky ones. With a grandmother who only spoke Farsi living with us in our house and being the host of the children’s show on my dad’s Persian TV show, I was forced to speak it and practice it regularly. Somewhere along the way, I became fluent.
But we know children born to two Iranian parents in America who can barely speak a word of it. I've always thought that was so sad. Not that it's going to be easy since I rarely have the opportunity to speak Farsi anymore (although Nick could start learning too :)) But it is a part of me I promise to do my best to pass on to Baby G.
Maybe we can even become one of those couples who puts headphones on the baby tummy ... a little love for the Beatles and his mom’s “rhythm” wouldn’t be so bad to pass on either.


06/03/08 Nick and I generally get two reactions to our decision not to find out the sex of the baby. One is “Oh, good for you, it’s so much more fun that way.” The other comes with a baffled, disappointed, even slightly judgmental look and “Why not? How are you going to plan?”
There are so few true surprises anymore. For me, finding out if we’re having a boy or girl would be like opening my Christmas present before Christmas.
No matter what, the phone calls family and friends receive that day will be exciting ... I mean a new person will have entered the world! But how much more fun is it to hear “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl”? We’re pretty sure if we knew the gender, we would also have definitely picked a name. So then the phone call would go something like “Bob arrived.”
That being said, it wasn’t easy to watch someone else learn our top secret news before us. At our 21-week ultrasound, the lab technician checked out all of the anatomy. She knew and we knew she knew but we had to say “Don’t tell us."
After the ultrasound though, I couldn't help analyzing. Like when she brushed over some parts with an ominous “Oh you don’t want to see that,”I thought “Hmm, there’s only one thing I can think of that I shouldn’t see ...”
As I went through my analysis with my mom, she laughed, saying “You’re spending all this time agonizing over any tiny clue the technician may have given you when you could have just asked!”
I know, but guessing is part of the fun.
And of course, there are always the old wives tales. Based on those, there is no doubt I’m having a boy. I was barely sick the first trimester, the heartbeat is below 140 and I’m carrying low and like a basketball. I even had a dream I had a boy. Like Nick had no sisters, I had no brothers and for me, the idea of playing trucks and cars and racing after a rambunctious little boy sounds like so much fun.
But then little girls are so darn cute ... until they grow up and get difficult :) Either way, it will be the happiest, most genuine surprise of our lives and I can’t wait.


05/30/08 - Reality and the Ultrasound - Okay, I know I’ve been the blogging slacker and many of you are wondering what the new mom thinks about all of this craziness.
People get pregnant and have babies everyday, EVERYDAY someone is bringing a new life into the world. I even read somewhere that 4 babies are born a second. So you’d think people would stop calling it a miracle. But echoing the daddy-to-be, I totally get it now.
The reality of what is about to happen to us has finally sunk in. It started when I realized that my skinny jeans no longer zipped. That was pretty reasonable, I thought. Pregnant woman are called lots of nice things - “glowing,” “radiant,” even “beautiful” (we know some of you are totally lying by the way). But there is one word you never hear about a pregnant woman and that’s “skinny.”
Then came the day when I could barely squeeze into those flowy, usually very genie-like capris that need a belt looped on the last hole to stay up. That day I looked in the mirror and finally gave in, saying out loud “You are actually in there.”
The denial was over.
Skip forward to today when our little son or daughter got his or her big photo shoot that the doctors call an ultrasound. The magic wand slid around my belly to capture the inside of a brain, chambers of a fast-beating heart and even a little foot clearly showing five tiny toes. We even watched his mouth gulp and the doctor told us he was swallowing.
That little person who, yes feels like he's swimming in my tummy, is part me, part Nick. Part my parents, part his and all before them. Right now, this is a stranger but soon it will be someone with his own personality, life and dreams. It takes nine months to create a new human being who right now is breathing, eating, stretching and even yawning inside of ME. It is a miracle.




FROM BABY GREGORY (KAVAUN)
Jul 07, 2009



My daddy is now journaling at
http://summerdaddy.blogspot.com
E-mial him at ngregory@fenton.k12.mi.us to be invited.
Nov 29, 2008



Hey family and friends -
My mom started a blog entry last week then I started crying and demanding her attention so she never got back to it. I know my daddy blogs all the time, but it will be nice for you to see what my mom has to say. Just know that when she gets a minute, my mom will probably have a lot to say. She goes back to work December 8. I am happy for her to go back to the profession she loves and I know she will miss me. I will miss mommy but I will be okay. Tonya, my new day care provider, is super nice and fun and she will come to my house Mon. - Thurs. and then Grandma KK comes to town for Thursday night anf Fridays. Yahoo! From 3:30 to 5:30 I get to be with daddy before he goes to basketball practice. By that time my mom will be home from work so I will get time with both of them. I think I will tire them out.
Also, my daddy keeps saying he has new pictures to upload to this site. He ought to - he takes so many, i see red spots in my head when I close my eyes for a nap. That flash is bright.
I am loving Oregon. Everyone here thinks I am the cutest baby in the world. They even think it is cute when I cry. I have everyone wrapped around my little finger.
I can't wait to see all of you soon.
Love, Kavaun Balice
Oct 23, 2008



Hey Family and Friends - I am excited to finally meet you!
Mom and dad talk about all the cool people I will get to meet, but they seem to struggle scheduling vistors.
So . . . pick a Saturday, Sunday or even a weekday and pitch it to daddy. They would love to have you spend the night even. For real. Then get on over here to see me. I am growing fast and I love all of your gifts.
As for a trip to Ionia, they will bring me relatively soon I am sure, but they don't know. They are busy living moment to moment I guess.
Oh, and I am sorry I will miss you this Thanksgiving. I will be in Oregon. Yes, Persians celebrate Thanksgiving Uncle Dan!
Love, Kavaun
Jul 30, 2008



Hello family, friends and fans - This is Baby G.
Hey, I know my mom is slacking in her journal entries but I am happy to report that from my viewpoint, everything is going well. I keep growing and moving around quite a bit. It seems like the more I move and grow, the more tired mom gets. My guess is that she will have something to add to her journal very soon. Let's face it though - mom works quite a bit and writing is part of her profession so I guess she deserves the break. And my dad - he has been wating for an opportunity like a blog to come around so he could get back into writing. He gets into this stuff, but even that will drop off once I arrive out there and school starts back up for him. Besides, he has a lot of summer flexibility unlike mom.
Just wanted to let you know that while I am due to arrive September 30, I would like to get out earlier I think. And I have told my parents that I do not want too many pictures by them in my early days. Hey, I will be tired when I get out of here and I have so much to learn.
Later, Baby G
Jun 04, 2008



READ MOM and DADs JOURNAL above READ MOM and DADs JOURNAL READ MOM and DADs JOURNAL READ MOM and DADs JOURNAL READ MOM and DADs JOURNAL
May 11, 2008



Hey . . . I am not even born yet so you will have to read my dad's blog until I get to 24 weeks IT (I T stands for, "In Tummy").
At 24 weeks, my mom and dad will use new technology (babotalopothy: pronounced, babe-o-tell-a-pathy)to transfer my thoughts and ideas onto this site. Come back in June and maybe I will have added something meaningful.
- Baby Gregory







MILESTONES

Kavaun Balice Gregory
Milestones page
A Keepsake record of your child's important Firsts'.
Milestone
Months
First Smile

Raise Head

First Laugh

Hold Object

Roll Over

Say First Word

Sit Up

First Tooth

Play Peek-A-Boo

Crawl

Pick Up Object

Wave

First Step

Walking

Drink From Cup







Add Your Own Milestones Here That Are NOT Listed Above.
Examples: First Haircut, First Shoes, Count to 10,
Slept Through The Night, No More Highchair, etc.
Milestone Title:

Months




Milestone Months
Slept >2 days for 5 consec. hrs. 4.0 months


First Crawl exact date ~ May 20 8.0 months


First teeth = bottom May 16 7.5 months


Loves the exer-saucer ~ May 7 7.0 months


Beata claims he says, "mama" = early May 7.0 months


Protective gate asembled by dad = May 24 8.0 months


Favorite toy is ripping magazines and tissue paper 8.0 months


Pulled himself up to stand (May 26) 8.0 months


Top teeth barely showing June 6, 2009 8.5 months


Other favorite toys: shoes, cords, balls 8.5 months


Cheerios June 6, 2009 8.5 months


Throwing his paci out of the crib 8.0 months





FAVORITES


Kavaun Balice Gregory
Favorites page
Favorite toys, movies, TV shows, food, etc. Edit changes as your child grows and matures.
= Add/Edit Favorites

Favorite Ways to Touch Mommy's Heart
Everything I do seems to touch her heart. Daddy said she filmed me snoring so I guess snoring is my final answer. She gets a kick out of my snores!

Favorite Ways to Touch Daddy's Heart
Smile in the middle of crying

Favorite Toys
Talking Elmo, Rapping mommy, stuff to suck on

Favorite TV Shows
Soundscapes Music Channel. New Age music and some classic rock as well

Favorite Movies
I love watching sports with daddy - especially when it is the green team (MSU)

Favorite Songs
The Rose - Bette Midler. Long story, but it has to do with my Aunt Sara's beautiful voice. I also like Persian music.

Favorite Foods
I have to say breast milk, but this new rice cereal is pretty good. I am cool with formula too. My parents hope I am not too picky later on too.

Favorite Flowers
I do not like flowers much, but daddy says that he might buy ear plugs and carry me on his back while he mows the lawn in the summer. I love yard work and will do it all the time for my family without being asked or told to do it.

Favorite Clothes
I like to wear oversized clothes - it's the urban style. I look good in earth tones, but truth is I am happiest in just a diaper . . . or nothing at all.

Favorite Animals
I love geckos and imitate them all the time by sticking my tongue out. I also like the platypus - such a unique creature... (I inherited dorkiness from my mom, can't help it)

Favorite Friends
I love my cousins most. I also like my baby sitters and Tonya. I have a pretty good gig going here, but really can't wait until summer to hang with daddy all day. We will visit mommy at work twice a week too!


Add Your Own Favorites Here That Are NOT Listed Above.
Favorite Title:


Favorite Text:







Favorite Story
The story about when mommy met daddy in London. I also like how mommy told daddy I was in her tummy on Super Bowl Sunday. Oh, and that story about Grandma KK sometimes putting daddy and Uncle Ryan in bed dressed for school so she would not have to fight with them to get ready ... she is unconventional


Favorite Pose
I like the Zoolander, but my favorite is hands behind my head chillin. Mommy gets a kick out of it.


Favorite Time of Day
About 7 a.m. I am pretty happy and if I get good sleep, I am tons of fun around noon typically.


Favorite Place to Hang
I dig the changing table. I also like hanging in the bath tub with daddy. Sometimes I pee and it makes him laugh. I know better than to poo though...


Favorite Event of the Day
When mommy gets home from work and she has so much energy and immediately drops everything from her day and plays with me. We laugh. We hug. We even talk. Then she usually rocks with me with a permamnent smile glued to her face. My mommy can make just about everything fun.





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