Perfect

Today was the best.

For me, I never knew the joy of Christmas like I do now. Opening gifts with Kavaun and Beata and spending the entire day inside with a big breakfast, playtime, homemade dinner, a movie tradition (Love Actually) and completely living in the moment was perfect.

Kavaun's genuine happiness to be home with both of us, his excitement for his gifts and joyful play all day was perfect. His sense of humor and being able to spend last night with my family made this Christmas awesome so far. In just hours we will be on a plane to Oregon and our great Christmas will be complete. I cannot wait to get there to see everyone and for them to see Kavaun.

For all the simplest and obvious reasons, today has been one of the best days of my life.

(More later on Kavaun's latest antics and accomplishments)

2010 Christmas with our elf

First real snowfall of 2010

Fun times

Kavaun's latest is coloring on the walls of the bathtub and also asking us what letter he is holding up. Usually before we can answer, he giggles and identifies the letter. I especially like his fascination about the "M" being turned upside down to be a "W" or as he says, "duhb - ooh"

A pretty common pose for Kavaun is the hands resting behind his head look. He does this on car rides, the diaper table and occasionally when he naps like in this photo after a long car ride home from Thanksgiving in Ionia.

Yup, Beata can still bring it when it comes to fashion . . . even Kavaun can't slow her down. He's pretty big now and he insists on throwing things, screaming, destroying, ripping and going crazy from time to time.

King of Thanksgiving.

Kavaun loves his play set

Play set birthday gift from Oregon!

Updates

(The picture is unrelated to the post)

• Kavaun's Twinkle Twinkle Little Star performance at the Balice Thanksgiving was a hit.
• Kavaun has been counting up to twenty (note: 13, 14, 15, 16 all sound the same)
• Kavaun is identifying all of the letters and he says most of them pretty well. V and Y along with M and W are easily mixed up for the little guy.
• For the most part, he is still a vegetarian despite our repeated efforts
• Sleeping is pretty interesting and usually consists of Kavaun joining us in bed somewhere between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. If he comes after that and I am not in bed, he goes crazy looking for baba.
• Hey Soul Sister by Train is a favorite for Kavaun. I think Beata's record for consecutive times listening and dancing with Kavaun is 9 or 10. Kavaun simply asks for, "Hey" and now Beata also sings it to him before bed as he smiles and giggles.
• Beata and Kavaun dance and play after she gets home. I usually join in and contribute horsey rides more than anything else.

post-Thanksgiving

Today I played cars with Kavaun. Before that he sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. And before that he counted up to 20 and said some of his ABC's in between our interactive puppet show.

Perfect Friday with Kavaun

1. Cartoons and breakfast
2. Get dressed and pick-up house
3. Play in leaves, swing, walk
4. Lunch
5. Nap
6. Play more

(day off today)

Chicken Dance

Our fall trip to Spicer’s Orchard has turned into four separate trips to the orchard as the weather stays sunny and warm into mid-October. Kavaun makes his normal request for “cake” and I happily oblige with pumpkin or sugar covered warm donuts. Our most recent visit to Spicer’s Orchard was memorable. Cousins Lucas and Anthony were there and we stayed another two hours after they went home. Kavaun played in the corn barn, rolled around in the dirt, climbed into the tree house, teased the goats and danced with chickens. We had a blast and I was glad I could just enjoy the moment together.

Fatherhood has been so many things all at the same time – scary, fun, routine and memorable. Most of all, fatherhood has humbled me and reminded me that my own capacity to love is not easy for even me to comprehend. I love being Kavaun’s baba more than I love any thing or experience. I have grown into this baba role. There is nothing as fulfilling as family and the “collaborative” influence that is shared with me, Beata and Kavaun. Knowing that my life will never be the same as it was before September 2008 brings with it the kind of uncertainty and excitement that will no doubt lift my spirits unexpectedly from time to time and sometimes will also keep me up late worrying.

More of Kavaun’s language (recorded here in case we should forget)

PB num num – PBJ sandwich

Kah-man – Kavaun’s pronunciation of his own name

Lamp on – Light on. This can be stated as a question or with an exclamation point. Most often used when requesting a light to be turned on in the house or in the car.

Work is a concept Kavaun seems to have down pretty well also. Yesterday he said, “Ma Work” around 6:30 when Beata was late getting home. He usually points out if lights (lamps as he refers to them) work also.

In the bathtub he can identify most of the letters in the alphabet and show them when asked. He also says some of the letters and repeats numbers as we say them. There are literally too many things to keep track of as Kavaun expands his vocabulary.

Yesterday Kavaun sat on the couch looking at me and then imitating me. I scratched the bridge of my nose and he did the same. I tapped the top of my head, and again he did the same. We carried on for a few minutes until I could not hold my laughter as his smile busted into giggles at my fake dismay.

Trend Setter

Summer 2010 new style

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Dear Kavaun,

Happy second birthday buddy.

People told us when you turned one that it was going to get even better. I half-heartedly believed those people.

But now I get it. It is not that it gets better necessarily, it's simply that the total sum of the days with you makes it seem better now. We needed all those early days to add to the Kavaun we know today. Your personality was evident right away though. Stubborn, yet cute. Proud, but also sneaky and funny. Affectionate and independent. Son, you wasted no time letting us get to know all of you. And all of you, over the course of your first two years, makes now the best time of my life. Thank you.

I will probably be preaching the same story next year at this time and maybe for a few years after that too. I like being naive and I enjoy the vulnerability that comes with being your baba.

When you were days old and you smiled to show me that dimple, it was perfect. Months later you were crawling and laughing and again, perfect. Your first steps, the princely first birthday celebration and and all the giggles later, and we loved every bit. At any point you could have asked me and I would respond, "this is the best time." Now you are two, running, talking in one and two word sentences, fake crying, repeating phrases ("hot mama" and "cool dude") and answering our questions (Who is your president?). These moments - all of them, including the nights we stay up or even sleep on your floor - are special. I can honestly say that before you, I only thought I was able to live in the moment. You have redefined what a moment can be.

Those moments, all the pictures, the videos - it is all special because you are special. And maybe someday, a long time from now, you will be able to understand the incredible power of your kisses and hugs, the way your giggle can literally change the course of an entire day or how an overwhelming sense of pride and joy can be wrapped up in one expression because you will get to be a dad.

Buddy, I cherish our life together. You and your mom fulfill me.

Happy Birthday buddy,
Baba

Note for the record: Beata's parents came to Michigan to celebrate Kavaun's birthday. We enjoyed dinner at the Rain Forest Cafe (Kavaun loves elephants right now) and we spent time at the orchard too.

Updates

This week Kavaun transitioned into his "big-boy bed" which basically means I unbolted one of the walls on his crib and it is now a day bed for our little guy. Of course, this happened as a result of him climbing and falling out of the crib a couple times. There was the time I heard a loud thud only to find Kavaun embarrassed upon my arrival. He just stood there crying staring at the floor and telling me "O'er there!" which means, "Leave". The next time his embarrassment led him to hide behind the rocking chair sniffling (or maybe he was crying due to pain?). The final instance was a little sneakier. I was downstairs after school while he napped. All of a sudden Kavaun was climbing down the stairs to come see me - no crying on the fall or when he apparently opened the bedroom door.



So, for the last five nights we have been taking shifts in Kavaun's room. He has been especially cuddly once he wakes up between 3 and 4 in the morning. We have been sleeping with him on his floor and the other night I came home from the gym at 10 p.m. and Beata and Kavaun were both sleeping in his "big boy bed". We are rookie parents no doubt. This will serve as the official (and funny?) record of how wrapped around his finger we really are. A tired week no doubt and we simply will not be able to keep this up.



Also, the pacifier has been officially over for about two weeks. Just prior to Labor Day weekend 2010 was the last of the pacifier.



In other news, Kavaun continues calling just about anything he enjoys eating "cake" - including ice-cream, pancakes and sometimes even french fries. His other favorite food term is "cook" for cookies - which includes nutrigrain bars, teddy grahams and crackers or pretzels. He likes to say. "Mo cook!" with his little pouty face.



"Please" is an idea he is latching on to because he has learned that it gets him what he wants. He used to resist the "p" word, but now we often hear an eager "peeeeaze" following a demand. We still need to remind him though, but now it comes with a big smile.



The two year check-up was a mess since we had a crabby little guy on our hands. No shots, but we still had to pin a screaming Kavaun down so Dr. Sherman could check him over. We barely got his height (35 inches I think) and he refused to sit still for the scale so I am not sure of his weight.



Those are the big events of the last couple weeks.

Birthday for baba

Lucky Baba Evidence

Kavaun's first ball game

August 5, 2010

We went to a Tiger game together. I will try to post pictures soon. It was hot. We had front row seats behind the visiting dugout. Mark Kotsay of the Chicago White Sox gave Kavaun a game ball at the end of the 6th inning and then went on to hit the game winning hit to win in extra innings.

My plan is to pull Kavaun from school one day per year for his entire educational career to go to a ball game. This was the first and I hope to string together a lifetime of games and maemories.

Great time!

Nick

I use Facebook to post most of our pictures and updates...

Lucky ba ba

I am one lucky baba.

I get to stay home wth my son nearly everyday for 10-12 weeks in the summer. We hang out in our pajamas all day sometimes. Sometimes we go for walks to the park or we read together. Other days we feed the ducks or travel somewhere - maybe the splash park or Ionia to see family. But, everyday we have a clean slate. A new adventure could mean a trip to the grocery store or a drive to a local subdivision to look for deer in the nearby woods.

Some days can be pretty blah. It is easy to get lost in an hour of PBS with the Sesame Street gang or to wonder why I feel a sense of releif when Kavaun lays down for hs nap. Once in a while I feel like I am not productive enough. Truthfully, I tend to feel that way when I am low on sleep staring at our mess of books and toys and we do not get outside in the morning. Some very easy "rules" have helped me maintain a helathier outlook though. For starters, I try to get outside with Kavaun once before his afternoon nap and hopefully after too. I put the music station on the TV after I get a small dose of Sports Center or the news. I soak up and appreciate Kavaun's independent time (some days he is more independent than others like today), but a day without games, giggling and tickling is a day wasted.

Staying home has helped me appreciate my independent time. Beata is a supportive and wonderful mom and wife. She has fallen into the role of doing most of the baths and putting Kavaun to bed while we split dinner duty. I have slacked on dinner duty lately. Beata also encourages me to do the things I am passionate about - namely photography and travel. I have a 4-day trup to DC scheduled this week and I spent three days enjoying a photography workshop in Holland, Michigan. It was incredible. And yes, I needed it to re-charge. I spent three nights in Ionia staying up past 3 a.m. each night visiting with Uncle Dan and catching up wth family. I absolutely loved it. My mom got some valuable KK time too and I got to visit with her as well.

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I have slowed down on picture taking, but still have many more photos than the average person. I REALLY NEED TO ORGANIZE all of these pictures and stay up to speed on that aspect of my photography. I am okay, but if I am not careful it becomes an orgnizational nightmare.

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Kavaun's gibberish is absolutely adorable and even though I know the window is closing on it since he will be talking in sentences soon, I am excited to hear him speak in sentences. We have a lot of fun discovering his new words and teaching him new words. Yes, I did teach him to say "Hot Mama" to Beata but he also knows "KK" (cah -cah), "Over there! (o'er dhare), "No more" (no mo), Night Night (naht-naht) and Num Num for food and his pacifier. These are the most common phrases along with Fill (elephant in Farsi), Goal (flower), and Mo for Elmo. "Oh no" is today's favorite phrase and almost all cars became "Big Car" after he saw a truck and aptly called it a big car. Noe semis, buses and even little cars are big cars. He very proudly says "bub bye num num" when he puts his pacifier in the crib upon waking. Or he will say "night night" to "woof woof" his dog (sound more like "wuhv wuh")

My favorite is "ba ba" and the adorable tone Kavaun uses when he says it. If I am downstairs and I shut a door or start up the stairs, Kavaun will say, "ba ba" and I can hear his smile. I love it everytime.

As I sit here in our hurricane swept iving room Kavaun is alternating between reading his books and climbing into the box that he tipped over in order to have easy access to a few dozen books. We often marvel at how one little person can create so much joy and havoc smultaneously. We often refer to him as Hurricane Kavaun as he sweeps through the house. So lucky are we to get swept up in his daily hurricane flooding with his curiosity, energy and exctement to "do".

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Yes, my boy dances. Thank God because now Beata has someone to dance with to get her fix. In fact, Kavaun loves dancing and like most 22-month old boys he goes into these jump up and down convulsions and he screams, giggles and winds up like a toy before taking off sprinting, hoppin and skippng through the house full tilt. I enjoy this energy and on most days I really do appreciate it.

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Kavaun's animal toys and stuffed animals talk to each other and ride on his toy cars together. Sometimes they fly through the air, get lectured sternly and get hugs from our little boy. Kavaun has his way of doing things and his sensitive yet strong personality shines through most of his actions. He is pensive but also aventurous. He has a look that is serious to go with his fun and happy demeanor. Our boy has opinions and most the time he is going to make sure you know what those opinions are. He is like my mother in that sense, maybe me too. Beata's sister and aunt have a similar quality. The genetic kleidoscope that is Kavaun has it's own unique beauty.

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I love giving Kavaun horsey rides through the house and having him kiss me over each shoulder for "fuel" so I can go. Beata has her own version of this game too. We love it. The best is when we will lay down on the floor together and leave just enough space between us for Kavaun to squeeze in. He slides in between us smiling and turns to each of us with a HUGE smile as we begin to tell him a story. We cuddle. We laugh. We admire Kavaun and one another. Three minutes (usually only lasts a couple minutes though) doing this completely fills my heart. These are things that can get forgotten if we are not careful to record and remember.

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I often joke with Beata that Kavaun only gets "boo boos" or injurie when she is around to kiss them. This is pretty true and I love watching her bring a smile to his face by kissing his "pretend" boo boos. They both love it. The window on this may last a while, but I will draw the line when Kavaun get involved in organized sports.

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Last night while I was up working on graduate work well into the morning Kavaun woke up screaming around 3 a.m. I think he knew I needed to hold him and I enjoyed every second of it. He was so clingy and rested his head on my shoulder to sleep for about 10 minutes before I returned him to his crib. Just 6 hours earlier I had watched Beata holding him after his bath. She was enjoying the moment, I could tell.

These are the moments when strung together make me realize how lucky we are to have Kavaun in our lives and ho much joy it brings me to ensure he also feels lucky to have us. Honestly, I fall in love with him over and over again everyday - even the days when we stay in our pjs until 4 p.m.

Thank you God,
N

It seems that even when I get the time to unwind and have a little bit of time for myself, I have been wasting it on Facebook. Even here (in Portland), I have Kavaun napping peacefully upstairs and this entire beautiful house to myself and I almost began watching TV and wasting time. What better time than now to catch up on a few Kavaun things. As I have claimed before, this blog is nothing more than a high tech baby book for me to document the Kavaun happenings.

So the Cliff's Notes version:

"O'er dare" - Kavaun's favorite phrase when he wants us to move somewhere or put his food in a specific location so he can eat alone.

"num num" - usually means pacifier, but often means that he is hungry too. He likes "mo num num!" as well which means "more food!"

Moving beyond the catch phrases . . .

This summer has blown by way too fast thus far. I love my time with Kavaun. We take regular trips to the park, we play indoor games and twice now, I have taken him on runs with me. He sits in his stroller and I push him along jogging at a snail's pace while he sits and stares at the birds, passing cars, squirrels, etc.

I am not in the mode right now, so I will post and run.

Out,
N

Documenting random things

Well, as I sit here with Beata on the couch, we have decided that we need to document a few things:

First of all, it is our anniversary today - so YAHOO! A lot can happen in five years and we are evidence of that.

Kavaun says "ko-ko la-la" randomly and often

Cotton balls have become a favorite "toy" for Kavaun and it is funny how he says, "coht-bawl!"

For the record - we flew the red eye from Portland to Detroit on our trip home from Sara's wedding and Kavaun slept a total of 30 minutes and as luck would have it, it was the final 30 minutes. Sorry to the man absorbing all of those Kavaun kicks to the back of his seat for a four hour plane ride.

Kavaun enjoys swimming in the pool - whether it's the Baidas pool or swim lessons with me, Kavaun enjoys his time in the water.

More later,
Nick

Thoughts

Excerpt from e-mail to Aunt Maggie from today: (After sending it I realized, this blog would be a good place to hang on to the memory)


... I have to tell you that today, I actually laid on my floor laughing my ass off with Kavaun as he made goofy faces, giggled and hid from me. These are the moments I want to bottle up and hang on to forever. I just laid there realizing this is some cool shit... all the while, his pb&j became a pbj&c (the c- for the carpet which he smeared the sandwich into with his hands and feet while screaming like a chimp.)

Again - it is not always rosy of course, but what an amazing difference Kavaun has made in our lives. For me personally, fatherhood has made me so proud, so full of life and also so humble. It is scary how much love there is within me now. Every once in a while I get scared worrying about his well-being now and down the road just because I care so much.

Once again, thanks for listening.

Updates

The other day Kavaun rolled across the living room floor.

Gymnastics class with Kavaun is interesting. I took the day off a couple Mondays ago and we went to his class before traveling to Ionia. I have never regretted a day off in my life.

Kavaun loves to be outside. When we brought him in from a walk last week, he tried to keep his coat on in the house. He pushed us toward the door and continued screaming and crying from about five minutes. I took him back outside thinking that when he is 10 or 11, I will be glad he wants to go outside and play.

In a very unusual turn of events, Kavaun is sleeping in today. He is on his 13th hour of sleep currently. A growth spurt?

This is the most fun I have ever had in my life.

Up late with new measures of time . . .

Time measured in

forts built
negotiated meals
slow songs danced
books read
conversations enjoyed
near falls bouncing on the couch
hiding the TV remote and cell phones
trips up and down the stairs
intense stares
giggle attacks
bird watching out the window
identification of "cars" passing by on the street(Kavaun's favorite word actually sounds like, "cah")
calling out "ball" when seen on TV, in a book and in-person
mooches granted (Persian word for kiss)
tears wept usually followed by smiling eyes
hugs shared
Cheerios eaten

# # #

Yesterday while I was in the kitchen I heard Kavaun scream from his playroom (formerly known as our dining room). When I got out there it was a funny sight. With only his diaper on, he maneuvered a chair into position so he could climb onto the table. When I got there, he was sitting Indian style on the top of the table screaming like he was trapped. I guess you had to be there to appreciate the scene. I helped him down.

# # #

Something we may forget if I do not write it down: Kavaun's goodbye kisses through the gate when we leave the house. Fun stuff.

Super Bowl Sunday and Toy Mountain

Kavaun,

Today you covered me with all of your toys and books and held me hostage in your play tent. Your sneaky smile and excitement to keep adding to the pile made me laugh. I took one of those mental pictures that daddy's sometimes take. I know, we have a lot of real pictures, but this one is seared into my head and will be for a while I think. I was looking up at you through the toy rubble and your eyes were smiling as you stared at me before you unleashed a hearty chuckle. It was sweet. That was the most I have seen your mom laugh in quite a while too. Thanks buddy.

I keep hearing that you "play" us and that you have us wrapped around your tiny little finger. Today, your mom and I acknowledged to one another that we think that is at least partially true, but we also admitted that we kind of like it. Maybe, that will change? (the liking part, not that fact that you call the shots.) You are a very insistent little boy with quite a will. Before, you would insist that we rock you to sleep and "sneak" you into your crib peacefully. Hell, some nights I remember army crawling in and out of that room so you would not detect me. I am surprised I did not purchase unscented soap and camouflage pj's. Your latest development has been to go into your crib awake and even push us away so you can get some shut-eye. We like that you are becoming independent . . . I guess. The other fun developments are your identification of you body parts in English and Farsi, identifying and calling out, ball and happily saying, hi. You say more, no and car in addition to mom and sometimes baba.

You also sucked and chewed very aggressively on ice cubes tonight. Those teeth coming in (moellers I think) seem to be really bothering you. (although we always ask one another, "do you think his teeth hurt?" every time you throw a fit. This goes back to that other point of you playing us.)

Today, you screamed and cried instead of napping and I took the opportunity to rock you on my lap. You fell asleep as I ran my fingers through your curly hair. Then within minutes, with my hand resting on your head and the other under your arm, we were both asleep.

Right now the Super Bowl is on TV and forever the Super Bowl will bring back a memory of one of the best days of my life. At the time it was a BIG day, but looking back now it was one of the BEST. Your mom told me on Super Bowl Sunday two years ago that she was pregnant with you. Of course, her timing was a little odd. She asked me in the middle of the game to turn the TV off because she had an early Valentine's Day gift. I kind of blew her off and ended up eventually giving in. When I sat by the fireplace and opened a box which had a bib that read, "I love daddy" and the positive result from a home pregnancy test, I was very surprised. And ecstatic. Everything started to change that day. Everything.

Then Operation Baby Secret took us on an 8 or 9 week journey and we only had each other to share the excitement with everyday. I was so happy and your mom was too. She is more responsible than I am so I think she was already in planning mode and I had no idea what was coming that summer - painting, buying and putting together furniture and making sure we had everything in order. We now realize that "in order" thing is impossible.

Kavaun, you have made our world. Sometimes it scares me how much I love you and how differently I see your mom now. You magnify and shine a light on her best qualities.

Thanks buddy,
Ba ba

Wake up already!

Dear Kavaun,

It is late and I am tired. Not tired enought to sleep. Today has been a very long Monday and all I really want now is for you to wake up so I can hold you and feel a "reason" to spend time with you. Sure, I will go upstairs and watch you sleep in your crib, but it does not compare to holding you and feeling you breathe on my shoulder.

Most the time when you wake up or cry, you need one of us. Well, tonight I need you.

On most nights we are grateful you sleep soundly. Tonight is different though. I figure I am already to the point where I will be tired tomorrow so four hours of sleep compared to three hours means little and at least if I am tired tomorrow it will be more worth it if I get to spend part of tonight with you. A slight whimper - give me something here.

You have been so much fun lately and I know that it very possible I will forget all of your latest antics - like climbing up on the couch and ottoman and standing up and jumping around just to scare us. Or the other night at Ryan and Amy's when you decided at 1 a.m. to tell us a story while we were trying to get you to sleep and share the bed with us. You sat up and looked at your mom and gave her your garbled version of events before taking a deep breath and telling me your story. We were so tired and so annoyed you were wide awake, yet laughing so hard. I think we slept maybe two hours that night. We also get a kick out of Grandma KK's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that has led to your independent baths, more frequent sleeping and less tantrums. We know you "play" us, but maybe we like it that way sometimes.

So Bud, do me a favor when I go upstairs to get tomorrow's coffee ready. I will clank the silverware around in the sink, slam a cupboard door or two and all you need to do is let out a little squeel and I will rescue you.

I am never as happy as I am when we get to play as a family. There is not even a close second.

I love you,
Dad