How do you comfort your six year old after a death when you struggle to find comfort yourself?
I am so incredibly sad and heart broken and somehow I hope my words on this screen will help me cope. I try my hardest not to search for answers to the questions I do not know how to ask.
If my heart aches this much then what about the other people? A son, a father, a husband, a friend, a colleague. All of it.
I have never felt an emptiness and heartache like this and it brings back memories from losing my brothers best friend in high school. I was only 16 then and it hurt differently. I am a father and husband now and this pain is ripping through me in ways that I cannot grasp right now. Sometimes I cry and can't stop. Other times, my mind can go somewhere else. I know it is healthy
I feel like I am not even present sometimes and that other times presence washes over me and brings more sadness. No real peace. Just sadness. My own sadness. Raw. Felt for the loss. Not even anger, but the most immense sadness I have ever felt.
Being a father and being closer to 40 than 20 shapes my feelings differently and I feel that I have so much unfinished in my own life as a dad and husband.
Right now I am just sad. There are no words and no matter how long I keep typing this sadness will take some time to heal. His family will remain in my heart and in my thoughts. I selfishly hope that our boys become great friends and I can see new hope unfold. If I cannot witness it, I hope there are ways I can know and share in some happiness down the road.
I will try my best to be my best and take the influence you had in our short time and pass it on the way you would.
I am so incredibly sad and heart broken and somehow I hope my words on this screen will help me cope. I try my hardest not to search for answers to the questions I do not know how to ask.
If my heart aches this much then what about the other people? A son, a father, a husband, a friend, a colleague. All of it.
I have never felt an emptiness and heartache like this and it brings back memories from losing my brothers best friend in high school. I was only 16 then and it hurt differently. I am a father and husband now and this pain is ripping through me in ways that I cannot grasp right now. Sometimes I cry and can't stop. Other times, my mind can go somewhere else. I know it is healthy
I feel like I am not even present sometimes and that other times presence washes over me and brings more sadness. No real peace. Just sadness. My own sadness. Raw. Felt for the loss. Not even anger, but the most immense sadness I have ever felt.
Being a father and being closer to 40 than 20 shapes my feelings differently and I feel that I have so much unfinished in my own life as a dad and husband.
Right now I am just sad. There are no words and no matter how long I keep typing this sadness will take some time to heal. His family will remain in my heart and in my thoughts. I selfishly hope that our boys become great friends and I can see new hope unfold. If I cannot witness it, I hope there are ways I can know and share in some happiness down the road.
I will try my best to be my best and take the influence you had in our short time and pass it on the way you would.
