Play time

I love this picture from one of our afternoon walks a few weeks ago. The truth is that I have so many pictures I struggle even to pick just a few to share. My normal answer is to avoid making decisions on what to post altogether.

Kavaun loves his play time and he gets plenty of attention. Just look at that smile!

Whewwww!

October 8th was Beata's original due date (after the first ultra-sound) then it got changed to September 30th. I was happy because mathematically given what we know about the science of pregnancy, October 8th would have meant Kavaun was conceived while Beata was in Oregon and I was in Michigan.

Hmmmmm....

Connectedness and a game of cards

It is past midnight on a school night and I am still up and tonight my mom filled in for Kavaun . He was in bed when I got home from playing basketball and our conversation weaved in and out of the Top Chef drama on TV and before I knew it, I was not tired.

Just like my memories of time spent at home during high school and college (less frequently in college), the best conversations with my mom are unplanned and just kind of happen. I hope that when Kavaun is my age he is having meaningful and interesting conversations with me as much as possible. I had a great opportunity to stay up until about 3 a.m. with Beata, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law last Monday night and I enjoyed our visit so much that I decided to stay up and keep it going because those moments are so rare. I feel like if the moment is right, it's worth the time. In the summer, I stayed at Uncle Dans until 3 or 4 a.m. once. We were in the groove (maybe the groove ended at 2 a.m. but I still stayed)

Playing with Kavaun is fun, but when we start to have those conversations - the important ones and the many ordinary ones - I think I will treasure that time in a very different way. When I really get the chance to connect with someone, I hang on to it. In fact, I can go down a list of many of the most important people in my life and recall specific conversations that are still with me today. Some serious. Some funny. Most of them ordinary.

I have vivid memories and recollections that were seared into my memory. There are the family ones of course and then some others that I probably should write about so I do not forget. Examples off the top of my head:

• The Chinese dinner with Professor McWhirter in London (the day after I met Beata and he asked about our "meeting" in a semi-protective way while also letting me in on the fact she was a good catch - not that I had caught her . . . yet) or
• Teacher planning with Richard Mraz in the fall of 1999 in East Lansing (He always told me I had too much "stuff" with me and I needed to be focused on students and their learning and growth) or
• A random visit with family at Gregory's Tavern when Ryan and I had Uncle Dan rolling with our childhood stories (namely the fact our mother hired a mentally disabled babysitter for us).
• I can even remember when I was 15 or 16 talking to my grandpa in his den about my upcoming high school baseball season and then watching him drift to sleep and I stared intently at him and consciously held on to the moment because I knew time was precious. Within the year, he passed away and I was so happy I used to go up to their house often just to visit.
• And with my grandma, she had some words of wisdom when I had a broken heart and I had never really seen that side of her before. It helped. The same words from someone else would not have hit me the same way.

And how does all this fit into a "daddy blog"? Maybe it's because I want so badly for Kavaun to make those important connections with his family - in Michgan and Oregon. I want him to be aware of the positive people in his life - the teachers, coaches and friends he has. I do think his school work and his manners, his work ethic and all of those things are valuable, but so much of those things and the other things in life are influenced by the connections we have with people.

There is little doubt in my mind that while I would have likely turned out fine eventually, some major detours in my young life were avoided because of the connectedness I had to special people - again it was a lot of family and then a cast of characters like Kyle Henry, Darin Magley, several coaches - that all stepped up in different ways. Like me, Kavaun will have the advantage of good parents (that is the plan), but I know there are so many other variables that make a difference. I just want him to have the luxury of a wonderful "community" and support network like the one I was born into.

I often joke with my friends that I do not need much else other than good conversation. Golf, cards, movies and all that other stuff seems to get in the way of what I might otherwise consider a pretty good time. I do enjoy playing and watching sports, but given the choice, I normally choose a good visit over anything else. A baseball game, a car ride or a good restaraunt wins out everytime.

I hope Kavaun is up for my idea of a good time. And if he is not, my guess is I will simply have to learn how to play cards. The day Kavaun and I play euchre against my dad and my brother will mark a milestone that only Kavaun could help me reach.

Simple

Tigers on TV.
Listening to Beata sing Kavaun to sleep.
Sometimes the simple things lead to the biggest smiles.

New routines

• Brainy Baby Animals
• Is Your Mama a Llama?
• Slide and Find Trucks
• Let's Count!

This is the line-up from Kavaun's library that overshadows ESPN's College Gameday.

I love lazy Saturdays that combine four of my favorite things to do: play with Kavaun, visit with Beata, drink coffee from a bottomless mug and enjoy the entertainment of college football.

Our special invite

Beata helped design our invitation and I created it using Photoshop. She came up with the idea and then together we narrowed it down to the pictures we wanted to use. This weekend I will try to design a special thank you note using pictures from the party. My Aunt Maggie and Aunt Janet took some great pictures along with Beata's dad and sister.

Party Time!

This picture was taken by Kavaun's Aunt Sara just before our guests arrived. Kavaun was in good spirits all day and pushed through without his afternoon nap. We designed and created our own invitations with a prince theme. The decorations included the usual balloons and streamers and Beata special-ordered a cake shaped like a crown and our blue and white striped tent housed all of our prince plates and crown table decorations.

Birthday Fun

Kavaun had a wonderful first birthday party. We had about 60 guests over to our house and we captured a lot of it on video and in photographs. I look forward to posting those pictures soon. We feel lucky that the rain and today's windy cold temperatures held off for one day. We enjoyed partly sunny skies and 70-degrees for a nice outdoor party.

Tomorrow, his Persian family returns to Oregon and without a doubt, there will be very heavy hearts. Kavaun loves his family time. Here are some memorable moments:

• When the Mostafavi women sing, "Jumpy jumpy jumpy!" and they clap a beat, Kavaun dances around, giggles and claps.


• Kavaun moving in for a hug with any member of his extended family. Those moments are always embraced and welcomed. When he finishes with a giggle or a kiss it's the best.
• Our guests pulled together for a memorable rendition of "Happy Birthday" while Kavaun seemed confused. It was cute to watch him intensely stare at all of the people singing and cheering for him. For me, this was hands down my favorite part of the day. I tried to soak it up because for so much of the afternoon, I was running around and visiting with guests - most who drove more than hour to spend the afternoon with us.
• Kavaun's response to his birthday cake was very intense. He had little interest in eating it and chose to slowly - very slowly - play with the frosting.


• Kavaun loves climbing on boxes and then falling off. He repeats this game over and over until he tires and finds new entertainment. With a room full of gifts there are plenty of boxes to climb.
• Cottage cheese and bananas seem to be the table foods of choice for our little guy. Tonight he will get a taste of some rice and Persian cuisine. Beata's mom has been preparing one of my favorite Persian meals this evening, giving Kavaun's nose a good workout.

I wish we had another week to have Beata's mom, dad and sister here. The fall weather and the smell of Persian food in our house makes me feel at home. It has the weird sense of Christmas break.

N

New Hours of Operation

As if by design, Kavaun woke up last night crying around 1 a.m. - which was perfect since his family from Oregon is in town for the weekend. Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Sara were all here to console him. Grandma Haydeh held him and rocked him back to sleep. They are staying four nights so every last minute they can get with Kavaun is treasured.

And, as luck would have it he woke up a second time around 3 or 4 a.m. Again, he needed some consoling and play time. I think it is great that Kavaun cares enough to wake up for play time with his family.

I hope he understands that after Monday night, playtime is reserved for 7 a.m. to 8 p.m.

Kavaun's Lazyboy Chair

Even though I am back at work, I am still enjoying some warm weather time with Kavaun. It has been a warm September which translates into walks and time at the park. I have a new teaching assignment which allows me to be home by 3 or 3:30 on a regular basis. Kavaun is usually happiest between 4 and 6 after he eats and naps. That means I get a lot of play time with him before Beata gets home and by the time we all play together, eat and Kavaun gets his bath, it is just about time for bed. Typically bed time seems to fall between 7:30 and 8:30. Although tonight was 9:00 p.m.

Our tradition of reading Llama Llama Red Pajama before bed continues. I love feeling Kavaun's sighs as he sits comfortably in my lap relaxed and focused on his bed time story. I am his Lazy boy recliner. I can not imagine I will ever forget the feeling of bedtime rocking or him giving me a hug, but I am told it is one of those things that could slowly fade. I can close my eyes and play the reel in my head of Kavaun laughing or his latest trick which is to walk backwards with a huge smile. Our games of peek-a-boo are much more entertaining than I expected. Most of the time I get on all fours and he runs around giggling and hiding and peeking under my legs with his trademark sneaky smile. I just love that sneaky smile. It is the sneakiest smile. It is as if he basks in knowing that he can control my smile with his own and that no matter what, in some way he will always have that over me

We decided that Kavaun is very smart because, among many things he does, he tries to turn the ceiling fan on and off by hitting the electrical outlet near the floor that he can reach. While holding him, Beata showed Kavaun the light switch that controlled the fan one day and since then he hits the similar looking outlet that he can reach and points to the fan. He is expecting it to start the fan and when it doesn't, he seems determined to keep hitting the outlet. I know, genius.

I am not sure I would say Kavaun has a temper, but our son definitely has an opinion. In fact, he is stubborn and once he gets an idea in his head, good luck getting him to have a change of heart. For instance, when we feed him we have to be careful not to leave other food in sight or he will prefer to have that other food instead. He could be starving and eating his favorite food and if he sees something else, he will point and scream until he either gets the other food or we trick him.

Eventually our tricks and distraction tactics will not be creative enough. Like Uncle Dan always says, parenting is more art than science. Thank God because we do not treat parenting much like a science. Our routines vary and our habits are born out of chance more than choice. For instance, neither one of us ever put TV programs/cartoons on for Kavaun. It was not like we decided that TV is bad for him at this age, it is just the way things are working out. Or, we are slow to introduce more table foods to Kavaun, but it is not out of fear or concern. The truth is, we are just slow to get around to it. Another example is how we have adjusted to a little bit more of his crying in his crib - we still hate it and it is fairly rare, but we have kind of realized that it is just part of the deal and a little bit can be okay once in a while. We just roll with it. For us, there are no books, but there are some basic routines that we have fallen into. Falling more than baby-training for us. Again, it is more art than science and I anticipate that with time, he will kick our asses and we will continue to be humbled. I think all parents need to be humbled. If not, then either the parents are robots, the children are robots or worse yet - all involved are robots.

He adjusts. We adjust. But the worst is when he just does not feel good and as parents it is kind of a helpless feeling. This week Kavaun got a sinus infection and it has him a little down. He is tired. And when he does the King Kong crib tirade and it sounds like his vocal chords are going to snap, I would rather rock him for a 90-minute nap like I did today than have him "scream" himself to sleep when when he already feels yucky. No science in that decision. Old school might say, let him cry it off. Some book might have another remedy which includes whispering and encouraging him with loving pats to his bottom. Me - completely instinct and all "art".

The other realization I have come to is that often times when it comes to decisions about Kavaun, we do what makes us feel better too. Sure, it makes us feel better to not have to listen to him cry so we pick him up. Or when it is difficult to put his clothes on, once in a while I just have him roam the house in his diaper or naked and I tell myself that he likes it. He might like it, I don't know. What I do know is that I like not fighting him to put a onesie on so that we can lay around the house all afternoon. I think that it's okay to be honest about that. I think that some of the scheduling that is done "for the baby" is also done for mommies and daddies too. It's all fine. We never truly know the impact of all these decisions and the one common denominator across all the styles of parenting that seems to help children is love and a real sense of support. In our circles, it is often joked about my mother's parenting style. I will say many things in her defense and at the top of the list are three main things that sometimes get lost in all the joking. Number one, she was loving (albeit, she did have some unique ways to show it once in a while). Number two, my mother was extremely supportive and encouraging. While my brother and I could be out of line and disrespectful, we were kept in check pretty well and we were never discouraged from taking risks. And number three, my mother walked the walk and never really needed to talk the talk. Her integrity and fierce loyalty was seen in her day to day life - she did not have to teach me bible passages or talk about how to be a good person, she lived it. Again, ALL art. Truly, there was no science as far as I could tell.

I will never claim to have all the answers when it comes to parenting. Like all parents, I want Kavaun to feel safe taking risks, to know he will be loved unconditionally, to learn from his mistakes and to be a good person. I am not sure that having him cry himself to sleep at night or not will really make a difference to those things, but I am sure there will continue to be things that we figure out that will make life a bit easier in the moment.

A close friend told us that once Kavaun was born we would see our marriage in two separate parts; pre-Kavaun and then the rest. (I have since been told that adding another child to the mix is even crazier - no intention of that anytime soon by the way.) Well, the rest has only gotten better with time. After the first few months things seemed to settle down and now I want to spend my free time after work with Kavaun because it fills me up. I get antsy to get home - a few times I have been home within 25 minutes of seeing the last student walk out of my classroom. And while I love the interaction and shared laughs, I also enjoy just being with my son. Just being. Sometimes just watching him "read" to himself or play with a toy is enough to keep me engaged. Getting lost in mundane things has been one of the absolute greatest treats of fatherhood. The walks or the just laying on the floor and Kavaun running and jumping on my back - these sort of unplanned things makes the ordinary fun and rewarding. And I hate to admit it, but in the back of mind I am keenly aware that all of these phases fly by so fast. I am reminded by parents who tell me this on a regular basis. Sometimes, it's like I have one eye on the moment and one eye on the clock.

Last week, I took Kavaun on two runs of about 2.5 miles each. He seemed to like the run, but I think he enjoyed our walk the best. We walked to the market about a mile from our house and on the way home, he ate watermelon and Cheerios. Most recently, I needed my Kavaun time Sunday after getting home from a weekend away with my buddies and some college football in Southbend, Indiana. Reunions are fun and as much as I enjoyed my weekend, it was nice to get home too.

This weeks highlights

• Yesterday I licked a Cheerio and stuck it on Kavaun's nose so he could match me. We laughed through lunch
• Kavaun likes to bend over and make himself into a human tripod with his legs upright and his head on the floor. When he pushes forward, his hair is combed straight down and I call him Eddie Munster
• Kavaun plays Beata's belly like a drum, but usually that comes after his discovery of her belly button and endless laughter
• Kavaun will kiss on command sometimes. Beata was the happiest mom in the world when he moved in for a kiss three times in a row

Best summer ever

My favorite meal of the summer was eating Cheerois with Kavaun this week. He grabs them off my nose, my cheek and even my lip. He scoops one Cheerio at a time into his mouth and then shoots a hearty smile my way.

I do not have one "lasting image" or memory from my summer home with Kavaun - it's more like a series of things we got to do on a regular basis. The walks, the car rides, bird watching, the games and conversations.

This has been the best summer of my life. And now it is officially over. I go back to work tomorrow and while I will enjoy socializing and catching up with my colleagues, I already know my heart will be at home, not in the new classroom I am moving into. The people at work will serve as a good distraction I suppose. I like being a good teacher. I like being a good dad even more. Maybe when students show up next week, I will be more eager and my heart will be where it has always been in late-August.

Kavaun is my little buddy. I have spent a summer looking for reasons to go to the grocery store so I could show him off. I have taken him to school just so our secretaries and others could see us together. We went for walks almost every morning with me hoping to run into strangers or neighbors so they could enjoy Kavaun as much as I do. I have never been so proud. I absolutely love how our little guy makes me feel and that he has given me the gift of fatherhood - something that has changed me in a very profound way.

I have been a bit moody today and I know it is because I am already anticipating a tough drive to work tomorrow morning. Fortunately, that drive is only two miles. And it's weird because you would think by my general happiness when I get Kavaun down for a nap every day that it would translate to me being ready for a break. Those nap breaks mean carving out time for myself in a day that otherwise revolves around Kavaun. Now, because of work, I feel like I will be doing the reverse and carving out time for my family because 8-10 hours a day will be spent away from them. Right now, I do not like the idea of shifting my daily routine 180 degrees.

I typically do not talk about how much I will miss having all this time with my son. In fact, there is more here in these blog entries than I usually share with just about anyone. It really hit me the other day when I was meeting with a school administrator who is helping me complete my internship in Educational Leadership and she asked if I was concerned about adjusting to coming back to work. She was one of the people who saw me and Kavaun us on our visits to the school this summer and she said by the looks of it, it might be very difficult at first. I appreciate her observation and the fact she brought the issue to the table because that conversation is usually reserved for mothers returning from maternity leave.

When I started thinking about it and answering her I got a little choked up unexpectedly. I am not usually one to really open up about personal things with most people and having no time to really prepare to talk about my adjustment back to work, I guess my honest response struck a chord because I was receiving avice and hearing about a shared expereince that has helped me tackle my blues. I replied that it would be really tough at first and if I stick with coaching (which I plan to at this point), it may be even tougher in the winter.

In a small way, I am ready to back to school because I feel like I did make the most out of a great opportunity to be home with Kavaun for the entire summer. We read together, went for walks, played games, did lots of grocery shopping, spent time in Ionia and we squeezed in some Tigers games on TV as well. Like a lot of dads I am sure, I educaterd Kavaun on the finer points of the games and used my opportunities to tell him about his other relatives and some of my favorite memories growing up. And even when I was tired or caught myself looking at the clock waiting for Beata to get home from work, in my head (sometimes buried really deep if it was a challenging day) I kept sight of the fact that this opportunity would be short-lived.

I do not think I would have the perspective I have if I stayed at home full time. I am grateful I get the best of both worlds - a career that is important and a calling that I love. Three months of time with my family that is invaluable (not to mention Holidays and a spring break). Most parents - especially dads - do not have that luxury, I know.

So, here's to a wonderful summer gone by and a great school year ahead.

Nick

If you are not already aware, several of my blog entries are located at babababies.com. If you are interested I can get you password information. Also, I have TONS of pictures to upload and it will not be long before I get around to it I am sure...

First steps

Just for the sake of record-keeping: Kavaun's first steps on his own were on August 8, 2009. Beata worked a long Saturday shift and that evening when she got home Kavaun decided to show us his skills. He took three steps that day. In the days since, he has gotten to five steps and a lot more independent standing.

Right now we are in the phase of walking with him holding his hand.

Fun times.

Long blog coming soon I am sure.

Magic PJs

Our little guy has a pair of magic pajamas

that we discovered last week.

They are the lucky PJ's

that keep him sleeping hours straight.

Keep the lights off

I hate the bright red lights
On the monitor, they bounce and dance without warning
If all six light up, that means screaming
One or two could mean just an adjustment while in his crib
When I drink my coffee and read, I want those lights off for at least an hour, if not two
Peace and quiet please
Please

Updates

• Kavaun's top tooth came in on the right side. He is drooling everywhere and seems to be in pain.
• Kavaun is waving more often and almost on command
• Kavaun gets the cutest giggle attacks these days and can go on laughing for several minutes at a time
• Kavaun is doing this monkey crawl where he uses his arms and feet to move but will not allow his knees to touch the ground
• Kavaun is crawling very fast with his head down. We think he has figured out aerodynamics so he can move faster. I have to admit I did laugh when he ran into the wall the other day because his head was down
• He just started drinking out of the sippy cup yesterday
• Kavaun is taking a few steps with someone holding his arms up. There seems to be interest in walking since he has been walking alongside furniture for a while now

What I think I thought

I think the title of this blog, "Forty Days" is a telling indication of where I am today and how much my eyes have been opened to being a stay at home parent. Let's start with the notion that I started with which was to post a blog entry for forty different days this summer. I am sure somewhere in my well-intentioned heart I thought it would be easy to sit down and write about my summer with Kavaun at least three or four times per week. The reality is that even though I have fought hard not to have the days and weeks run together, it is inevitable that life happens that way. Sitting down to write (something I thoroughly enjoy) has taken a backseat to doing all of the things we do together. Let's see - we go for walks just about everyday and while our cool summer has several people unhappy because their beach time and tans took a hit, it has proven to be great weather for walks. Some of our walks last two hours. And then there is also the time spent rolling around and crawling in the backyard. The backyard time is a huge draw for the neighbors too. I usually time this to happen arund 5 p.m. and as moms and dads next door get home from work they bring their childred out to play with Kavaun and we visit. It gives me a few more sets of eyes to make sure my boy stops eating leaves and grass too. And let's not forget our occasional car rides, errands and reading time. The staff at Four Seasons Market look forward to a Kavaun visit. Now when I go in alone they seem less excited by my business. Then by the time the toys are picked up, he naps, I shower and eat we seem to be repeating the cycle. It is very important to note that I report this with a smile.

But I do have to laugh at what I thought staying home would be like and what it actually is. I think I thought that I would have a lot more time to do my own thing while home with Kavaun for the day ("think I thought" language makes it clear I do not know what I was really thinking). I just assumed that with a couple naps and the idea that he could not possibly need me every minute, I would be able to post some blog entries, edit pictures, catch up on "stuff" and then have a clean house all ready for when Beata gets home from work. Laughable really.

The thing is that when Kavaun is awake, I want to play with him and read to him. I am not as interested in my own time like I expected I would be. And yes, he really does need a set of eyes on him for just about every minute. Just when I think I have baby-proofed everything, Kavaun finds something new to eat (today it was junk mail on the couch and yesterday it was pine needled caught in the door casing - must have come off the Christmas tree?). The point here is that I clearly had no clue what staying home with a baby was about. The other point - I really do enjoy this opportunity. One more reason why my profession is perfect for me since it allows for extended time at home.

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When we were in Oregon Kavaun slept so lightly that approaching his crib became a job for a Navy Seal. In fact, one time I went in to check on him and Kavaun got restless and actually sat up inhis crib. I hit the floor and held my position for about 5 minutes in the dark room until it was clear and I could army crawl to the hallway. When I went downstairs and reported the incident to Beata and her mom, I explained to them how close of a call it was. As I was wiping the sweat from my brow, Beata's mom began laughing so hard I thought she was going to wake him up. In the six years I have known Beata's mother I have never seen her laugh like that. She thought is was so funny that we would all go to such lengths to make sure Kavaun is happy (including her).

Right now I am laughing from our downstairs office area with a granola bar on the desk beside a full thermos of hot coffee. There is no way that now that I would even consider a trip upstairs now that I finally got Kavaun to sleep. I tiptoe around like a teenager coming home after curfew.

Good times. Pleny of smiles.
N

Toy box?

This destruction took less than two minutes.

Beautiful Summer Day

Up early to play with Kavaun. He should wake from his nap anytime now so this will be quick. We have a trip to the high school and the grocery store on our to-do list. Tomorrow may be a trip to Ionia and/or up the Sidney to see Grandpa Elm.

The tid-bits

• Kavaun has been having giggle attacks
• I have never had such a fulfilling feeling as when my little boy climbs up on to my chest and rests his head there
• Nothing stinks more than a green bean or squash poop
• Kavaun sleeps best after a short cry (45 seconds or less) when he puts himself to sleep. Sorry Beata
• Kavaun can destroy a clean house in less than five minutes, but it never makes me mad
• Folgers called. They want me for their next ad campaign.
• I do not miss spit up
• I do miss happy diaper changes (although we are having more lately than we did the past month or so)
• For eight or so weeks I have not thought about work
• I am not into taking as many pictures of Kavaun lately - I would rather just enjoy my time with him lately (It is truly relative because "not into" just means "not as many"

Awake.

Later,

N

Zombie

It is official.

I am a zombie. It is 5 p.m. and I have left the house only to take Kavaun for a one-mile walk around our neighborhood. The kitchen looks like the pots and pans cabinet had it out with the tupperware cabinet. Three poopy diapers in knotted up plastic grocery bags rest at the bottom of the stares facing off with my suitcase which is half-full and scattered begging the question of why I folded all those clothes in Oregon anyway.

My list of to-do's needs to work around feeding and sleeping - Kavaun's and my own. A lack of discipline has me updating this blog and putting off the laundry and grocery shopping. In my head I justify my addiction to this laptop (an addiction that has been traded in for TV since I now use the TV to listen to music) that I can not afford to wake this sleepy baby, but the washing machine won't wake him and grocery shopping at noon after his morning nap could have fit into his schedule easily. Oh, that's right - I needed to finish that pot of coffee and shower and shave my four day stubble. And the jet lag. I tried that excuse out for a minute but the truth is I liked being lazy for two days. Today is different though. I am sick of lazy. Time is up.

And while my dripping sarcasm makes it seem like I am upset, that is not the case. I am just honest.

So, I must pledge to get outside everyday that weather permits. That has been the highlight of today - our walk. Somehow between playing basketball with the old guys in less than two hours, I need to get the house presentable, eat something (toast and cereal is all I have eaten all day), get groceries and put food on the table for Beata.

Hmmm. Sounds like I am in quite a fix ("fix" - my stab at imitating an old Southern farmer to further entertain myself).

I will get to it now. Kavaun will wake up soon I am sure. I will feed and change him and hit the store by 6. Yeah, that's the plan. Maybe I will just go get something to have for dinner tonight and go back to the store after hoops for the big time grocery shopping.

This honesty must sound rather pathetic, but I refuse to edit this...

Laughing as my soft rock TV Music station is playing Bobby McFerrin's hit, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." L O L

Hitting Publish right now.

N