A walk with a princess

I started my day with an early morning walk through our neighborhood with Roya June.

She was wearing a princess dress and she held my hand the entire 30 minutes of our adventure. We talked. We walked really slow. No place to be but in the moment.

It was one of those moments I soaked up really good. A highlight. I left my phone and my camera behind and let her lead the way.

Need to do things like this more often.

Cartoons, heels and statistics

7:49 a.m.

Weekend Morning

Roya in pjs covered by a second layer of her princess dress, complete with "heels"

Cartoons on TV

Kavaun in his undies patterned with fish as he checks baseball scores on my phone, recording the most important statistics in his special book of stats

Coffee lukewarm

Perfect start

Summer nostalgia

Listening to my kids giggle, yell and scream with their neighborhood friends is the perfect backdrop to a summer that has allowed me to basically slow to a screeching halt with days wide open.

Managing to save the dishes and vacuuming for the time slot right before dinner preparation, I do appreciate the simple sounds of summer.

It all kind of reminds me of what my summers as a kid on King Street might have sounded like if anyone was listening.

Wouldn't change a thing.

Road Trip: Embracing fatherhood by the inning

A PHOTO GALLERY is included at the bottom

Leading off

PNC Park, Pittsburgh. 

When my seven-year-old son Kavaun "bunted" his way on base in tee-ball because he could beat an infield throw I knew he had fallen in love with the game.

Baseball is one of the bridges I have to Kavaun's heart. We listen on the car radio, watch on TV and when we're lucky we make it to Comerica Park in Detroit, his favorite, to see our Tigers a few times each summer.

Baseball, with all of it's quirky conventions and traditions, is becoming our shared language. In the last few weeks we have talked about hitting for the cycle, throwing the high heat and the suicide squeeze. The kid is a sponge. 

Baseball has been the backdrop to every summer of my life since I was Kavaun's age so I get his curiosity about a game with so many obscure customs. Recently on our list of discussion topics about the game: The jinx of mentioning the no-hitter and the fact that the winning team celebrates on the field after every single win with high-five lines and special hand shakes. 

I understand that the interests of children come and go and since our passions are intersecting now, I am taking full advantage. I planned a weekend he will always treasure.

Beata bought Kavaun the MLB Passport Book

for our trip. The book includes all kinds of 

gameday information for Kavaun to record in

addition to getting a stamp to validate our stop

at each ballpark. He loves this book.

Our three day adventure included 900 miles in our rental car, three baseball games - one with Kavaun's other favorite team, the Cubs. We packed a cooler, ate turkey sandwiches in the car and added 27 innings to our growing list of sporting events shared together.

We hit "The Jake" in Cleveland for a Friday night game with the Yankees, then it was off to see the Triple-A Columbus Clippers at home Saturday before taking in a Sunday 1:30 game at PNC Park in Pittsburgh against the first place Cubs. Both major league games had standing room only seating on gameday so I was happy I planned ahead and got tickets. We were gifted Pirates tickets and a place to stay in Pittsburgh with family and that added to our incredible experience.

This weekend was different than our other adventures as fans because we weren't going to the games because of the teams. We were going to experience the ballparks together.

Baseball gives its fans permission to sit quietly, eat, talk and do whatever fans choose to do at their leisure. We soaked it up and carried over our satisfying pace into long car rides, treats and the kinds of simple moments that by themselves seem ordinary but add up to memorable days. 

Like the game of baseball, our twenty-seven innings together were relaxing and measured by simple pleasures like cotton candy and discussing the sac fly. Shade breaks, hot dogs and the huge scoreboards tracking other games gave us plenty to see and do.  

The Line-up

CLEVELAND INDIANS - July 8, 2016 

Rivals of the Tigers, First Place in AL Central

Progressive Field, Cleveland.

AKA "The Jake" as it was called Jacobs 

Field for its first 13 seasons. We moved 

down a few sections for this photo.

• Our weekend stadium tour started at "The Jake" in Cleveland and we were among the first 100 fans in the stadium at 5 pm which gave us time to catch batting practice. An Indians employee working on the field saw Kavaun standing behind the right field fence watching in awe as big leaguers took BP and he tossed a ball up to him from the field level. Naturally, it made Kavaun's day and we got to spend the next hour or so just hanging out and touring the stadium. 

• For about 30 minutes, Kavaun stood along the short fence on the third baseline begging for baseballs and autographs and watching big leaguers whose names he knew stretch and get ready for game 87. Eventually, we had to make our way up to the highest point of the stadium in Row W on the first baseline. It was a gorgeous night and a steep climb up to a beautiful view.

• Our rival Indians drilled the Yankees 10-2 which did not sit well with Kavaun initially. The post-game fireworks were almost as impressive as the five home runs Cleveland hit. Mike Napoli hit a 463-foot bomb to leftfield which we admired. The nearly sold-out crowd was rocking and that made for a fun evening with the fans sitting around us. 

• Kavaun did play-by-play announcing for parts of the fourth, fifth and sixth innings. The people sitting next to us got a kick out of his style. I think he fashions himself after Dan Dickerson (Tigers Radio Network) which makes me smile.  

COLUMBUS CLIPPERS - July 9, 2016

Triple A Cleveland Affiliate (used to be Yankees 1979-2006) 

First Place International League West

First Mate Krash. The other 

Clippers mascot is Lou Seal.

• Huntington Park was cozy and pretty cool. The Clippers welcomed their rival the Indianapolis Indians (second place) for a 1:15 make-up game. As the first of a double-header, the crowd was thin.

• We had seats in the first row on the first baseline right next to the Clippers bullpen. The pitching coach gave Kavaun a ball and we preceded to watch the Clippers get crushed 14-4.

• A great minor league ballpark, but after coming from attendance nearing 40K in Cleveland Kavaun thought is seemed small. He mentioned it more than once. 

• Along with his critique of the starting pitcher ("He's getting crushed." "He's doesn't get anyone out." "He'll never make it to the Indians"), Kavaun mentioned we should have gone to the nightcap and not the day game. When we checked the score Sunday on our way to the ballpark (8-2 Clippers W in front of a sellout crowd that night), he felt vindicated. He was thinking about baseball while I had to worry about a three hour drive. We would not have arrived in Pittsburgh to stay with family until after 1 a.m. had we done it Kavaun's way. Instead, we took our time and got to Pittsburgh by 7 p.m. 

PITTSBURGH PIRATES - July 10, 2016 

Playing at the beautiful PNC Park against the First Place Cubs

He wanted another Cubs hat, but they 

did not have a youth hat. Kavaun decided

a Pirates hat to remember our day would

be just fine. He is holding the game ball 

we got in the ninth inning. 

• Did I mention that PNC Park exceeded the hype? Wow. An incredible venue to watch a game. We sat right behind the Pirate dugout about 10 rows back. I was closer to the action at PNC than when I attend most high school games.

• We saw a great game and a Cubs W made it exciting for Kavaun. The 6-5 game had a little bit of everything - back and forth leads, home runs and even a couple plays at the plate. Kris Bryant, one of Kavaun's favorites, had the game-winning hit for the Cubs.

• Heading into the bottom of the ninth, Pirates third baseman David Freese threw a ball into the stands and I caught it for Kavaun. His third ball in three games! We have attended maybe ten baseball games together and I think he has come home with a ball six times. Lucky kid!

• Kavaun got a Pirates hat to remember the day and to add to his hat rotation at home - Tigers, Orioles and Cubs. When he plays games with his buddies or when he plays and announces games solo, he uses the different hats as part of the production.

• I will let the photos tell the story (below), but without a doubt the PNC experience was the highlight of the entire weekend. In addition to an incredible park, the game day atmosphere, the people and the setting of the part in relation to the rivers and the city is extraordinary. I will definitely go back to PNC Park. 

The Closer 

Kavaun loves the game. More importantly to me, he is passionate about the things he enjoys and that is admirable no matter where his interests in life take him.

Baseball has been the source of a lot of fun for

Kavaun. I have countless pictures from his first

two Little League seasons. Kavaun is animated.

Taking his age into account, I think he enjoys the subtlety that makes baseball great. He keeps stats and the rules and language associated with the game intrigues him. Thanks to the 162-game season he is getting a taste of the slower pace baseball offers and losing and he is beginning to grasp that winning streaks happen to everyone.

The nuances that make certain players merely good while others are special piques his curiosity. Kavaun talks about Jake Arrieta's stuff (Cubs) and notices Trout's (Angels) RBI totals. He gets mad when the Tigers bullpen blows a lead or when the Cubs lose a series to a sub .500 team. He asks me why people hate the Yankees and he can't believe it's been more than 30 years since the Tigers won a World Series (we watched final game v. the Padres on Youtube together).

There are more than 2,400 major league games each season and baseball binds generations of fans together with nostalgia. Baseball has a dependable appeal steeped in the slim possibility of something happening that has never happened over the course of more than 200,000 games. The lure of the rare perfect game or seeing someone hit for the cycle looms over a bunch of otherwise ordinary games.

Kavaun often says to me after the first hit given up in a ballgame, "There goes the chance for a no-hitter." I smile every time he says it because it reminds me that for a seven year old boy the possibility of something special always exists. Another nostalgic reminder of my youth I suppose.

We loved PNC Park and the final stop on our

road-trip proved to be worth the wait. An 

awesome game day experience and a Cubs W.

Maybe it's the nature of a game that is without any time limits, is played outdoors and is associated with traditions and unwritten rules that also appeals to fans like me. All of the obscure things - the infield fly rule, the 108 stitches on every major league ball or the unintentional intentional walk also makes an awesomely boring game interesting to fans like us.

Baseball makes room for all kinds of fans as long as they aren't in a hurry.

I loved playing ball and this game continues to be the backdrop to events and relationships that bring joy to my life. I am mindful that I will not always be able to hoist Kavaun up on my shoulders for the seventh inning stretch, but I expect we'll always be smiling when we join the crowd to sing, Take Me Out to the Ballgame.

For now, baseball reminds me to simply enjoy the pace and to find joy in the ordinary moments that make up the seasons of fatherhood.

Twenty seven pictures below - one for each inning ...

 

 

Cereal

Ever need a reminder of how precious time is? 

Eating cereal in a quiet kitchen with children. Kavaun shirtless, Roya clutching her stuffed animal and both chewing with mouths wide open, talking about stuff ... a new day. 

Heart filled

There is no greater joy right now than sitting in a lawn chair watching Kavaun play little league baseball while Roya makes friends and plays games using her imagination.

Just wanted to get that on the record because when I eventually miss these days it is nice to know that I realize it now. I will soak it up. Heart filled.

reaching

you just got up from your bed
after you went to the bathroom
you moved the foot stool in front of the sink
washed your hands
ran back to bed

made me kinda sad
hearing you move that stool
is like everything else
a beautiful
and simple
phase

roya june, rest
tomorrow we do it again

An Open Letter to My Favorite Spartan

Dear Kavaun,

Spartan Stadium magic

You are only seven years old so my advice leading up to the kick-off of our biggest Spartan football game together is simple: have fun cheering on our team.

Tonight we get to cheer our Spartans in a battle with the Alabama Crimson Tide and the winner gets to play for a National Championship. Even with my immense pride for MSU, I could have only imagined this when I was closer to your age than my own.

Buddy, there are two things I know better than anything  - you and the thrill of being a devoted fan. You have helped me get a grip on what these games mean as an adult and I want to begin shaping what they will mean for you. I have more than thirty years of fan experience that I hope can help you in your long journey as a fan. 

So, listen up.

 

Do your best to enjoy being a fan

I have to take responsibility for the sports fan DNA you inherited. You wear your enthusiasm on your sleeve. You get excited during the announcement of the starting line-ups and you hum the fight song while you play outside. This is the upside to the passion we both share for our Spartans. Together, we can also overcome some of the inherent challenges you face as a fan due to your genetic composition. My boy, you feel each possession of the game just like I did. You wonder why we punt on 4th-and-1 and sacks hurt you more than they should. You yell at the TV and you demand explanations from officials. I still recall when you questioned Coach Izzo during the B1G Championship last year. I get it. You were hurting. With time and experience, you can get a handle on these emotions just as I have.

Being a fan should be more fun than stress.

I am here to help you navigate so please hear me out and read this again in a few years. The lessons will remain long after the confetti is swept up and Coach Dantonio's press conference ends.

Being a fan of a winning team can be intoxicating, but the best fans love their team more than they love winning. Believe me, I know. Love for a team is precisely why it hurts so much to lose. Love for a team is also why we actually feel empathy for teams that lose in the toughest circumstances - even our rivals. Sports Fan Empathy is a feeling that develops at different rates for fans and I am proud that you seem to have achieved this much quicker than your old man. Hang on to your sincere appreciation of the tangled mess that is broken fan heart. It eventually gets all of us and we mustn't rub salt in the open wounds when our team causes it. 

Our tickets to a game

Son, enjoy being a Spartan fan no matter the results of tonight's game.

Dance with each touchdown.

Wince on each sack.

And feel your heart beat through your size 7 Spartan jersey on each field goal attempt.

Most of all, somewhere in the back of your mind remember there will be many more plays to feel in your lifetime. Turn yourself over to this game and allow yourself to feel this one. When it's over, start the process all over with the next game. 

At your age it can be tough to find that line between how much you love your team and how much you love winning. Unlike my childhood cheering the Spartans, you have not had much practice trying to figure out which you love more - cheering a winner or cheering your Spartans. In your seven years, those two ideas have been the same thing.

It's okay to be happy about that fact, but you must remember what I told you about the 1991 season and how our Spartans managed only three wins. I still love that team and to this day, I can tell you who started and how we lost. That '91 season was when I decided to wear MSU clothes to school on the Monday after they lost so everyone could see my support. That long season is why I still put on my green and white when we lose. I want you to be the same way as a fan - love our team despite the tough losses and droughts. Hang on to hope. Be proud. Do not let losing numb the enthusiasm you inherited. Some fans have to actually work at getting worked up, but God gave us the gift. Embrace it.  Use your enthusiasm and pride for good, not evil.

When it hurts, it's okay to cry

Crying after a Tiger loss.

I can't even count on my hands the amount of times I have been moved to tears as a passionate fan.

With that intense devotion and love for a team, it is critical that you not let it harden your overall enjoyment. Crying is okay. Don't suppress it because those feelings will emerge one way or another. Unfortunately, I have seen many fans fall prey to losing as the nasty tentacles of cynicism and negativity choked out the fresh optimism of each new season. Crying beats cynicism every time.

Kavaun, when I was a young Spartan I turned my broken fan heart toward learning about our history as Spartans. Remember how I told you those varmints from Ann Arbor tried to keep us out of the Big Ten? That happened long before "Little Brother" and the "Flint Stones". Remember when we watched the Big Ten Classic about the 1966 Game of the Century? This is as much a part of who we are as the struggles that led to Coach D taking over Spartan Football. Embracing our history - all of it -  makes us stronger fans who do not fear reaching higher.

Son, there are MSU fans among us that needed all of the last decade to rid themselves of doubt and insecurity. Some Spartan fans are still in the final stages of overcoming their fear of losing on a big play. Trust me Kavaun, I never chose that path and it was the best fan choice I made when I was impressionable. I learned how to eventually lose as a fan with experience and I am afraid that due to Spartan championships and several clutch wins you will eventually have to learn these lessons in some other way later on.

When it happens, be strong. Please don't take as long as I took to learn how to lose with grace. Nobody likes an excuse-making, obnoxious sore loser. Your developmental years (now) have been shaped by winning and expecting to win. Remember the creed of Spartans much older than you who wandered thirsty through the desert of sustained program mediocrity over decades - you should never take cheering winners for granted. Exercise your fan-hood with class. I will be here to help you recognize the lessons and grow from them son. (Truthfully, you will be given a free pass until about age 16, then other sports fans will expect more of you)

Cheer, don't gloat.
Cry, don't blame.
Most of all, feel. 

With this Spartan Football Program, you will have to save most of your tears for celebrating though - a lesson we learned together watching last year's Cotton Bowl comeback. Remember how mad you were before our come-from-behind dramatic victory? You begged me to turn the TV off. I am so glad we kept watching in between wiping your nose and drying our tears. Hugging and dancing in our living room on that cold January day is one of my favorite memories with you. We learned that lesson about keeping hope again on October 17, 2015 when our Spartan Rangers answered their mission in Ann Arbor for a thrilling victory. You will see in your lifetime as a fan, that the game is not over until the clock hits zeroes son. Fans young and old need to be reminded of that lesson.

Lorenzo White, Spartan Champion

All in, with a vim

In order to really enjoy this fan thing, get on the roller coaster. Go all in 100%, with a vim just as our fight song implores us (vim means to do so with remarkable energy and enthusiasm). The people who do not get on this roller-coaster fail to feel the wins or losses the same way we do. With each replay we re-enact on our living room floor we benefit from going all in. Sure, people will refer to those bored fans as, "sane" or having their "priorities in order", but the fans who value fan safety over emotional investment will never understand our dance.

And our dance is special.

Son, embrace all that feeling and appreciate other fans. Be vulnerable and share the fun and nervousness with others. High-fiving a co-worker you don't even like much and hugging complete strangers just because you both wear green shirts - that's the fan experience. Always run full speed into the open arms of Spartans celebrating an interception and scream at the top of your lungs for a key third down stop. This is living.

And when it doesn't work out, don't turn inward - lean on your fellow fan for support and to vent. Surround yourself with like-minded fans and take joy in friendly banter with rival fans. Some of those fans will be just like you - enthusiastic and proud. Respect that fact. It should remain fun most of the time, if not all the time. Again, these lessons took root for me more recently and I want to save you the pain.  

Win with grace. Lose with class. Remain mindful that while we cheer with all our heart, the players and coaches control the results of the game. We will have to talk about referees soon because at seven years old, you have given them way too much "influence" in your thinking. Our role is to cheer loyally, try not to take it too seriously and above all, cherish loving something that has us so invested and excited.

Son, enjoy the ride and be grateful you have a team to love. Some fan insecurity can be fun I suppose, but it is when you eventually let go of what "other fans have" and embrace how and why you love YOUR team that marks reaching the mountaintop. Loving your team even when you wonder if they love you back makes this a ride worth taking over and over again.

Unlike me, a fan who reached adulthood before I could truly shed the last of my fan insecurity, you only know Michigan State championships. Like you son, I love being a fan of a winner. As you grow older though, I hope your perspective as a fan of Izzo and Dantonio-led programs will encompass more than W's in big games. When I was a boy, my fandom survival depended on my ability to adapt with a devotion that grew stronger with losses than wins. You have witnessed twice as many big-time MSU victories in your life than I did in in the twenty years before your mom married me. You are too young to appreciate it all now, but these are special times. I will constantly remind you of this fact because I know that special times are to be appreciated in the moment.

All of this makes you fortunate, and that good fortune is the subject of my final and most important piece of advice Kavaun. Stay with me bud because the next part may require a second and third read when you get to be closer to my age.

You make being a Spartan more meaningful

Together we have attended a half-dozen games and they always end with us celebrating and singing

Victory for MSU together. We have swayed together to the beautiful MSU Shadows in Spartan Stadium, danced for the stadium jumbo-tron and we even visited my freshman dorm room at 6 East Wilson Hall (I know, you are still confused about that one). 

Kavaun on the Spartan Stadium scoreboard at his first game.

We have watched countless other victories on TV that paved the way for three Big Ten Football championships and three NCAA Final Fours in your lifetime alone.

These are remarkable accomplishments for our Spartans and what you need to understand is that my enjoyment of these fan experiences are more meaningful because we are in it together.

When I showed up to campus for my first semester at MSU more than twenty years ago I could not have imagined enjoying anything more fulfilling as a fan than cheering championship programs built on integrity, great leadership and dramatic victories on the national stage.

Now, I am reminded that sharing all of this with my favorite fan is bigger than the game itself. While we both enjoy cheering a winner, I no longer need a winner to make my fan experience complete. 

I have you for that.

Love, 

Your Spartan Baba

Our MSU - Oregon game day in 2014. Your mom and Roya were Ducks and on that day, the Ducks got us. We still cheer for the Ducks when they don't play MSU. Even though your mom works at UM, I must admit that if she was a UM fan there might be strain in our marriage. A part of you must always stay Green buddy!

I love being a Spartan and a lot of that is because of my MSU college experience with my friends pictured here. This crew from the 6 East Wilson dorm helped me find balance as a Spartan. To that point, it was ALL ABOUT SPORTS and MSU tradition and history.  Now, sports is the frosting on the cake and the relationships I have from MSU and my experience on the Banks of the Red Cedar make it valuable. Together, our Spartan Family grew and this is a big part of the fan story for me in 2015. Many of the people in this picture are at the Cotton Bowl and I could not be more happy for them.

Seven !

No way you can be seven already. I have loved most of it and without a doubt I now see myself, in part, through your eyes. Imperfections and all, this ride has been the most meaningful experience in my life. Dad is who I am. Thank you.

As I sit downstairs typing this note, your sister is singing Happy Birthday Kavaun in her bed. We are all so happy to have you in our lives. May you always know this in tough times and great times my little buddy. The other stuff matters, but feeling loved and supported is most important. My birthday wish for you is that you you always feel it and know it and that you continue to bring joy to others.

Love

Sadness

How do you comfort your six year old after a death when you struggle to find comfort yourself?

I am so incredibly sad and heart broken and somehow I hope my words on this screen will help me cope. I try my hardest not to search for answers to the questions I do not know how to ask.

If my heart aches this much then what about the other people? A son, a father, a husband, a friend, a colleague. All of it.

I have never felt an emptiness and heartache like this and it brings back memories from losing my brothers best friend in high school. I was only 16 then and it hurt differently. I am a father and husband now and this pain is ripping through me in ways that I cannot grasp right now. Sometimes I cry and can't stop. Other times, my mind can go somewhere else. I know it is healthy

I feel like I am not even present sometimes and that other times presence washes over me and brings more sadness. No real peace. Just sadness. My own sadness. Raw. Felt for the loss. Not even anger, but the most immense sadness I have ever felt.

Being a father and being closer to 40 than 20 shapes my feelings differently and I feel that I have so much unfinished in my own life as a dad and husband.

Right now I am just sad. There are no words and no matter how long I keep typing this sadness will take some time to heal. His family will remain in my heart and in my thoughts. I selfishly hope that our boys become great friends and I can see new hope unfold. If I cannot witness it, I hope there are ways I can know and share in some happiness down the road.

I will try my best to be my best and take the influence you had in our short time and pass it on the way you would.

Summer free verse

cold morning
baseball in pjs
coloring inside the lines
balloons unpopped
ordinary friday
home run

# # #

Sitting on the couch, looking around and listening to Kavaun playing ball in the backyard while Roya colored at the table. 

Present

Today before Roya June laid down for her afternoon nap, I asked her what love looks like.

She looked in my direction with a slight smile, reached her arms out and moved in for a deep breath hug around my neck.

When she let go, she said, "That's what love looks like."

# # #



Last night at Music in the Park I watched Kavaun and Roya play duck duck goose with a small group of boys and girls. The way kids naturally gravitiate toward one another and make up their own rules is refreshing. Roya adapted and played nice while all of the children seemed to respect the individual interpretations of their game. Some children opted in and out of their unique variation of Duck Duck Goose and simultaneously some bursts of tag broke out with Kavaun running in and out of families in the crowd hiding and seeking.

Ice cream after was the perfect cap on our family night.

# # #

Perfect Saturdays

Mickey Mouse pancakes on the griddle.
Mama fast asleep.
Mismatched PJs and coloring books.
A perfect morning.

Play ball

As my boy steps to the crooked plate and looks out over the menacing deck in left field, he twirls the bat around and adjusts his imaginary batting gloves. He looks the part of a mini-Big Leaguer and he even mimics the intense expression of a hitter in the zone.

The pitch, just a bit low according to the batter/umpire. "That slider just missed," with a little extra emphasis on just. He needs time to get his sign and take a few more practice cuts before stepping in to face my fastball.

He plays so much there is a slightly beaten down path to first base in our backyard. The four dirt patches surrounding each base bring me great joy. Never thought dirt could be such a happy sight, especially in my well manicured yard.

Every dad should be so lucky to have worn out grass resembling a perfectly imperfect baseball diamond in the yard. Paired with a couple dirt spots under the swings these are the markings of a summer well spent.

Kavaun's field is kind of a mix between Fenway Park and the old Tiger Stadium. Like Fenway, play is tight along the foul lines and the left field porch homerun is an effortless stroke with even the slightest breeze. Like Tiger Stadium with the flag pole in centerfield, our backyard park includes a swing set in play with trees hanging over a right field homerun.

Daily, his games are played out. Sometimes with friends and neighbors. Sometimes alone. Always for fun. Play by play announcing includes calls recognizing our favorite Tigers like Iglesias, Kinsler and Cabrera and some made-up names that resemble stars - like "Machado" for Mustakous or any number of other visiting team player names that have not been ingrained in his memory like our Tigers.

I will pitch and once in a while hit, but I will not be the ump too often. I play by his rules and try to enjoy is version of the games. His version typically involves him winning, swiping extra bases and going to the replay booth to have his calls confirmed.

Baseball has a special way of connecting generations and this summer has brought me closer to my son. I would like to think that if it weren't baseball it would surely be something else to bring us together, but baseball is so natural and easy for me and he has a pure love for the game at this age. We are speaking the same language and loving the same team. We ride the roller-coaster that is a 162-game season and we talk about things like sacrifice bunts, getting out of jams and not arguing balls and strikes. Anguishing losses make him cry and thrilling victories end in our fives and hugs.

This is true love.

We have attended a couple minor league games and a few Tigers games and his observation of the actual game leads to a lot of questions and also a lot of silent time shared in the moment. I just watch him enjoy something I enjoy. He is the only 6 year old that I have to talk into getting treats or going to the Team Store because he does not want to miss the action. Cracks me up.

I relive my childhood regularly and the innocence of lost time in the summer keeps me young.



# # #

Roya June Turns One!

Dear Roya June,

Happy birthday love.

The last year with you and the months prior when you were in mama's belly mark the best days of my life. Thank you. With your mama and your brother Kavaun and the two of us we have our perfect family. Not perfent in the sense of not having our challenges or our ordinary moments, but perfect in the sense that we have more love and joy to go around than we could possibly express with all of our giggles, hugs, kisses and games.  What a great place to be in life when you know that there are not enough ways to express all the joys in life.

You are a happy baby. Your sense of humor is contagious and your smile infectious. You simply make all of the other stuff in life seem unimportant. Playing with you and helping you take those first steps lands you in the Highlights for the Day category regularly.

I think about you when I am not with you and I really do treasure our time together because you make me so happy and proud. 

Tonight after dinner we are going to give you a cupcake, take some pictures and video and celebrate you. This will be the first of many celebrations of you. You have been a blessing in our lives and loving you brings  so much fulfillment. You are my little girl and you always will be and for that I thank you.

Happy birthday.

Love Yours Truly,
Baba

I just had a little chuckle.

Ya see, when I go to the bathroom and I see Kavaun's stack of books by the toilet it makes me think of the animated style in which he reads and sings on the toilet daily.

With the newness of that first day of school or the first drive alone with your license, I watched Roya take 2 1/2 steps today. Soon, my baby girl will be walking. It is already going fast.

Like usual, I cannot sleep on a Sunday night. But so grateful that I am aware enough to realize that today's walk with Kavaun and yesterday playing the human mountain for Roya to climb on were great highlights for a weekend.

Between Roya's contagious smile, Kavaun's imagination and Beata's innocent giggles and beauty I have had the best weekend imaginable. When I go back to work tomorrow and someone asks what I did this last weekend, I guess I will have to reply, "I smiled" and my next line, "I did everything I wanted to do."

Just flat-out lucky.

Gratitude post

On a day when we saw an elephant, lion and monkeys at the Phoenix Zoo, Kavaun's favorite part of the day may have been when the Recycle truck came by to pick up the large bin we walked out to the curb together the night before.

On a day when we played in a pool, ate ice cream and went out and ate pizza, Kavaun most loved spotting the airplanes flying over the house.

And my Roya June  in her baby bikinis and new outfits from mamani.

All of it and more made this seven day trip to Scottsdale Arizona a welcome break in the cold and gray that is Michigan in the winter and early spring. I played in a pool, played with my kids, got to see family and more importantly got to enjoy Beata  loving on her family.

What a great week. I am grateful I am often living in these moments that make my life so special. I am soaking it up and savoring every hug, kiss, giggle, funny  question, game, joke, and even some of the tantrums.

This vacation has energized me and helped me get back to what I love most in life - being the best dad and husband I can be right now.

If I get on my game, I will post some pictures soon.

N

Birthday wishes

With a birthday around the corner, all I can think is that there is truly nothing I need or even really want this year. With the addition of Roya, a beautiful 4-year-old story-telling creative Kavaun and an amzaing wife and best friend in Beata, what else is there?

Kavaun has been playing a lot of referee with his Lego whistle and black and white striped shirt. Roya is all smiles as she crawls everywhere and pulls herself up to stand.

Currently I am typing from my bed as I play host to Kavaun's stuffed animals and toys (octopus, dinosaur and Woofy the dog to name a few).

The only wish I have for my birthday and beyond is that I remain aware of my own good fortune and enjoy the moments that make all of this so incredible.

Good night,
N

Best Days are RIGHT NOW

It is official.
This is the best time in my life. I have never felt so fulfilled and energized by the people in my life.
Roya is 8 months. Kavaun is four.
I am married to my best friend and love of my life going for 7-plus years.
Living in the moment. Living in every single moment on the best days.

Late night feedings with Roya on my shoulder afterward, sound asleep.
Her little arms wrapped on my neck and all I can do is smile.
I loved this age with Kavaun too and now I have a new perspective and understanding of why I want to soak it up before moving on to the next phase.

Every night at dinner, we each say what we are grateful for and occasionally we will talk about highs and lows from the day. Mostly though we battle Kavaun to get him to sit still. My list of gratitude is long and heart-felt. I do not always verbalize well, but I feel it in my interactions everyday. It trickles over into how I carry myself in my career. It fills me up. Since I do believe in jinxing, that gratitude list includes our health, our family, even our house, neighbors and jobs and the support we get from our entire "network" of family (including Miss Tonya).

Beata made a beautiful photo book for our family highlighting all the cool things 2012 brought our way. I love it.

More later.
It's late.

Going to go stare at my baby girl sleeping for a few minutes then kiss my boy on the forehead before I go to bed.

Untitled

Dead tired
Never so full of life
Roya is amazing
Kavaun her hero
Beata the glue and the loving intentional mom and wife
Me
The lucky one