Untitled

Dead tired
Never so full of life
Roya is amazing
Kavaun her hero
Beata the glue and the loving intentional mom and wife
Me
The lucky one

First Night in crib

Our baby girl Roya is in her crib downstairs for the first time. Until now she has been sleeping in a little cacun-like rocking bed in our bedroom.

Roya June is a happy smiley girl. Eye contact guarantees a smile. She laughs at Kavaun and plays along with his entertaining antics.

I have never been so happy and so fulfilled in my life as I am now.

Every night at dinner we have a tradition where we ask Kavaun what he is grateful for and he shares with us. We get various responses including, "Baba is a good cooker." "Mother Nature", "Snack time at school", "My food" and the "Garbage man". After giving thanks, we all do a cheers with our drinks and Beata and I follow suit. This was a tradition Beata started and I love it. It is usually one of the highlights of my day.

Happy 4th Birthday buddy

Tomorrow my boy turns four.
And all I can think is to be grateful for the last four years with him in our life.
The other thought I have is to fight wishing time would slow down and to just enjoy these times for what they are, realizing that saying goodbye to today also means welcoming all the new tomorrow's.
I love you Kavaun. I am overwhelmed by how much I love you. Just overwhelmed.

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Kavaun started school a few weeks ago and he really seems to like the experience. He is talking so much and his personality is becoming more and more defined.

Roya had her checkup and shots - last week she weighed in at 13 pounds and 30 inches.

More later,
N

Pizza and hot dogs

Kavaun in just made me pizza in his kitchen
He offered me a hot dog too - with mustard

And he says all he has is cheese pizza and pepperoni. When I asked about mushrooms he said he had this too. His toy room is the kitchen and when I stepped into the area bordered by toys, a blanket and other big things, he politely asked me to leave because "this is where I make my food."

Kavaun's toy room has recently been a forest where deer live, a garbage truck, a cockpit and a castle. And that was just on Friday.

I love this boys imagination and how creatively he plays independently.

Luck baba,
N

Bacon and eggs

Frying breakfast while my first love sleeps
Second love is playing cockpit - he is always the lead pilot
My third love is sleeping, tired from smiling all morning
Thank you God for Saturday mornings
And all the days before and after
In this
The best summer of my life

Kavaun "exposed"

I don't enjoy folding clothes, but tonight was different. It was a chance to be reminded that right now is the best time in life and I do not take it for granted. Each pair of Kavaun's pj bottoms with silly designs (dinosaurs, Elmo, trucks and bears) and little onesies for Roya served as notice that I need to continue to appreciate this time - one funny challenge at a time. Here is the latest in bullet points with hopes that this will serve as he blueprint for our laughs later: * Night time summer walks have been a grat tradition for after dinner. * Kavaun's dancing at the Music in the Park held at the Fenton Gazebo was enjoyed by about 150 spectators as he took his show right up to the stage area. They howeled with laughter as he pulled his pants down, put his hand on his hip and got ready to launch his "outdoor pee" facing the audience! Luckily I was about 25 feet away and I was able to cover him and pull up his pants so the show as short-lived. We went accross the street and he peed on the banks of the river in some brush away from the crowds. * Roya's temperment has been great as we adjust to ur new life with a baby and toddler. There's a lot I am forgetting, but I am tired....next time. N

Finally home with Roya June and Beata. As I type this Baby Roya is sleeping peacefully with the last light of dusk sneaking into the room. James Taylor and Jim Croce (Time in a Bottle) serenade us while Beata takes a long-awaited warm bath. Life is perfect. I have never been so filled with love and gratitude that is made me stop like this - stop to savor it all, take it and try to beat back the fear that goes with this abundance of love. ### It's fitting that Mother's Day is tomorrow and without the incredible women in my life, I am afraid I would be incomplete. My own mother led me to my wife and my appreciation of the gifts that Beata brings to our marriage. Her mom is her best friend and now we have to opportunity to raise our baby Roya so she can be a strong beautiful and compassionate woman. Kavaun will be a better everything because of his mom's love.

Here I sit / Hospital room / Roya June in my arm / Beata joon sleeping at my side / Everything in life perfect / Just perfect

The Wrath of Kavaun

This has been the month of lists. Mostly to-do lists, but also dream lists, name lists, purchase lists, and all of the above. Kavaun has been quite fun overall and we still remain amazed at his persistence. It is unbelievable really. This boy will not give up on anything - an idea, an argument, a simple request denied. For Kavaun just about everything can be deemed as the most important need and he will make sure the world knows it. A drink of water, a toy to play with or something more important like his hunger or a desire for one specific food - everyone is subject to his wrath or his smiley manipulation (whichever he deems to be most effective for the moment).

I will have to finish this entry later... gotta run,
N 

Kavaun Singing Take Me Out the Ball Game

Our little Tiger

Fun stuff

I have to get a couple things on here before I forget them.

• Last night in an emotional tirade because we decided that at 8:30 p.m. on his empty stomach with no nap that we would take a stand and not allow toys in the bathroom for "potty time", Kavaun - in a fit of rage - grabbed his penis, pointed it at me and screamed, "baba, I will pee on you!" HIs face red from crying and his toddler erection staring right at my knees, we negotiated a compromise. I think he meant it.
• This week home for Spring Break has been great. I love my time with Kavaun. Breakfast and him waking me up in the morning are especially rewarding. 

More later - it is past 2 a.m. and he will likely have me up by 8 a.m. again tomorrow.

Good fortune

My little boy has been so much fun lately. I just love it.
My beautiful wife is in the final trimester and the to-do list is looming.
I love what we have together.
I am gald I take the time to appreciate how fortunate I am.
We really do pull together and we enjoy the funny times Kavaun gives us.
Lucky me,
N

I hope this memory is one of the ones I hang on to for a long long time, maybe forever. When Kavaun bounced out of the car today there was a light snowfall with huge snowflakes drifting down from the sky. Kavaun tipped his head back and tried to catch the snowflakes on his tongue. Giggling, he moved his body with his arched back while looking to the snow gods in the sky.

I took a moment to step back and give thanks.

Every once in a while you get one of those simple moments that you just hope you won't forget.

It seems I have a lot of those in my life.

Updates

Some fun stuff:

• Kavaun told Beata the other night that we do not have enough room in our house for a new baby. This after he talked to the baby in mama's tummy
• Kavaun loves the snow monster from Rudolph (the Berl Ives version of course)
• New play kitchen set and play-dough are a hit these days
• Sledding last Sunday was a blast. We hit the steep hill at St. Johns.

More later,
N

Boy or girl?

Yesterday on my plane ride, I thought long and hard about all the advantages of having a baby boy and then I did the same for a baby girl. In the end, it got jumbled up and all of my "theories" blended into all the same ideas. Being a parent is one of life's gifts and while parenting also makes for good stand-up comedy material and there is plenty to not enjoy about it, the truth is that the roller coaster of emotion it sends me on gives new and real meaning to my life.

On one hand, having a little girl would be a dream come true for both me and Beata. I have always wanted the opportunity to have a little girl to shower with love and attention. It would be great to show a daughter what love looks like in a healthy family. Beata is a great mom and I think a daughter would highlight some of her parenting strengths in very obvious ways. Beata's selfless and others oriented personality would bring out the best in a female. I can not think of a better model of love, hard work and devotion for any child to witness. It would be great to see the dynamic that would develop between a daughter and Beata. I  would love the experience of watching a little girl grow into a confident and loving woman.

A little boy and seeing Kavaun as big brother to a little brother would be excellent as well. Teaching another boy how to be a loving and caring man who could one day grow up to be a loving a caring husband is an amazing opportunity. Beata is so great with Kavaun and her ability to adapt to a boy's world has been proven over the last three years and for a second boy I think she would excel desptie the energy drain.

While I was sitting on a chartered plane coming home from the Spartan Cornhusker football game, it hit me that adding another little one to the family is obviously going to change things for me in ways I know I will not get until it happens. There's a lot of talk in my social circles about how life changes so dramatically with the addition of the second child, etc. The reality for me is that I have loved the changes in my life with one child. I am guessing that a second child does not simply double to enjoyment, but I have no doubt that I will be fulfilled and happy. Honestly, being a devoted father and husband is what I feel I do best. I identify with those roles and find my joy in those two parts of my life more than anything else in life. There really is not even a close second for me. I tend to be pretty private about it, but my family life is the source of most of my inspiration. It also helps me seek some balance.

October was tough financially. New Water heater, new furnace, new brakes on the car, expensive weekend at Nebraska. It added up quickly. Add to that the anxiety of starting a new basketball season and the time and energy taken to be the best coach I can be and I feel as though I am powering down this week so I can gear up for the marathon that is November, December, January and February. Beata is rightfully anxious and that makes me anxious. Kavaun is at an age where I know I will miss him more and I expect he will "search" for his fulfillment by challenging his mother often. I am picturing some Kavaun time at the gym during my practices. Uh oh.

May the next 120 days be rewarding and happy,
N

Traditions we love

Yesterday we made another visit to the orchard with Kavaun. By my count, this is his fourth visit to the orchard this fall. I got some good pictures, including the one of him with the pumpkin Rene Wheaton gave him when he was a newborn. We have taken a picture each of the last four Octobers with the little pumpkin because it shows his growth.

I figure since we have told the first tier of people, I can now post on here that BEATA is PREGNANT! I am so excited about this recent development. We are both a little nervous because of the gap of time between doctor visits. WE are at the 10-week point. The due date is in mid-May. I love this! I have never been more fulfilled in my life.

Kavaun will share the spotlight easily no doubt?

In Kavaun news, we have been amused by his increased talking, questions, singing and bedtime antics. Bedtime at 8:30 or so now means asleep around 10 p.m. after several stalling tactics which include, but are not limited to

• Requesting we cut off the tags on his shirt, pants, stuffed animals and "napkins" (napkins = the wash cloths he sleeps with.
• Requesting specific colors for his wash cloth napkins he sleeps with
• A change of PJ's
• To go potty (actually sitting on it even though he is not really all that motivated to go)
• Flip his pillow to the cool side
• Singing in his bed endlessly
• Playing with his animals and having them talk to one another

This boy is the other love of my life and I have already made room for my third love - whoever he or she might be . . .

While Beata is understandably more nervous about the impending adjustments (she is the realist while I operate in the optimist/naive world), we are both THRILLED and I cannot wait until May to meet Kavaun's little brother or sister.

- N