Boy or girl?

Yesterday on my plane ride, I thought long and hard about all the advantages of having a baby boy and then I did the same for a baby girl. In the end, it got jumbled up and all of my "theories" blended into all the same ideas. Being a parent is one of life's gifts and while parenting also makes for good stand-up comedy material and there is plenty to not enjoy about it, the truth is that the roller coaster of emotion it sends me on gives new and real meaning to my life.

On one hand, having a little girl would be a dream come true for both me and Beata. I have always wanted the opportunity to have a little girl to shower with love and attention. It would be great to show a daughter what love looks like in a healthy family. Beata is a great mom and I think a daughter would highlight some of her parenting strengths in very obvious ways. Beata's selfless and others oriented personality would bring out the best in a female. I can not think of a better model of love, hard work and devotion for any child to witness. It would be great to see the dynamic that would develop between a daughter and Beata. I  would love the experience of watching a little girl grow into a confident and loving woman.

A little boy and seeing Kavaun as big brother to a little brother would be excellent as well. Teaching another boy how to be a loving and caring man who could one day grow up to be a loving a caring husband is an amazing opportunity. Beata is so great with Kavaun and her ability to adapt to a boy's world has been proven over the last three years and for a second boy I think she would excel desptie the energy drain.

While I was sitting on a chartered plane coming home from the Spartan Cornhusker football game, it hit me that adding another little one to the family is obviously going to change things for me in ways I know I will not get until it happens. There's a lot of talk in my social circles about how life changes so dramatically with the addition of the second child, etc. The reality for me is that I have loved the changes in my life with one child. I am guessing that a second child does not simply double to enjoyment, but I have no doubt that I will be fulfilled and happy. Honestly, being a devoted father and husband is what I feel I do best. I identify with those roles and find my joy in those two parts of my life more than anything else in life. There really is not even a close second for me. I tend to be pretty private about it, but my family life is the source of most of my inspiration. It also helps me seek some balance.

October was tough financially. New Water heater, new furnace, new brakes on the car, expensive weekend at Nebraska. It added up quickly. Add to that the anxiety of starting a new basketball season and the time and energy taken to be the best coach I can be and I feel as though I am powering down this week so I can gear up for the marathon that is November, December, January and February. Beata is rightfully anxious and that makes me anxious. Kavaun is at an age where I know I will miss him more and I expect he will "search" for his fulfillment by challenging his mother often. I am picturing some Kavaun time at the gym during my practices. Uh oh.

May the next 120 days be rewarding and happy,
N